Putting The 'IN' Into Insanity
by XxHot92xX
Summary: Humerous problems us teenagers deal with everyday. Romance may occur later when Raven gets drunk oops I said too much..chap 15 up. Now M for mature content
1. The Mighty Definition

Hey all! I've been waiting to do this story forever! ReViVed was nice and all but it didn't have that crazy humor that I really like to write. So, my minions, here is a story that will fulfill allll my wants and needs! This story has no Slade or any villainous encounters nor problems. Just problems we Teenagers face everyday. Well, maybe not all of them in here...

I bring to you!:

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 1: _The Mighty Definition _

Everyone knows that there's a time in everyone's life where you wonder if you have gone completely crazy, nuts, insane, strange. By definition, INSANITY is defined as seriously, mentally ill. But it also means..extremely foolish.. Well folks, if 'extremely foolish' the def. then we are ALL insane. So, really, there's an excuse for the behavior you are about to be a witness (and a victim) of...

"Starfire! Where are my oven-mits and apron!?"

"Oh! You mean the pink ones??"

Cyborg spit out a big gulp of orange juice across the table. Right where Beast Boy was sitting..

"What the hell man!?"

Cyborg payed no mind to the green teen as he erupted with laughter, "DUDE! You OWN an apron?! A PINK apron!?"

Robin turned a wonderful shade of magenta, "Um..well you see they had no more red at the store and the sales girl was really hot and-"

Starfire immediately ran up to Robin, eye to eye, and so very close.. , "Who is this 'hot' girl of which you speak of?"

Robin backed up to the kitchen stove, "Come on Star, you know there's no one prettier than you..She wasn't hot at all!" A huge sweat drop slid down his head.

Beast Boy folded his arms smugly, orange juice still sliding down to his chin from his hairline, "Then WHY did you buy the pink apron?"

Robin turned his head to the guys, then back to Starfire. As he continued, they became bigger and bigger, pressuring him to answer.

Robin went down on his knees on the tiled floor, "BECAUSE I LIKE PINK!"

Everyone's eyes got big as saucers. Their mighty hero...liked pink.

Robin continued with his admitting, "I like it! Love it, okay?? I even have a pink teddy bear!!"

Starfire's eyes lit up brightly as she heard this new piece of information, "Oh joyful! We can do so much to your room now that you have admitted to the truth that you love pink! We must start right away!! Come Robin! Let us lead you into the beautiful world of feminine hues!"

With that said, Starfire hoisted Robin to his feet and flew out of the room, Robin being dragged all the way.

As he descended off into the darkness, one final shriek was heard.

"NOOOOO!!!! IT WAS JUST AN APRON!!!!!"

Beast Boy and Cyborg turned slowly faced one another. "Holy crap.."

**3 minutes later.. **

"I'm gonna beat you this time Cy! There's no way you can stop me now- NO!"

Beast Boy watched in horror as the his car burned up in flames. Cyborg laughed heartily, "I'm waiting.."

Beast Boy's face became dark as he handed over 40 bucks..

Without warning, a huge thumping sound boomed in the Tower.

Beast Boy, frightened, eyed Cy, "D-did you hear that?"

Cyborg nodded, a scared looked creeping onto his face, "Y-yeah.."

It sounded once more, causing the guys to hug each other.

"We're gonna DAI!"

A loud and ear-piercing scream sounded throughout the halls and rooms of the Tower.

Beast Boy started to shake, " Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, holy crap.."

Cyborg peered over the couch, looking into the deep and dark hallway, "There's something in there... Holy shit there's something in there..!"

Beast Boy let go of Cy and peered over the couch too, "But what?"

Cyborg stood up and put on a brave face. The American Flag appeared in the back round.

"Only one heroic and courageously way to find out.."

x-x-x-x

"Hello, exterminator?" Cyborg twirled his finger in the telephone cord with Beast Boy by his side, the thumping still occurring.

"Yes, we have a very huge problem." Cyborg listened quietly to the exterminator. After 5 seconds he turned to Beast Boy helplessly and mouthed, "What problem do we have??" Beast Boy thought for a moment. A light bulb flashed above his head and he changed into a mouse.

" A very huge _vermin_ problem."

Beast Boy reverted back to human form and gave the thumbs-up sign to Cy.

Cyborg returned and continued talking to the exterminator, " Address? 15 Titans Tower, Jump City, California." Cyborg ended proudly. A look of worry suddenly appeared on his face.

"W-what? Oh, um yes. Yes we _do_ live on a secluded island.. Um.. The _vermin_ SWAM to the island. Yes. No I'm assuring you sir, they did in _fact_ swim to the island."

Beast Boy nodded his head and whispered, "Good!"

"What the hell are you two do-Mmph!"

Beast Boy quickly turned and dove to the ground with the intruder. Which was Raven.

Beast Boy looked worriedly back at Cy then to Raven. She did not seem pleased with his hand over her mouth. Not to mention completely on _top_ of her.

Raven removed his hand from her mouth and stood up, shaking the boy off. "What the hell?!"

"SHHHHHHH!!!" Beast Boy brought her down again and rolled behind the couch.

"You little fucker!! I'm going to KILL you!"

Beast Boy hurriedly ran out from behind the couch. Raven did also, following Beast Boy's tracks around the room, eyes glowing red.

Cyborg stood dumbfounded with the phone. "What sir? The noise? Sir that's the _vermin!_"

Beast boy ran past Cyborg with Raven behind him holding a knife.

They both disappeared behind the couch once more. Cyborg put his metal hand on his ear from the noise this brought, "Sir I'm telling you! It's not a party! Yes...yes..Of course I'm positive!"

"AIEEEEEEE!!!!"

Silence came with the shriek of pain.

Cyborg snapped his head to the location of the couch. "That was my roommate, um..Chanel..She _saw_ the _vermin_.."

Beast Boy came into view, tied up in rope. He angrily mouthed to Cyborg, "Chanel?!!!??"

Raven's hands grabbed Beast Boy again, pulling him behind the couch.

"No! Please! What are you going to do with that?? No!!"

A loud boom sounded once more, which made Raven immediately stand up. "What was that?"

Beast Boy stood up also and angrily spat out the sock that was in his mouth. "We don't know!" He whispered angrily.

Cyborg sighed, " Thank you sir. We'll prepare with mouse traps, gag rags, knives.. Okay. Please hurry!" He placed the phone back with a click.

He turned to Raven and Beast boy, "He's coming.. And with champagne!"

Raven crossed her arms, "What?"

Cyborg put a hand behind his neck, "Apparently, he thinks a party is going on _whilst_ there are _vermin_ in the house."

Raven cocked her head, "_Vermin_?"

Beast Boy cocked his head, "_Whilst_??"

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"Are you sure it was a smart idea to give the exterminator **_5_** **glasses of champagne**!?"

Raven whispered violently at Cyborg, who had in fact gave the exterminator 5. glasses. Of champagne.

"Shh. Calm down Rae. We just need to feed him somethingthat willabsorb the alcohol." Beast Boy tried to console the angry half-demon.

Raven rolled her eyes, "Oh so let's just feed him a sponge!"

Cyborg massaged his closed eyes, trying to calm down, "Okay. We'll just send him down the hall. So, if the thing eats him, then we can just say he was drunk!"

Raven put her hands on her hips, "And what is this _thing_ that you two have been babbling on about?"

Ironically, a boom and shriek echoed down the hallway.

Beast Boy came out from hiding behind Cyborg, "_That_ thing!"

So Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy and..the drunken exterminator descended down into the dark hallway.

"You know what's _so_ good babe? Ube-beans!" The exterminator put an arm around Raven who was smoking, carrying a bottle of wine in the other.

Cyborg gently took the exterminator's arm off of Raven, "Let's keep touching to a minimum please. Just find the _vermin_."

A small tremor sounded. "The Ube-Bean leader of matrimony has founded me!"

The exterminator ran off to the source of the tremor. "Come my fellow bindings! Follow me and I shall pronounce you wife and dude!"

Cyborg slapped a hand to his forehead at the stupidity. Beast Boy merely blinked in confusion.

"Doesn't matrimony mean a marriage thing?"

"I know one thing," Raven pushed Beast Boy in front of her, "Your gonna be his wife."

Beast Boy let out a huff and the group continued walking, following the drunken man..

5 minutes later they found him pressing his ear against Starfire's bedroom door.

"Shh...the ceremony's taking place... Pizza Hut will be here with chicken soon.."

"Sir..are you sure the thing's in there?"

The exterminator nodded his head, "Negative my fiend..The thing of Ube is definitely in here.."

Cyborg spoke up, "Umm...Maybe _I_ should open the door, okay?"

Hestepped back, leaving Cy to open the door that would change their lives forever..

"Titans..All I have to say is..if I go down, I want you all to move on. Don't weep for me because I will be-"

Raven gave a huffy breath, "-Just open the door."

A throbbing nerve appeared on Cy's temple.

As he reached for the knob, Raven turned to Beast Boy, "Where are Star and Rob?"

The door 'swooshed' open to reveal something that would disturb all of mankind..

A feminine and a masculine gasp sounded before there was nothing but silence.

Robin, the mighty leader of the Teen Titans, was dressed in a pink tutu, tied to a chair. Starfire stood next to him, putting his hair into small, pink bows. The thumping had occurred when Robin tried to escape.

Beast Boy and Cyborg stood wide-eyed and synchronized in saying, " Holy crap.."

Raven stood next to the exterminator, also wide-eyed. She finallyturned to the drunken guy and said calmly, "Let me have a slug of that wine Hugh.."

* * *

A/N: A bit short, but hey, all my first chapters are short. Longer chapters, I promise. sigh I'm still working on the epilogue for ReViVed. I just want to get the epilogue over with. Not that I don't like it, it's just I feel that the story has ended and I leave you off where you know that everyone will be alright. But I promised that I would do an epilogue, so that's what I'm gonna do. 

Next Chapter: _Low-Fat Mayonnaise  
_Sound clip: "Oh my God! This stuff is great! Low-fat all the way baby!" "Yeah! It tastes the same and my pants feel looser!"

Or..(haven't decided)

_Oh The Sweet Realms Of Bath Salts  
_Sound Clip: Beast Boy and Cy burst threw Robin's door and ran into his bathroom. "Yo! Rob, Star! What the- Oh my GOD!!" "Shield your eyes man!"

You guys can help me decide by reviewing and telling me which one you want. :)


	2. Oh The Sweet Realms Of Bath Salts

**Truffle-**Thank you so much! I love it when I make people laugh!

**Jadedea-**Thanks! I will definitely write more. And, as you can see, Bath Salts is the next chapter!

Well, we're seeing some of Robin's feminine side.. -snickers-

Robin: Hey! It's not MY fault I like Pink! You wrote it that way! And, how can you resist the soft color, the fluffy texture...

XxHot92xX: Umm... Ok then! Let's get onto the next chappie!

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 2: _Oh The Sweet Realms Of Bath Salts _

Another day in the Titan household. Cyborg was trying to get the wine stain from the exterminator out of the carpet, Beast Boy was trying to look up the word '_whilst_', Raven was still recovering fromthe sight of pink, Starfire was still trying to find out why Robin tried to escape her and Robin..

Robin was trying to convince everyone that he did NOT like the pink hue. Nothing seemed to work, even though he had bought a RED apron. Cyborg and Beast Boy were still convinced that he did in fact like pink when Robin refused to give it to Starfire. Also, they saw the teddy bear.. Come on, that will change a LOT of perspectives..

"Why oh WHY did I let him play spin the bottle on the carpet when he had a full glass of wine?" Cyborg scrubbed at the red carpet vigorously with Windex... Yeah.

"Well you better get that spot out. You know, to hide the _evidence_ of _vermin_.." Raven flipped to the next page in her book: '_How To Survive In A House Full Of Space-Monkeys_'.

Cyborg went over to the kitchen sink to fetch a new sponge, for the old one was now confetti..

"Oh come on Raven, I think Robin guessed that we had a drunken exterminator named Hugh at our house to find make-believe _vermin_. The bill kinda left it out in the open. Not to mention the liquor bill.."

Raven merely shook her head in shame and continued reading the chapter: _What To Do When They Want YOUR Bananas_.

"Okay guys," Robin stepped into the room with the pink apron and a pair of scissors, "I'm gonna do it!"

Starfire walked in next to him, "Yes, he is ready to let go of his painful childhood and move on."

Raven's eyebrow raised up, "With a pair of scissors?"

Robin's eyes went a little crazy-like, even under his mask, "I'm gonna CUT this retched apron into little tiny pieces!!"

Cyborg tried his hardest not to burst out laughing.

"I'm gonna do it!! You can't stop me!! Muhahahaha!! I'm a Robin on the edge!!" Robin began to stir up maniac laughter.

Raven skipped some pages to come to Chapter 9: _How To Get Life-Insurance Without The Hassle!_

A long string of drool hung from Robins open mouth, "I'll show you!! Show you all!!!" Robin blindly spun the scissors around and snipped the apron up into little..tiny..pieces..

At this particular moment, Beast Boy decided to walk in..

"Umm..Did Robin watch Martha Stewart again?"

Robin took one look at the cut up blanket and fell to his knees, "I'm so sorry!! So So So SORR-OW!"

Starfire smacked Robin upside the head.

Robin massaged his sore head, "Heh, thanks Star..Almost..lost my _cool_ there for a second!"

Raven flipped to her next page without a care, "Yeah.._Almost_.."

Beast Boy darted his eyes to Robin then the cut up apron, "So anyways, who wants breakfast?"

"Beast Boy? It's 6:00 in the afternoon.."

Beast boy folded his arms in annoyance, "Fine Raven. Who wants Lunchfast?"

Cyborg stood up warily and slammed the sponge down on the ground like a football, "I AM!"

Yep..Another typical day at Titans Tower..

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"Hey Raven? What exactly _are_ Ube-Beans? Are they like regular beans or..like..Ube?"

Raven put a hand to her head and leaned back in the booth, "Good Lord, help me.."

Cyborg returned from the stove wearing his white, poofy chef's hat, "Alright y'all! Lunchfast calls for fish wrapped in an _omelet_, _bacon_ burger, _waffle_-cone ice cream and, my specialty! BEEF CAKES!"

Robin spoke up, "Umm.. Beef Cakes?"

Cyborg beamed, "Yep! All the way from Australia!" He set the huge platter down.

Beast Boy wrinkled his nose in dissatisfaction at the Beef Cakes, "Dude, are you _trying _to kill me??"

Cyborg set a huge proportion of fish omelets on his plate, "No, Tofu has."

Starfire beamed brightly, "On my planet, we used to always have beef cakes! But..I do not assume that they were the same as these. Ours contained the contents of fungus peeled off the Great Emperor's feet and the bunions of Nana."

Robin froze in mid-chew of his beef cakes, ".. I think I'm done with the BCs.."

Cyborg reached over to Robin's plate and dumped the contents of it onto his, "Suit yourself.."

After Lunchfast (what a name..), the Titans sat down in the TV Room to have their annual fight over which show to watch.

"CSI: Miami!"

"SNL!"

"The Jets vs. Cheese-heads game!"

"Murder She Wrote..."

"Realms Of The Flesh!"

Robin sighed angrily, "Come on guys! CSI is the best show and you know it!"

" No the Cheese-heads! They got game!"

Raven rolled her eyes, "Yeah, like I really want to watch a stupid football game with Green Bay Packer idiots dressed in cheese hats.."

Beast boy piped up, "Well, at least SNL isn't about a pathetic, gothy woman who kills herself!"

Raven shot a look at Beast Boy, "You're not even close! Murder She Wrote is about when a woman..."

Starfire paused before she spoke about the show she preferred to watch. Her curious green-on-green eyes swivelled over to the unattended remote.

"CSI pwns you ALL!"

'_This week on Realms of The Flesh: Massages! See the exact and precise movements this masseuse does on Larry Gimmeabeer? Her fingers are curled just so, so that the hand movements have effects on Larry Gimmeabeer's skin. Look at his fat just roll gracefully like that!' _

All eyes transfixed on the fat bald guy's imagewith pimples of the thousands on his big, stretchy back.

Robin winced, "Is his...blubber..supposed to be just..unraveling like that??"

Cyborg looked away disgusted, "Oh man, that just nasty! Look at the woman's fingers! They're like fuzzy caterpillars!"

Beast Boy just stared at the fat. How could so much fat and blubber be on one single person?

Robin got up from his seat, "Well, not this isn't fun to watch, _believe_ me, but I'm going to go to my room for a bit. See ya."

The Titans all chorused a hypnotized, "Mmm.."

Raven sighed and opened up her book to Chapter 3: _Got Bogo On The Brain? _

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"Robin! I have just experienced the sweet realms of massaging the flesh! Please," Starfire opened Robin's bathroom door, unaware of the procedures taking place behind it.

"Please, let us preform the hand manu-EEeeek!"

"AAAaahhh!!!

Beast Boy and Cyborg burst threw Robin's door and ran into his bathroom.

"Yo, Rob! Star! What's the- Oh my GOD!!"

" Shield your eyes man!!"

"It's not what it looks like I swear!"

Cyborg replied with his hand covering his eyes, "Yeah, you're _really_ not sitting there completely naked in your BATHTUB in BUBBLE BATH!!"

Robin covered up his..-cough- _parts_ with an army boat, "I've got a boat! It's a BOY bath! I've had a long, hard day!"

Beast Boy stood in the doorway facing Robin's room (not at Robin, guys..), "Yeah, cutting up a pink apron _really_ takes it out of you!"

Raven came up to the doorway, "What's going on?"

Beast Boy waved his hands frantically, "Believe me Raven, you do NOT want to go in there!"

Raven pushed Beast Boy aside to unveil the horrible truth, "What the _hell_ is _wrong_ with you??! First the apron, then the teddy bear, then the tutu and bows.. Now THIS!?"

Starfire finally snapped out of her trance from seeing Robin's manhood, "I believe our friend is, how do you say? Homo?"

Robin flared, " I am NOT Homo!! Bubble Baths they're..they're just nice."

Cyborg snorted, "Yeah and soon you'll be saying heels are good for your posture.."

Robin's face fell, "Why would you say that? That's just mean.."

Cyborg momentarily remembered back to a _Friends_ episode with a conversation similar to this. He decided to keep on with it, "Now I've upset you? What did I say?"

Robin twirled his finger in the warm bubble bath water with his head down, "It's not what you said, just the way you said it.."

Beast Boy laughed out loud, "Ha! You're turning into a women!-OW!"

This comment received a smack from Raven.

"But really guys," Robin put an arm on the side of the bathtub, "Is it really that bad? You guys should try it."

Cyborg shook his head violently, "No, no man. No _way_ would we do that. Right Beast Boy?... Beast Boy?"

Beast Boy stayed quiet, making little circles on the tiled floor with his foot, hands behind his back.

Cyborg turned around to Beast Boy and gave him a exasperated look, " Oh come _ON_! You have GOT to be kidding me!!"

Beast Boy looked at him innocently, "What? I didn't say anything.."

Cyborg banged is head on Robin's bathroom wall.

Raven stepped up to the plate, "Oh okay guys, there's only so much time I can stay in a room with our turned-upside down leader.. Let's go."

They all paraded out of the room to leave Robin alone with his bubbles.

**Early The Next Morning...**

Raven walked quietly to the Master Bathroom (yes they have one. I do too. Well, not really – –; ) to take a shower. Her own shower had no more hot water since Beast Boy's attempt to make her room a 'steamy' jungle when she got back from her café. The public restrooms were just plain nasty to her. So, the Master Bathroom would just have to do.

Now, everyone knows a Master Bathroom consists of two sinks, two showers, and two bathtubs. And of course a toilet. Raven had never put much thought into _why _the two tubs were linked to one another or why there were even _two_ of them. Well, this morning would change her perspective of it..

Raven opened the door with a small click. As it swung open, she gasped along with two others.

"Heh, hi Rae."

"Yo Raven..aha..wassup?"

Raven stood wide-eyed with her mouth dropped open. Her towels and shampoos fell to the ground.

Beast Boy was in one tub with bubbles and sitting next to a half empty jar of Bath Salts.

Cyborg was in the other with a rubber ducky.

Raven knew, absolutely knew, that BB had his trunks on but, really.. Together? Cy and BB together in a bathroom? In bathtubs?

"W-what in Heaven's name are you doing?!?"

Beast Boy laughed nervously, "Well, we decided to draw our own baths, since Robin seemed so relaxed after his. Ooo. And I put too many, ah, bath salts in mine and now they're..lodged places.." Beast Boy seemed to stare off into the distance as he encountered the new realms of bath salts.

"It's different...it's interesting..."

Raven smacked her hand to her forehead.

Cy smiled and patted the water next to him, "Wanna go for a swim Raven?"

The two burst out laughing as Raven ran out of the room from their lack of modesty.

Beast Boy settled back into his bath water, "Ah..the sweet realms of...bath salts.."

x-x-x

As Raven reached her room, she quickly turned to Chapter 20 of her book and read the page thoroughly.

The chapter was titled:

_So You Think You've Seen It All? _

* * *

A/N: See? A little bit longer. I promise I will lay off Robin in the next chapter. He's just so easy to make fun of. Sorry Robin fans, but it's true. ;) And I LOVE those Bogo commercials! They're so funny!

I'm torn between doing _Eerbody In Da Club Gettin' Tipsy _or _Low-Fat Mayonnaise  
_Probably Mayonnaise since I was going to do it for this chap. Ok then. You already know the sound clip for it but I'll just put it in again..

"Oh my GOD! This stuff is great! Low-fat all the way baby!" "Yeah! Tastes the same and my pants feel looser!"

Read and Review pwease! :)


	3. Low Fat Mayo!

**romantic-raven- **-big, cheesy smile- thank you!

**Emmery-** Aw, no internet huh? God I hate when my parents do that to me! Glad you liked the chappie!

**Lauren-** I will think about that suggestion. It sounds like something I could write, ya know? Sometimes I get suggestions that I just can't write out. But enuff of my rambling! Thanks! Gotta love the random!

**raven-rocks-the-dark- **THANK YOU SO MUCH! THAT'S THE NICEST REVIEW! EVER!

Well, here is chapter three! I decided to lay off Robin for a bit..keyword: a BIT. I have other chapters where I'll hit on him again!

Warning to everyone! This may beoffensive to FAT-FREE MAYONNAISE LOVERS! -beware sign flashes-

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 3: _Low-Fat Mayo!! _

Mayonnaise. A thick, cream-like substance that is used to spread on sandwiches (or hotdogs..) to add moisture and flavor. Low-Fat Mayonnaise. An evil and sworn enemy to the Mayonnaise. It lacks the fat that Fat-Filled Mayonnaise...people..love. A war has gone on for ETERNITIES! Just to find out which mayo is IN FACT the best...of the best...

"Star!! Where's the mustard!?"

Beast Boy stuck his green head in the fridge and moved canned items around to find the tangy substance.

Starfire appeared innocently behind him, " The delightful and refreshing beverage? Oh.. Um.. There is another beverage in the fridge. I believe it is called.._Mayo_-_naise?" _

Beast Boy's face lit up, "Mayo? Sweet!"

Cyborg entered the kitchen, "Hey man, whatcha makin?"

"Sandwich. You want..?"

Cyborg peered over Beast Boy's shoulder, "If it's that tofu crap, I ain't having spit."

Beast Boy's face darken a bit as he handed Cy the real bologna.

Cyborg smiled sweetly, "One day man, you will just be skin n' bones like the little ol' woman who lived in a shoe if you keep eating tofu."

"The little ol' lady who lived in a shoe?"

Cyborg reached for the Mayo, "Yeah. There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. Just skin n' bones, face white as glue..."

Beast Boy tried to comprehend the twisted nursery rhyme.

Cyborg started to glomp the Mayo onto his sandwich when he screamed in recognition.

"Aw MAN! It's fat-FREE mayo! Ugh that's disgusting! Everyone knows that fat-free mayonnaise is not real mayo!"

"Let me see that!" Beast Boy snatched the jar out of Cy's hands and scanned the label. He looked over to Starfire, "Star! Why the hell did you buy _this_?!"

Starfire smiled cheerfully, "Beast Boy my friend, I have watched station of Dr. Phil and he has said to an overweight woman that mayonnaise is a dangerous product. I believe he eats it himself, actually.."

Beast Boy whispered to Cy, "Explains a lot..."

Starfire continued, "So my friend, I have purchased the less dangerous fat-_free_ mayonnaise. I believe it is my duty to protect and prevent my friends to becoming obese."

Cy and BB stared at the alien. Cyborg spoke up, "It is your job to buy REGULAR, FATTY, UNHEALTHY, DANGEROUS MAYO!!!!"

Starfire seemed to shrink under Cyborg's massive voice, "May I suggest you -gulp- try it?"

Beast Boy and Cy eyed one another and sighed, "Fine. Me and Cy will try it. But only to prove that this is crap, okay?"

Cyborg huffed and muttered, "Cyborg and _I_..."

Beast Boy glared at him.

Starfire smiled brightly, "Then go on my glonkas! Do the process of engulfing nutrients into your mouths!"

Beast Boy and Cyborg lifted their sandwiches up to their mouths, tension filling the room.

And the bite was taken...

"DAMN!"

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**1 hour later..(dear lord) **

Raven walked sulkily into the kitchen. She had not gotten any sleep last night from seeing the horrific scene of bathtubs and bubbles. A good cup of herbal tea would fix that right away.

Or so she thought...

Raven opened up the kitchen door, triggering a blast of sounds.

"Oh my GOD! Low-fat man!"

"Oh man! This stuff is great!"

Beast Boy, his lips covered in an off-white goo, came up to Cyborg and Robin and stretched out his pants, "Tastes the same and my pants feel looser!"

The boys made a fist and shot their arms up in the air, chanting, "Low-fat, low-fat, low-fat, low-fat, low-fat....!!!"

Starfire was in the back round smiling, a goo-covered smile..

Raven thought she had been asking this question too much lately, "What the hell is going on.."

Beast Boy jumped in front of her, "Raven!! Star bought low-fat mayo!!! It's great!!"

Cyborg jumped next to him, sticking a foul-smelling jar of the goo right in Raven's face, "C'mon Rae! You have GOT to try it!!!"

Raven calmly pushed back the jar, "No."

Robin stopped eating, "You know guys... Now that I think of it, low-fat isn't actually better than the fat mayo.."

Cyborg and Beast Boy gasped strongly, "GASP!!!111!!"

They ran to Robin, facing him down, "Oh! So you think your too GOOD for low-fat?? Huh? Huh? Or do you think it's too good for YOU!?"

Robin narrowed his eyes, "I'm too good for it."

"GASP!!!"

Beast Boy pointed at Robin with a shaky arm, "You..take..that..back.."

Robin crossed his arms stubbornly, "No. It's icky and nasty and doesn't deserve it's own label."

Cyborg started to cry.

"Somehow I am not surprised by these events.." Raven walked across the room to stand next to Starfire. She was the only normal one besides Raven in the room.

Or so the author and Raven and the reviewers thought...

Starfire came into the middle of the argument, "There is only one way! One way to declare which mayonnaise holds all power, all goodness, all goo. A match-off!"

Beast Boy stood from consoling Cy on the ground, "Yeah!"

Cy sniffed happily in response.

Robin pointed to the door out of the Tower in his leader stance, "Titans! To the GROCERY STORE!"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The sounds of grocery cart-wheels and jars falling over was all anyone could hear in Publix when the Titans arrived.

Beast Boy and Cy were on the hunt for low-fat mayonnaise while Robin and Star were set out to find fat mayonnaise.

Raven was somewhere in the mist of all of this. Not really sure of where to go. There's only so much places you can go to in a Publix store...

"I GOT 'EM!"

"US TOO!"

Raven covered her eyes as the two groups seemed to be meeting in the middle of the store, right where she was. When the dust settled, Raven looked up to see one side where a cart was full of low-fat mayo and one side where a cart was filled with fat mayo.

Robin narrowed his eyes at Cy and BB. BB and Cy narrowed their eyes at Robin.

"Let the war of Low-fat and Fat be ended once and for all. Let the true Mayo win."

Robin put a hand on the lid of one of his jars, "Gentlemen, you know the rules. First side to throw-up loses. On your lids! Twist! Open! EAT!!"

Raven glanced nervously at Starfire, "They're doing this right in the middle of the STORE!?"

And the war was on. Who would win? Who would lose their dignity? Who will toss their cookies first? When will I get tired of writing Mayonnaise and Fat-Free!?

Robin was alone but seemed to have more will-power than the others. His stomach was hard as stone and could take the pressure of goo building up inside it.

He seemed to take on animal characteristics as he savagely tore open all of the jars, put the Mayo in a pile and glomp down on it.

Beast Boy and Cyborg seemed to have the advantage here. They had two men and they were digesting less fat so it was almost like less food. Cyborg took the liberty of getting a straw and sucking the mayo as BB took piles of it in his hands and stuffed it in his face.

Ew..

The battle continued for 45 minutes when at last..a surrender was shouted out.

No one could see who it was from the big, huge pile of mayonnaise that covered half the store.

"QUITTING...oh..oh God..I feel a hurl coming on.."

A victory shout was let out. And this concluded who was the winner.

"I DID IT!! I DID IT!! I- oh..oh...sweet mother of batman..."

Raven cover her mouth as her face turned green, "This is so sick.."

Starfire nodded, "Yes.. And just imagine, we will have to clean them up!"

Raven fell down comically with swirly eyes.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x--x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x—x-x-x-x-x-x--x-x-x--x-x- x

' "Oh my sweet Robin... Where does it hurt?"

Robin rubbed his swollen stomach, "Do I need to answer that question??"

Well, it was recovery day at T Tower. The Mayo-Match-Off was in the paper, including a nice snap-shot of Robin and Dr. Phil together.

But the war was over! No more fights and outbreaks of mobs and riots fighting over fat-free and fat. The eternity war...is over.'

The news reporter turned to a pale Robin, "Sir! How does it feel to win the match off of Mayo and cause the dignity loss of your friends?"

Robin looked straight into the camera, "Fat-Free Mayo...is not REAL mayonnaise... FATTYNESS RULES AND PWNS YOU ALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!"

* * *

A/N; Eh...not one of my better chapters. Sorry for the suckiness. I had loads of hw and that can take the funny right out of you.

I have a longer and funnier chapter coming up though! It will make up for this!

_Jock-Strap Wonders! _

Sound clip: "Robin? What is this piece of material with a big..cup-looking shape?" Starfire takes the _jock-strap_ and ties it around her nose, "Perhaps it is a...nose hat?"

Please read and review. My jar of mayo will glomp you all if you don't!! j/p!


	4. Jockstrap Wonders!

**Raidersrule76-** Wow thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed that chapter!

**Corza12002-** And VOILA! Bath Salts was the chapter! Haha. Thank you for enjoying 'The Mighty Definition'!

**Jadedea-** Thank you! I try to update as soon as possible.

**RavenOnline-** Glad it wasn't sucky like I thought! And **expired** mayo and mustard? Dude...

**AnnMari123-** I'm a genius??? YaY! Thanks!

**Magicstar909-** Thank you, oh thank you.

**RenegadeMustang- **Hah, Ube? That's just something I made up. My inspiration was from the word uber-cool. If you don't know what that means, it means 'super-cool'. My friends and I have claimed that definition true.

**renayumi04-** Thanks!

**Emmery-** Hah, happy you like the 'Mayo War'! Margarine and butter? Not as bad as expired crap! Sounds like that Christmas was a super-fun night! Were the bathrooms occupied? ;) And Fat mayo TOTALLY kicks ass!

**Cheese- **(psst..I like your username..) HeeHee. I enjoy imagining Robin in pink. Thanks!

**Liljimmyurine-** ...interesting username.. I do admit that I have an obsession with Mayo but hey, who doesn't? ;) Nothing wrong with a healthy obsession. Thanks.

**ROFL-** Yes, Raven has been taking a beating with the other Titans crap. When will she get her turn? Right when I read your suggestion I immediately wanted to do it! So, you'll be seeing it in this story in the chapters to come. I'll give you credit, don't worry!

Well, I'm relieved that Fat-Free Mayo was pretty much a hit and was NOT sucky. Thanks for all the reviews my...reviewers..

Now, whenever I think of Robin, I think of bubbles.. This chapter shall prove that!

The chapter of Jock-Straps is up!! Now, all of you (hopefully) know what a jockstrap is. If not, it's something guys (only _guys_) put on when playing football, etc. to protect their family jewels.. SO! Without further or due, here is....

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 4: _Jockstrap Wonders_

Starfire peered through the open Laundry Room door to see Robin loading in the dirty clothes. She smiled happily and bounded over.

"Robin! My friend of bubbles and tutus! Do you need assistance with our filthy fabrics?"

Robin cringed at her bubbles and tutus comment, "Sure Star. You can take this clean basket of laundry to my door."

Starfire grabbed it and ran down the hall, smiling at her deed.

When she rounded the corner to Robin's room, she set the basket down at his door. Just as she was told to do. But, her curious hormones wanted to search through his laundry.

The question still needed to be answered.

Tighty-Wightys, Boxers or Briefs?

Starfire forgot all about privacy rules and dove into the basket.

"Wait.. What..is this?"

Starfire came up with a pair of tighty-wightys on her head. _That_ question had been answered.. Starfire held up a cup-looking shape that was hard with a bungee strap that wrapped around it.

Starfire cocked her head to one side, trying to figure out what this device was. Unknown to her, it was a jockstrap _and _had previously been near Robin's...yeah..

"What could it be?? Why would Robin own one of...these?"

Starfire took the tighty-wightys off her head and searched for Raven.

X0x0

"Raven? I need a bit of assistance.. I found this in Robin's basket of laundry," She held up the jockstrap, "What is this peculiar object?"

Raven stared at her with big round saucers. She finally shook her head and yelled, "Hey Beast boy! Where's the Excedrin P.M.?!"

Starfire took this as a sign that Raven did not know what the object was. She left the room quietly as Raven raced through the cabinets of the kitchen searching for Excedrin PM...

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

Robin whistled happily while he folded laundry and dumped more dirty stuff into the machine. Doing laundry really helped him to relax, besides bubble baths. But you can't do bubble baths too often or the other Titans would suspect something odd.

Robin finished loading another batch of clothes into the washer machine. He was putting the Snuggles detergent (_with_ the easy-pour spout!) when Beast Boy called from the kitchen.

"Hey Snuggles! Where's the Excedrin PM?"

Robin turned his head in the direction of the kitchen, still pouring the detergent in, "First of all, I am NOT Snuggles! Second, why??"

Beast Boy sounded annoyed as he shouted back, "Just get your ass in here!!"

Robin mumbled under his breath, "Little green midget..thinks he can call me, Robin, Snuggles..though it is a pretty nice name..need PM why? No he don't tell me, he just says to haul my ass in there...little grass stain...bosses me around..."

Robin left the washer machine and went into the kitchen.

And there stood the Snuggles container, empty. And the machine, overflowing with bubbles...

X0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

Cyborg entered the TV room where Raven was dozing on the couch in a deep sleep. He smiled mischievously. There's only one thing to do with a deep sleeping Raven...

"Hey BB! Come here for a sec!"

Beast Boy rushed in and stood by Cy's side, "What's up?"

Cyborg pointed toward Raven, "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

A mischievous grin slowly formed on Beast Boy's face as he realized the possibilities, "Oh yeah.."

Cyborg beamed brightly, "I'll go fetch the permanent marker!"

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

Robin made his way back to the washing machine. A little bit confused as to why Raven needed that drug. He shrugged it off and was about to turn around to look at the machine when Starfire bounded over.

"Robin! I have found you! I have searched through your laundry basket and found these..."

She held up the jockstrap to Robin's face expectantly.

Robin's eyes widened as he saw what Starfire was holding.

Starfire continued to talk on about the object with her head cocked to one side, " Robin? What is this piece of material with a big...cup-looking shape?" Starfire took the _jockstrap_ and tied it around her nose, "Perhaps it is a...nose hat?"

Robin's mouth dropped to the floor as Starfire pranced around with his strap around her nose.

"It must be! It makes your nose pretty!"

Robin reached out and grabbed Star's arm, "Star..that's..not what it is.."

Starfire put a finger to her mouth in puzzlement, "Then what is it Robin?"

Robin turned a deep magenta, "Well...you see...it's a..a.."

"ROBIN!!"

Robin looked up to see Starfire pointing toward the washing machine behind him.

Robin turned and screamed....a high scream..

The machine was over-flowing with soap bubbles and started making a huge mountain.

Robin tried to pop the bubbles but it seemed to make it more angry.

Starfire ran over with the jockstrap, "I will help!"

She took the cup side and started scooping the bubbles out of the way to Robin. Who was being suffocated by...bubbles..

Who would have thought?

X0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"You are **so** dead, man.."

Cyborg covered his face with his hands shamefully.

Beast Boy stood back with the permanent marker and stared at what he had done.

On Raven's perfect face was a big, huge.....

..splotch.. (thought I was gonna say penis weren't you??)

Beast Boy had attempted to draw bunny whiskers and nose but messed up horribly. A big, ugly splotch covered Raven's left cheek to right nostril. What a sight it was.

Beast Boy went over to her again with the marker, "Maybe we can fix it..."

He tried to rub the marker off but it just spread more.

Cyborg started to panic, "You might as well have drawn a penis!!!"

Beast Boy studied the splotch, "We may be able to get away with that...if we just put a bit of a dip here..."

Cyborg dove and grabbed the marker out of the green guy's hand.

"Dude! When I said _'Might as well have'_ that means that the thing that you might as well have done is actually badder than what you did draw which was already...bad."

Beast Boy stood and stared at the cybernetic teen. He finally shrugged, "I have no idea what you just said man.. But I do know that we have to cover this up somehow.."

Cyborg snapped his fingers, getting an idea, "We could put make-up on her! Opera does it all the time!"

"Opera, man?"

Cyborg zipped his lip shut and hurried toward Starfire's room. The make-up haven..

x0x0x

He entered and almost suffocated at the perfume smell. Actually he did as he crawled on the floor where cleaner air would probably be. (Learned that at a fire-teaching-thing in 1st grade. Stay in school kids..) His eyes squinted and watered up at the stench of _Curious_. He took a big gulp of air and held his breath for dear life.

He waddled over to Star's dresser and searched it's contents. He gathered as much make-up as he could in his arms and made a one-way trip to the door.

He tried to turn the knob but it wouldn't open. Cyborg squeaked in his closed mouth.

He tried once more. Still wouldn't budge.

Cyborg dropped all the make-up and heaved himself at Starfire's pink door in desperation. He couldn't hold his breath much longer as he turned a shade of purple.

Cyborg jingled the door knob once more until he ran out of air. He coughed and sputtered until he figured out his problem.

He was turning the knob the wrong way.

X0x0x00x0x0x00x0x0x0x0x0xx0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

Cyborg came panting over to Beast Boy and the still sleeping Raven.

"Got..the...makeup..."

He collapsed onto the ground.

Beast Boy eyed Cyborg and then turned his head to the hall, "Did Starfire watch National Treasure?"

Cyborg got up warily, "No..QVC.."

Beast Boy shook his head and returned to the task at hand.

"Ok, we got the makeup. Here you go Cy. Make her...decent."

Cyborg waved his hands in front of him, "No way man, I went into WW_III_. You do the makeup. You did _this _to her!"

Beast Boy sighed and took out a bottle named cover-up.

The...not so healing process began.

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0xx0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Star...fire!"

Robin was drowning in the bubbles. Starfire tried to swim as fast as she could with the jockstrap. More like scooping her way over.

"Robin! Hold on my friend! I am coming!"

Robin tried to keep afloat but the bubbles were too numerous! He tried grabbing onto the washer machine but realized that would be even worse. It was the maker of EVIL bubbles!

Robin thought back to his childhood. He loved to blow bubbles, make bubbles, play with bubbles... Why had they turned on him?? Robin began to sink.

Starfire knew that there was only one thing to do.

"S.S. Starfire Cruise Line! Dive! Dive!! DIVE!!"

Under the bubbles, she could see nothing. Just the soapy..soapiness.

She reached out blindly for Robin. She quickened her tip-toed steps for she was losing precious time.

Starfire came back up for air and cried out, "I have LOST him!! Just like the woman in TITANIC! I let him freeze in the evil bubble PLACE!"

Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven came into the doorway.

"Oh..my God.."

Starfire turned to her friends and pointed towards a particular large mound of bubbles, "Robin-!"

Then she stopped and looked at Raven's face. A big _gray_ splotch was practically all the way across her _beige _face. Her _blue_ eyelids batted bewilderedly, and her _red _lips were pursed.

Starfire made a face, "R-Raven? What..happened to your..face?"

Raven raised her eyebrow, "What's wrong with it?"

"It is..", Starfire looked to the boys who were waving their handing frantically and making the 'quiet, shh' sign, "It is...nice."

Raven smiled a little, "Thanks." Unaware that she looked like Bobo The Clown...

Starfire clicked back into reality and pointed her hand towards the mound, "Robin! He is trapped in the EVIL bubbles! We must help!"

Cyborg and BB faced each other with laughing smiles, "No, we need to GET A CAMERA!"

They ran out of the room, leaving Star and Rae to fend for themselves.

Raven eyed the object in Starfire's hand, "Oh my God... That's not.."

Starfire smiled, "The nose-hat? Why yes it is!"

Raven rolled her eyes.

She used her powers to make the bubbles turn into water, leaving a flooded laundry room...and a bubbly, soaked Robin..

Cy and BB returned with a video camera, "Smile Robin! You're on CANDID CAMERA!!!"

* * *

"This one is the best! Let's send this one out!"

Cyborg held a picture of Robin that he captured from the video camera.

Robin (in the picture) was sitting on the tiled floor, legs spread out, eyes wide as dinner plates and his hair full of bubbles.

Beast Boy took the picture and placed it on the copier, making 100 copies.

Robin came up behind them, "Oh c'mon guys! Please don't send them out in the paper.."

Cyborg smiled, "We weren't..but thanks for the idea.. Hey BB, we need to go down to Jump City Gazette Office."

Starfire came into view with a jockstrap tied to her...lower area. Let's just say it was in the right place..

"Friends! I wish to propose a... football game?"

Robin hid his head in his hands while Cy and BB laughed hysterically.

Starfire was puzzled, "Football is funny?"

Cyborg said the explanation between breaths, "N-No..It's..it's that your..your wearing a! Hahaha! A _JOCKSTRAP!!_"

Starfire still looked perplexed, "A..strap of jocks? Robin what is this strap of jocks?"

Robin shamefully handed her Webster's Dictionary.

Starfire flipped through it.

"Ah! Here it is! A jockstrap is a support or protection for the male- oh.."

A scream a terror was heard throughout the Tower.

"BEAST BOY!!! CYBORG!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY FACE!!!???"

Cyborg eyed BB calmly, "Care to go to the Gazette Office now?"

"Surly."

And they ran like the wind.

**In The Newspaper The Next Day..(hehe) **

"Hah! Cyborg! Look! It's our picture!! Haha!"

"Let me see!" Cy grabbed the paper and burst out laughing.

'_Titans leader, Robin, seems to be a little washed up. The bubbles do add a nice touch. What he was doing? Why there's a wet spot in his..area? I really don't want to know.._ _But you can only guess..'_

* * *

A/N: This chapter was more about the washer machine accident than the jockstrap. There's only so many jokes you can do with a 'strap of jocks'.

You guys get to pick the next chapter! (YaY!)

Either:

_ChatRooms!! OMFG!!111!!!!oneone _

Sound clip: You have enter chat room: OMFG were in the CHAT ROOM! PWNS! 8B

or..

_You've Got Porn! Oops... _(and that is why this story is rated pg-13..)

Sound Clip: "What is that on her ankle??" "Her ankle is what your watching?!" "I am confused..the box clearly said, "The Vamper Slayer.." Cyborg held up the video box, "Star it says the Vampire _LAYER!!_"

Up to you!

Please read and review or I will unleash EVIL bubbles!! Eheh..


	5. You've Got Porn! Oops

**Raidersrule76-** O.O ... Ok.. It's funny..I get it.. You've Got Porn! Oops is the next chappie!

**Corza12002-**Um... ok?

**L.O.D- **Thank you!

**Jadedea- **Wow thanks. I don't know how I come up with the chapter ideas. Probably from watching _Friends_ and other funny sitcoms and from real-life experiences. (But not the porn one! LolWell okay fine. I did! Happy now?!)I'm doing You've Got Porn! Oops.. For you and everyone else who reviewed saying they wanted it.

**ROFL-** Not inappropriate at all! I'll think about that one. And with Starfire's naivety...I believe the Jockstrap story could really happen...

**The-Infamous-Bounty-Hunter - **Thanks. I do get a lot of inspiration from _Friends_. Like in chapter 2 with the Bath Salts. I will have to put a Disclaimer in this chapter...cause I don't own a single evil bubble..

Well, everybody wanted Porn... I wonder why... ;) Here's your chapter!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything okay?!?!? Sue me for all I care! I don't own _Friends_'s idea of Buffay The Vampire Layer. Even though I cut out Buffay...

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 5: _You've Got Porn! Oops.. _

Ah movies. Such a simple concept, ya know? You go to either the funnies, the action, the thrills, the chills... But, for some people, it's a bit.. Hard.

"What movie oh what movie?"

Starfire peered down each row of movies and games. Her eyes lit up from a certain movie cover.

"Remember The Titans??? We have a movie!! But...why did Denzel Washington star in it?? Is he the creator of us all??"

Starfire put back the movie case, thinking the other Titans saw the movie about themselves...

She went over to the Horror section next.

"Oooohh...Wrong Turn! What turn was wrong??" Starfire looked from side to side thinking someone would pop out and tell her. She turned back to the movie case, "I must find out!!!"

Starfire put the case in her K-Mart cart..

She went over to the Dun dun DUN!!!! Playboy section..

Starfire beamed as she saw the cover which consisted of a bunny in a bow tie (the bunny who haunts us all). She squealed in satisfaction and looked at the title,

"The Vampire_..Slayer_??" She smiled. Anything with bunnies would do.

0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

Beast Boy looked at the clock in desperation.

"I told you we shouldn't have let Starfire go out and pick the movie!! She probably got that documentary on condoms!"

Robin seemed to perk up at the condom comment. He would make his move tonight!

Cyborg came over with popcorn, "That movie wouldn't be so bad actually. We can finally show Robin what part he plays in sex!"

Beast Boy whispered loud enough for Robin to hear, "He has been confused for awhile too."

Both laughed like idiots until a monotone voice came into the room.

"Has anyone seen a package addressed to me?"

Robin slung an arm over the couch, "What did it look like?"

Raven sweat-dropped, "Like a brown box Robin.."

She continued, "I sent an order out and I was supposed to get the package five days ago."

Cy questioned her, "What was in it?"

Raven blushed deeply, "N-None of your business."

Beast wiggled his eye brows up and down in a false-sexy move, "Was there anything, oh I don't know..._dirty_?"

Raven smacked him, "No there wasn't you pervert!"

Cyborg stepped in, "So why can't you tell us??"

Raven sighed, clearly annoyed, "'Cause it's...personal.."

Beast Boy and Cyborg looked at each other in recognition.

"Oh shit.."

Cyborg spoke slowly, "It didn't happen to have..fabrics in it..did it?"

It was Raven's turn to speak slowly, "Yeah...why?"

Beast Boy coughed, " Cy can I see you in the hall for a moment!"

Cy and BB ran out into the hall.

Raven looked back at them and said to Robin, "Only God knows what their doing behind that wall..."

Robin took a hand full of popcorn, "I don't even want to know.. My imagination is all I need.."

**Out In The Hall... **

"Man we are so dead!"

Beast Boy sighed, "I know, I know..."

Cyborg continued hyperventilate, "Why oh WHY did we use those thongs as sling-shots in stankball????"

Beast Boy spoke up, "Why are we so nervous? We have her thongs! We can use them against her!"

Cyborg smiled evilly, " We can mess with her mind!"

"Yeah!"

Cyborg continued, "We can embarrass her beyond no belief!"

"Yeah!"

Cyborg was on a rampage, "We can get Robin to dress up in them!!"

"YEAH! Wait.."

Cyborg started to drool, "We can get Raven and Robin together and have them were the thongs and take digital photographs!!"

"Uh..Cy?"

Cyborg got a crazy look in his eyes, "WE can wear the-!"

Beast Boy put a hand over his mouth, "NO!"

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Friends! I have returned with a movie to view and discuss!"

Cyborg looked at his digital clock, " 'Bout time Star! It's 12:00 midnight!"

Starfire beamed, "I am sorry friends but I had to discover a movie for all of our needs!"

She slipped in the video, turned off the lights and settled back on the couch next to Robin.

Theme music started to play and a very sexy girl showed up on screen with a dagger.

"_I'm Auntie TaTa. Let me take you on a journey full of magic and sex. You won't ever be able to get over me..but you can get under me.." _

Beast Boy watched with wide eyes as he saw the girl's bikini get stripped off by a naked vampire, "Yeah Star. This fulfills ALL of MY needs.."

_The vampire came closer to Auntie TaTa, "Aren't you going to plunge you dagger into my dark places?" Auntie TaTa moved her body against his, "I was hoping it'd be the..other way...around.." _

Cyborg spoke up, "They copyrighted from _Friends_!How dare they!!"

Raven rolled her eyes, "Yeah Cy, that's the part to focus on.."

Beast Boy turned to Raven, "Doesn't this movie make you want to strip down into something more..skimpy?"

Raven's eyes widened, trying to avoid seeing the vampire's manhood on screen, "What the hell are you talking about?!?"

"_Oooo...ahh..ah ah! Oh faster, faster! Harder oh baby harder!!" _

Robin closed his eyes, "Oh the humanity! Oh the nakedness!"

Cyborg squinted at the tattoo on Auntie TaTa's ankle, "What's that on her ankle?"

Beast Boy stared at the screen, "Her ankle is what you're watching?!?"

Starfire looked at the screen perplexed, " I am confused...the box clearly said, "The Vampire Slayer".."

Cyborg held up the video box, "Star! It says The Vampire _LAYER!!_"

Beast Boy continued to pester Raven, "Doesn't that thong strewn across the floor remind you of something??"

Raven's eyes widened more, "You...you didn't..."

_The vampire disappeared in a poof of smoke, leaving Auntie TaTa on the floor, "Who did this incredible sex to me?" _

"I DID!"

All eyes turned to Beast Boy.

Beast Boy turned red, "No! I didn't do _that_ to her!! I just found Raven's thongs that she ordered and Cy and I used them as sling-shots for stankball!!"

Cyborg leaned over to BB, "I don't think that helped much..."

"You WHAT?!??"

Beast Boy darted his eyes from side to side, "Uh..um...Robin wears your thongs!!"

Robin's eyes widened, "I do NOT!"

Beast Boy pleaded to Raven, "I just made up that story because Robin told me that he didn't want anyone to know that he DID wear your thongs."

"I DON'T!"

Beast Boy shook his head shamefully, "Denial is such an ugly thing."

Raven was still trying to recover from hearing what Robin did.

Robin stood up angrily, "I do NOT wear Raven's thongs guys!!"

Cyborg reached for the bowl of popcorn, "Sorry man, we're gonna need proof...."

Robin looked at the others, exasperating, " You really think I'm going to take off my pants just to show you guys that I don't wear a thong??!!"

_Auntie TaTa was with yet another vampire, "Do it...Do it BABY!" _

Starefire stood up next Robin and bowed, "I will take the honor of pulling down your spandex pants."

Without warning Starfire stripped off Robin's pants to reveal a horrible sight...

Beast boy and Cyborg and Raven AND even Starfire uttered only two words..

"Holy crap..."

Beast Boy froze with a hand full of popcorn, "We..we were only kidding about the thong thing.."

Raven nearly fainted, "Oh...my...God.. You..you can keep that one.."

"_Oh Baby!! Oh! Caress my ass now! I want your lips on me NOW!!" _

Starfire stepped away from Robin, "I.. Words do not describe what I see or feel right now.

Cyborg was treated for shock...

"_Keep going my evil one! Torture me with your throbbing pe-!"_

Beast Boy clicked off the movie, "Thaaaat's enough.."

"We got our own porno movie right here.."

Robin quickly pulled up his pants, "I'm going to.... go to my room!"

Robin ran out of the TV room, leaving the shocked Titans in his wake.

Beast Boy settled back on the couch, "Sooo...Starfire.. Did you get any other movies?"

Starfire handed him the movie case of Wrong Turn, "I believe this one is scary."

Raven tried to rid her mind of that frightful image, "Like what we just saw wasn't scary!?"

Starfire popped in the other video and the Titans watched.

Beast Boy poked Cy in the ribs, "Robin's watching Playgirl isn't he?"

"Yep."

* * *

A/N: I'll leave you guys to figure out what Robin was wearing.. ;) 

Next chapter is OMFG CHATROOMS! (Changed the name a bit)  
Sound clip: You have entered chatroom: OMFG were in a CHATROOM! PWNS!! 8B

I enjoyed making up the Titans screen names...heehee...


	6. OMFG! CHATROOMS!

**Raidersrule76- **-game show voice- You are correct! Hah, thanks. And no, you're not perverted (thankfully) ;)

**corza12002- **God, I wish I was! I'd love to get into acting and comedy but I just need to find a place where I can do some of my sketches... But thanks!!

**Dancingirl3- **DON'T KILL ME!! You'll see what happens. Psst..the chapter is Eerbody In Da Club Gettin Tipsy... You didn't hear it from me!! Thank you for the review!

**Jadedea- **Thanks! Yes, Robin has been the butt of pretty much all of the jokes. Save a few. I am trying with all my will-power to lay off him but I just can't do it... Oh well!

**Emmery-** Thanks so much! Ha! Pulling Robin's pants down... what an interesting image..

**Ebony Sorceress- **NO ZAPPEH DEMON OTTERZ!!! NO!!! Meh.. Anyway, thanks! I do a lot of dialogue jokes too.

**ROFL- **Thank you for your 3 wonderful NOT AT ALL THE SAME reviews. Lol. I love guessing games, so you're gonna being guessing the obvious a lot in this story.. Huh, ALMOST all of the Titans in character.. Hah! Robin..I know.. It's just more fun writing him as a gay guy in love with Starfire.. Yet another interesting concept..

**raven-rocks-the-dark - **Thanks a bunch!

Okay peoples! This chapter is going to have a AIM Chat Room layout. So, that means no real story plot layout, kk? Gah, I confused myself.. Just..just read the thing..

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 6: _OMFG!! CHATROOMS!!! _

You have just entered Chat Room: OMFG!! WE"RE IN A CHATROOM!!! PWNS!! 8D

IamNOTGhey: Hey Titans!

HelpMePlease: Oh my God.. Why are we doing this stupid chat thing again? Can't just talk to each other like NORMAL people do?

IamNOTGhey: Oh come on Raven! It's fun!

CYclops: Hey y'all! Hmm.. I wonder who IamNOTGhey is.. -snicker-

IamNOTGhey: Cy....

IamNOTGhey: We had a long discussion about this gay thing and I am telling you as your leader: Please don't tell Starfire!!

HelpMePlease: And there goes our leader..

MustardQueen: Tell me what, Robin?

TehHulk: This is gonna be good..

CYclops: TehHulk? ..._Really_?

TehHulk: u know it's a cool name and u know it!

HelpMePlease: My user name speaks for it's self..

IamNOTGhey: Nothing Star!

MustardQueen: Perhaps a.. Surprise party??!!

IamNOTGhey: Yeah, Starfire..a surprise party!

X0x0x

-IamNOTGhey opens up an IM box to HelpMePlease-

IamNOTGhey: Raven! What do I do??? I can't plan a surprise party in...when's her birthday again?

HelpMePlease: According to Starfire: the second day of the second year on the second glondorf.

IamNOTGhey: Um..

HelpMePlease: Good luck...

-HelpMePlease exits the IM box and returns to chat-

x0x0x

TehHulk: And that's how babies are made Star..

HelpMePlease: Do I want to know what was going on in here..?

CYclops: Star asked where babies come from...oh the humanity it was..

HelpmePlease: I can imagine.

MustardQueen: But friend Beastboy! What is the machine for??

TehHulk: Um..Cy?

CYclops: Um..it's for um.. Robin?

IamNOTGhey: Star it's simple! You see...um..uh Raven?

HelpMePlease: A man and a woman have sex together.

CYclops: And here we go..

MustardQueen: Robin? What is sex?

TehHulk: Good thing this is over AIM, huh Rob? LOL

IamNOTGhey: Uh..Star..it's when two people love each other very much and..

MustardQueen: Oh! Like you and Hugh Grant?

IamNOTGhey: No! No Star, not like that.. And um.. You have a garden and I have a hose and..um..I use my hose to water your seeds in your garden. And um..

TehHulk: Hey Robin! What about fertilizer! Haha!

CYclops: Hah! Good one man!

IamNOTGhey: ANYWAY! I use my hose to water the seeds in your garden and they grow into ... um.. Babies..

MustardQueen: Oh! I see! Oh Robin..will you hose my garden for me?

IamNOTGhey: Um I uh..let's talk about later Star..ALONE

CYclops: No, no.. Here is fine! We don't mind do we?

TehHulk: Not at all!

HelpMePlease: I would particularly enjoy it..

-silence for 20 seconds-

CYclops: Who's up for a good game of Kerplunk?

TehHulk: Who's Hugh Grant?

HelpMePlease: He starred in Mickey Blue Eyes, remember?

TehHulk: Ooooh.. EW! Robin! You LIKE that guy??!!?????

IAMGhey: NO!! See the screen name!!????

CYclops: Hahahaha!!! Yea I do!!

IAMGhey: Gah! Who changed it?????

HelpMePlease: That would be me.

IAMGhey: How!!??

HelpMePlease: It isn't THAT hard to figure out your password: Hugh Grant

IAMGhey: -GASP!!!!- How DARE you!

HelpMePlease: Would you like me to change it?

IAMGhey: What do you think???!!!

HelpMePlease: Fine.

X0x0

-HelpMePlease opens up an IM box to TehHulk-

HelpMePlease: Beast Boy..

HelpMePlease: Change his screen name

TehHulk: Like what?

HelpMePlease: Use your imagination...

-HelpMePlease closes IM box and re-enters chat room-

x0x0x

CYclops: So...anyone catch that Opera episode?

TehHulk: Um..no Cy..just..no..

IheartHUGH: I can't believe you watch Opera Cy!

IheartHUGH: OMFG!! Who the hell changed my screen name???????? !!

HelpMePlease: It's Oprah you fools..

IheartHUGH: Raven..........

HelpMePlease: Wasn't me this time...

IheartHUGH: Beast Boy...

TehHulk: Yeeeees...?

IheartHugh: You didn't..

TehHulk: Clearly I did!

MustardQueen: I think it is wonderful Robin! It shows your love for Hugh Grant like never before!

IheartHUGH: I don't love HUGH GRANT!!!

MustardQueen: But... your name of the screen says that you do..

IheartHUGH: Beast Boy made it!

MustardQueen: Aw.. Beast Boy! I did not know the knowledge that you had feelings for Hugh Grant! This is wonderful! I shall make Pudding after this "chat"!

TehHulk: What!!? I don't like Hugh Grant!!!

HelpmePlease: Well, then why did you make Robin's screen name that?

CYclops: Yea BB! Hugh CLEARLY was in your mind because you love him!

TehHulk: WHAT?!?

IheartHUGH: That's right BB. You love, Hugh. Just admit it!

TehHulk: Hey you wear Raven's thongs! I wouldn't be sayin I'm gay when you clearly are!

IheartHUGH: And do you have any proof?

TehHulk: DUDE! You FIRST owned a pink apron!

IheartHUGH: Hey! That was a gift!

CYclops: No it wasn't!

IheartHUGH: Shut up!

TehHulk: THEN, you have a pink TEDDY BEAR! THEN you take bubble baths!

TehHulk: Then you WEAR RAVEN'S THONG!!!

HelpMePlease: I'd say that's proof... BUT why did you change Robin's screen name to IheartHUGH? Doesn't that say that YOU "heart" him because YOU'RE the one who WROTE it?

MustardQueen: I believe it is time to say the words...um..You got TOLD

CYclops: Ma girl's learnin!

IheartHUGH: You're girl!!!!???

CYclops: Yea Robin, we sleep on the side..- rolls eyes- C'mon! Don't get like that!

MustardQueen: No one owns me!!

CYclops: It was ROBIN who said it...

IheartHUGH: No it wasn't! And can someone PLEASE change my screen name!!!???

X0x0

-TehHulk opens up an IM box to CYclops-

TehHulk: You're gonna change his screen name right?

CYclops: Yea.

-TehHulk closes IM box and returns to chat-

MustardQueen: Robin! I do not like your actions as to call me YOURS!!

PWNSTAR: Star! I don't own you! Cy started it!

HelpMePlease: Robin.. Why does your screen name say that you own Star?

PWNSTAR: NOT helping! CY!

CYclops: Yes oh FAB-ulous one? One that is CERTAINLY NOT gay??

PWNSTAR: WHY?!!

CYclops: I do not know what you are talking about oh fearless one.

PWNSTAR: VICTOR!!

CYclops: HEY! No need to name call DICK!

TehHulk: HAHA! Your name is DICK??? Man your folks must of hated you!

MustardQueen: What is this dick?

HelpMePlease: It's another name for penis as is 'One-eyed Monster', Squiggly-Scooch and others...

MustardQueen: Ah.. I see...

PWNSTAR: I wouldn't be talking about names GARFIELD!

TehHulk: -GASP- You..take that..back!!

HelpMePlease: Named after an orange cat... how interesting..

TehHulk: Well...your name is...um...

PWNSTAR: What IS your name Raven?

CYclops: Yeah?

MustardQueen: I wish to be informed.

HelpMePlease: Raven

TehHulk: Your name can't be Raven..Raven..

CYclops: How original!

HelpMePlease: anyway..

MustardQueen: What is.. Viagra?

TehHulk: Ooooh Roooobiiin!!

PWNSTAR: It enhances..things..

MustardQueen: Oh! Like what?

HelpMePlease: The family jewels..

MustardQueen: Ah! Robin, do you use it?

TehHulk: Haha!

CYclops: Of course!

PWNSTAR: And you would know this _how_ Cyborg?

CYclops: Oh no.. You're not boxing ME in!

HelpMePlease: Well..according to this chat...all the guys are gay...

* * *

A/N: This was just for fun! I had this idea and I just wanted to get it out there. Regular chapters will be back in Chap. 7. 

Also, I was on the P.C. Sunday and reviews came into my mailbox one at a time with like 4 mins. in between. Hah! I guess everyone had to let chapter 5 sink in a bit!

Your turn once again!

_Lights, Camera ACTION!  
_Sound Clip: "Are you getting anything!!??" "Wait..wait..Robin's butt is in the way.. wait..now it's his–Oh my GOD! Here Cy!" Beast Boy thrust the video camera to Cy, "You tape it!"

Or...

_Rock-a-bye Baby...  
_Sound Clip: "Now what I'm about to show you guys may frighten and disturb you but-" Robin cut in, "Raven, is Beast Boy hiding under your cloak again?"

Pwease R&R! I don't want to send Robin to your houses wearing only a thong, but if that's what I have to do then I will!


	7. Lights, Camera ACTION!

**Raidersrule76- **Thanks. They wouldn't DARE report me. They KNOW I'll send an army of Robin clones to their doors in thongs... Plus, it's just one chapter, not the whole story... Now that I think about it, I think Robin DOES have a pink apron...

**Corza12002- **Ah coffee..such a hyper-upness drink to us all... Thankies.

**Jadedea- **Thank you! Robin's points are always unheard.. Ha. Thanks a lot!

**dancingirl- **Thanks. And don't you worry, the romance shall occur soon..very soon.. ;)

**AnnMari123- **PWN or PWNS means OWN. Long ago, a person in a forum accidently hit the 'p' instead of the 'o' and that is how PWN/PWNS was born. I used PWNS but had one 'S'. I didn't like how PWNSSTAR looked... You can look up other words like these in . ((if you can't see the link, go to my profile..))

**ROFL- **Haha, thanks! And yes, it is very fun. Oh, but Robin is a master of disguises..

**Falling- **Okey dokey!

**theflamehat- **Thanks! I love your story, Amnesia, too!

**Savi- **Meh!! My favorite word! Ahaha, thanks a bunch!

**raven-rocks-the-dark - **Okey dokey -puts vote in spinny-barrel-thingy- Isn't it fun to watch them argue??

**Emmery- **HAH! That's an interesting..statement! But I'm sure that he'd love a good kidnaping. Robin is known for his enjoyment of surprises -wiggles eyebrows up and down- GAH! PAPER! IT BUUUUUURNS! -vote has been put in the spinny-barrel-thingy-

**lil-cloudiekins- **-vote has been placed into spinny-barrel-thingy- Thanks! Hah, I like your username!

**robins1fan- **Thank you! As for laying off Robin... I can't really say what I'm gonna do..

Wow, the chapters were tied, 4-4, so... I had to ask 4 random people I did not know, which one they wanted. I gave the description and everything. It was tied once more, 7-7. So.. I had to ask one more person..

Well, folks. It all comes down to this... ((even though you know what the chapter will be by looking at the chapter title on top of this page -rolls eyes- ))

-turns spinny-barrel-thingy wheel and pulls out a card-

And the winner is.... LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!!! By ONE vote!

You heard it peeps, onto the chapter!

_Putting The 'IN' Into Insanity _

Chapter 7: _Lights, Camera...ACTION!! _

Robin was taking his routine grocery shopping for the day. On the quest for green beans, squashes, carrots.. But his mind wasn't on picking up Ube-beans for Beast Boy..oh no.. It was Starfire.. He wanted to show her that he was NOT gay, but from the AIM convo two days ago...it wasn't looking too good..

Robin snatched a banana from the heap of them.

Starfire had been badgering him from doing his hair, making Short Cake..to asking him if _this_ guy was hotter or _this_ guy was. Not looking good.. As I said.

His plan? Nothing. He couldn't figure out anything to do that would make Star see he wasn't homo. All his previous plans had brutally backfired and this was almost like his last chance..

A scream pulled Robin out of his mind.

"OH MY GOD!!! IT'S ROBIN!!!"

As the big cloud of smoke from the fan girls raced towards Robin, he put a seductive smile on and straightened out his cape. Here was a good chance to make himself feel better. A rampaging crowd of **girls** _wanting_ him.

As the crowd came closer, Robin realized something in pure fright. This riot wasn't fan girls...

It was -gulp- _guys_..

"AHHHHHH!!!!"

Robin raced out the supermarket, which was actually in fact Publix, and ran away from the crowd. In his arms, he carried unpaid for banana's and Ube-beans...

"GET HIM!! HE IS OUR HOLY GAY-GUY-NESS LORD!!!"

They let out a shriek like feathered chickens and began to pace faster. Robin was in their deathly path.

In desperation, Robin began throwing the blessed Ube-beans at the fan riot. Each one landed on target but did not stop the tornado of gay.

Robin sprinted a turn and towards a brick fence and leapt over before the riot saw...which were now holding pitch-forks..

Pleasant huh?

Robin slid down the fence and breathed a sigh of relief. He made it out alive, but it had cost him something dearly..

The Ube-beans.. The blessed Ube-beans. How he would face a rampaging Beast Boy at home..

"That's okay. I'll just tell him I was walking back from the store when a big mutant squirrel jumped out and tried to slice me with it's spear and I had only the Ube-beans to protect me and so I threw them at the mutant squirrel and..and.."

A big shadow loomed over Robin's spiky-black-haired head.

"Uh-oh.."

"THERE HE IS!! HE MUST COME WITH US FOR THE GAY-GUY-NESS CEREMONY!!! ONWARD!!!"

And onward they did, right over the fence. Robin huddled in a corner, the numbers of the fans were rising, closing in with no air left to breathe...

Robin could do only one thing and he did.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

And he cried "wee, wee, wee" all the way home...

X0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x0x0x0x

Starfire looked up worriedly at the Mumbo clock, "Where is Robin? He went to the store of nutrients and food two hours ago and still has not returned.."

Beast Boy and Cy were head-to-head in a, yep...you guessed it, video game..

"Beats me.."

Cyborg paused the game, "He has been out for awhile though.."

Raven looked up from her boiling pot of tea, "Did he happen to go to the Publix center?"

Starfire clasped her hands together in fear, "Oh Raven, yes! He did! What is there? What will harm our friend, Robin??!!"

Raven's eyes got big as saucers, "Oh no.."

Beast Boy jumped over the couch headrest, over to Raven. He placed a hand on her shoulder, "What is it? Are maniac scientists going to kidnap him and put him under those big, round hair dryer things and try to send him off to the planet Drôle??? .... That'd be cool.."

Raven looked up into Beast Boy's eyes, "No..even worse.. A gang lies there behind the Publix garbage disposal.. They're called– "

" GAY!...GUY!!!..NESS....ES...GAY-GUY-NESS!! OH THE HUMANITY! OH THE PAIN.. OH THE GAYYYY!!"

All eyes turned to the front door, revealing a horrible sight.

Starfire flew over to her trembling friend, "Oh Robin!! What have they done to you!?"

Robin stood there, shivering in Starfire's arms. His hair was hair-sprayed to the point where it stood straight up, his lips were covered in red goo that was none other than..DUN dun DUNNNN... lipstick.

Robin's face was smothered in kisses, his clothes ripped. In Robin's hands he held two sacred, yet smashed, Ube-beans...

"NOOO! THE UBE-NESS OF THE BEAN!!! HOW COULD YOU???"

The rest of the 3 Titans snapped their eyes angrily toward Beast Boy, who was shortened by the intensity of the stare.

"Um..I mean.. OH ROBIN!!! You have used the sacred bean-ness to protect yourself during the brawl!! Courageous my friend! COURAGEOUS!!"

Cyborg stuck up a brow, "Brawl?"

Starfire turned toward Robin, "Oh my sweet friend.. Let us clean you up and sit you down on the so-fa. I shall then feed you homemade Shinahka!

Everyone cringed.

X0x0x

**Three bowls of Shinahka later...**

Robin sat in Starfire's lap as she fanned him.

"A-and..and I didn't know what to do..and..so..I just..threw..I threw..the..the.."

Starfire spoke gently to the unstable Robin, "The what my dear friend?"

Robin placed his hands over his eyes shamefully, " THE UBE-BEANS!!!!"

Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy stood on the other side of the room. No one wanted to go near their...interesting..leader. So..there they stood, wide-eyed and cowering.

"YOU TWO!!"

Robin pointed to Cy and BB.

"Y-Yes Robin??"

"Yeah??"

Robin's face became cold and hateful. He spoke in a grave voice, "You two..you two did this!! You two said I was..GAY! And you two are going to fix this!! I don't care if you have to sacrifice your own dignity! _I'm_ the leader! _I'm_ supposed to be like by millions of..."

Beast Boy spoke up meekly, "Girls?"

"GUYS!"

Robin slapped a hand over his mouth, then embedded his head in Starfire's shoulder, "No..no no no no no.. Star.. They're confusing me!!"

Raven eyed BB and Cy, "You guys better do something..and fast.."

Cyborg raised a brow, "Why fast?"

Raven signaled toward the window, "Because a huge sign is hanging from J.P. Harbor dock saying, "We LOVE you Robin! Love, G.G.N.."

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0xx0x0x0x0x0x

"Aww.. I was having fun insulting Robin! Do we have to prove his..innocence?"

Cyborg was leaning over a piece of blue-print paper, sketching out a plan, while Beast Boy was complaining on his other side.

"We have to man. This is Robin. He's a wreck.. Besides, we can have fun _whilst_ we do it."

Beast Boy beamed brightly, "I know what whilst means!! I looked it up! It means chiefly Brit. While!"

Cyborg stared at Beast Boy for a long time.. To the point where things were getting..weird..

"Say wha-?"

Beast Boy shook his head, "Never mind.."

Cyborg blinked twice and then returned to the blue-prints.

"Soo..what do we have so far??"

Cyborg smiled proudly at his creation. He took out a sharpie marker and pointed to the whiteboard.

"Okay. We all know that there's a special connection to Star and Rob riiight??"

Cyborg turned his back to Beast Boy, squeaking sounds coming from the board.

Cy stepped back to reveal two stick people, one with pointing black hair and another with orange locks ((really two wavy lines..)). A red heart circled around them.

Beast boy looked puzzled, "Umm..so?'

"_So_..We can use this to prove his innocence!!"

Cyborg returned to the whiteboard, " Alright, everyday at 9:00 PM, Starfire peers over at Robin, so they make eye contact. And almost every time this happens, Robin response with a little nod, so little, no one can really sense the movement. At precisely 10:00, Robin exits the room, claiming he needs to research stuff. At 10:10, Starfire exits, claiming she is tired."

Squeaking noises filled the room. They were so loud, BB had to cover his sensitive ears.

Cyborg continued his analogy, " At 11:00, Robin enters back into the room, and at 11:15, Starfire enters. If anyone is there, Starfire says she needed a glass of water and Robin says he needed to take a break."

Beast Boy leaned in closer to peer at the drawing Cyborg was making. Cyborg boomed out loud,

"BUT WHAT WAS HE TAKING A BREAK _FROM!?_"

Cyborg turned around so quickly, the changeling fell on the ground. Cyborg smirked and returned to the whiteboard.

"And so, with that, what does this all conclude??"

Beast Boy rose from the floor, rubbing his sore head, "Umm.. That you have a LOT of time on your hands?"

Cyborg huffed, "Noo... It concludes that ROBIN AND STARFIRE HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH EACH OTHER!!!!!!"

Beast Boy wrinkled his nose, "Sexual intercourse??"

Cyborg turned around quickly once again and revealed a _revealing_ picture, "SEX!"

"OH MY GOD!" Beast Boy covered his face when the picture was in sight.

Cyborg erased the board and put a little one on it.

"So, we have to somehow_ tape_ it without them knowing it. The question is, how?"

Beast Boy tapped his chin in mock thought.

Cyborg sighed, frustrated with his "pupil", " Fine. First, we need to get a hold of a camera then-"

"What happened to ours?"

Cyborg face darkened, "Remember? Starfire flushed it down the toilet when she thought it was a 'mini-cyclops'.."

Beast Boy's face filled with laughter as he smiled in recognition, " Oh yeah! Haha! That was funny... Oh my God! You were cursing so much that Raven had to seal your mouth with a bubble thingie and Starfire was asking what- "

"ANYWAY!"

Cyborg wrote a little number two on the board, " We sneak out of the room after Robin's gone and somehow get into Starfire's room. We'll do this by- "

Beast Boy raised his hand, like he was a student, "How do you know they _do it_ in Star's room?"

Cyborg smiled, "_Because_ Robin likes pink...remember?"

Beast Boy laughed, "Oh yeah!"

"So, we'll get into Star's room before her when we excuse ourselves from the room _one at a time_ and get in there. I'll scale the side of the Tower and break in and you'll change into a gnat or something and go beneath the crack of her door. Robin will probably be waiting outside, so we'll have to be extra quiet."

Cyborg wrote a little three, "THEN, we'll tape them having sex, put it on the internet and BAM! Problem solved."

Beast Boy eyed Cyborg in shock, "And you planned this in 3 minutes.. What were you doing? _Waiting _for an opportunity like this to happen?"

Cyborg twiddled his thumbs.

"Maybe..."

0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0

Now, just to let everyone know, James Bond and the Teen Titans don't really mix. So, it comes to no surprise that when Beast Boy and Cyborg came into the room with black sunglasses on, people got suspicious...

"What are you two imbeciles doing?"

Beast Boy tried to hide a little envelope with the words 'CONFIDENTIAL' written in red on it.

Raven rolled her eyes, grabbed it and opened it. And there it was.. The _picture_...

"Oh my God!! What the hell is wrong with you??" Raven shoved the envelope back into Beast Boy's clutches.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but that information is confidential..CYBORG!"

Cyborg rushed over and saluted BB, "Yes BB Buns?"

Beast Boy lowered his sunglasses angrily, "It's BONDS!"

Raven blinked, confused.

Beast Boy straightened himself up, "Ahem.. Anyway.. Cyborg, Raven has saw the confidential information! We must do something! She must not let on to the targets!"

Cyborg slapped his hand to his forehead, "And that is why we DON'T carry around confidential information!" Cyborg flicked Beast Boy on the head as punishment and took the info out of his hands.

"Raven...you know that we have to prove Rob's innocence..right?"

Raven huffed, "Is THAT what that dreadful picture is about???"

Beast Boy laughed nervously, "Heh, no that was just a preview of what we're going to do!"

Raven stared at him with wide eyes, "So you're telling me that your going to do what's in that picture to Robin...Are you trying to prove his innocence or lose yours?"

Cyborg sighed, "We're gonna tape them having..you know..and put it on the Net. And..since you saw it, you're gonna have to swear to us you won't tell Rob and Star. Also, you gotta help us with it."

Raven boomed, "WHAT?!? I have to help you do _THIS??!_"

Beast Boy pleaded with her, "C'mon Rae! It'll be fun...in a disgusting and violating way.. BUT! I'll get you some cool sunglasses!"

Raven sighed, clearly annoyed and torn. As much as she wanted to help out Robin, she _really_ didn't want to do the plan that BB and Cy were thinking. Come on! Who would? ((looks at the perverts on the other side of the room))

"Guys..please..don't-"

"PLEASE?????????????????"

Raven looked into their pleading eyes and sighed...

"Fine."

The guys smiled angelically as Raven walked away glumly. How could she give in like that? Who knows..

Seriously, what's an Azarathian to do??

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

**8:58 PM**

Beast Boy made eye-contact with Cyborg, Cyborg nodded. Beast Boy made eye-contact with Raven, she sighed yet still nodded.

Beast Boy nodded back at them and looked to Starfire. She sat there innocently watching Will & Grace, wondering why Karen was fixing Grace's breasts...

**8:59 PM **

Cyborg had a trickle of sweat beads run down his chocolate bald head. It was almost time. They were really going to do this!

**9:00 PM **

And there it was... The peering eyes, the nod... It was all coming together!!

**10:00 PM**

"Guys, I'm gonna go to my room and do some research. We haven't got a call for awhile..."

Beast Boy almost stood up and said, "That's what you WANT us to think!!" But Cyborg held him down and clamped the changeling's mouth shut.

Starfire smiled, "Okay Robin. We shall miss you.."

Raven rolled her eyes, knowing their secret ways.

**10:02 PM **

Cyborg twiddled his thumbs and turned away from the tube where Grace and Will were talking about cheese.

"Well, I'm gonna go... See ya guys in the morning!" Cyborg walked out of the room a bit too fast.

Raven shut her eyes and put a hand to her head, "Let's hope he doesn't go into full-time detective..."

**10:03 PM ... **

Beast Boy stood from his seat quickly, "I'm gonna...um...brush my teeth!! Yeah! Getting a bit of grass growing in there! Eheh..."

Beast Boy literally ran out of the room and down the hall.

A question mark seemed to appear over Star's head from her friends' strange behavior. Raven sank deeper into the couch, "Oh God.."

**In Starfire's Room... **

"Psst... Cyborg..Psst... You here?? PSSSSS-"

"I'M HERE!!! SHUT UP!!"

Beast Boy stumbled over a chair, "Shh Cy.. Do you want Robin to hear?"

Cyborg's temper whistled like a tea pot.

So..there they were.. Lenny and Squiggy... Behind the dresser with a video camera...

Kodak moment right there..

Beast Boy looked at Cyborg's arm watch frantically, "Where are they???"

Cyborg peered down at it, "It's 10:11... They're fashionably late! You've got to give them props for that.."

"I've been waiting all night honey-bun.."  
"Hope it's worth the wait sweetie..."

Beast Boy and Cyborg froze as the voices flooded into the room, full of seduction. Cyborg whispered to Beast Boy, "Camera on?"

Beast Boy placed the camera on the dresser and started taping, "All set.."

Beast Boy zoomed in on the pink, round bed where Robin and Starfire huddled close together.

"Oh..oh Robin..."

"This is GOLD.." Beast Boy whispered as Starfire's _pantaloons_ flew over his own head and landed on Cy's.

Cyborg whispered violently as he tore off the underpants, "Just tape it!"

Beast Boy turned away from the camera to look at Cy haughtily, "Artwork takes precious time my friend. Something that you have no lore about."

Cyborg's eye widened and then went narrow, "You been listening to Starfire's English tapes again haven't you..."

Beast Boy huffed and returned to the camera to make 'movie magic'.

**3 minutes later... **

"Are you getting anything???"

Beast Boy focused in and out on Starfire and Robin, trying to get a clear image, "Wait...wait.. Robin's butt is in the way...wait..now it's his- Oh my GOD! Here Cy,"

Beast Boy thrust the video camera to Cy, "You tape it!"

Cyborg sighed, thinking the green imp was just seeing things, and focused the lens on the couple.

"Woah..woah...that's not pretty.."

Beast Boy huddled behind the dresser, "Is it over??"

Cyborg whistled quietly, "Man, I don't think we're even done with the previews yet..."

Cyborg looked to BB, "Where's Raven?? She was supposed to be handing out mints!"

X0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Robin my good fellow! We have the source right here that will prove your innocence!"

Robin looked up from the newspaper that was titled, 'Robin-Flying Homo?'

"Better be good.. What is it?"

Beast Boy and Cyborg smiled sweetly and handed him a tape, "Night in Heaven's Innocence a-go-go baby!"

Robin smiled, "Will it _actually_ **prove** my innocence?"

Cyborg laughed, "Dude, it will do so much more than that.."

Beast Boy took the remote for the TV and switched the movie on.

Big letters saying:

**INNOCENCE A-GO-GO BABY! **

Flashed on the screen. Robin's eyes widened fearfully as he saw two bumps moving around under Starfire's covers.

More words flashed on the screen:

**ANYONE UP FOR MINTS?? **

_There stood Raven, dressed like a pole stripper, carrying mints on a pillow. She stood outside Star's door with an expression that would make the Devil himself pee in his pants. _

"_Beast Boy, turn that camera off and get me out of this outfit before I skin you alive!" _

_Beast Boy's voice sounded behind the camera, "I'd be GLAD to get you out of that outfit Raven..." _

_Raven's fist flew at the camera and the screen reduced to a static mess. _

The screen flickered to Cyborg...carrying a tube of suntan lotion like a microphone...

"_Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on.."_

Cyborg pressed fast forward on the remote quickly and skipped through his '5 seconds of fame'..

Robin and Beast Boy snickered.

The screen was back in Starfire's room.

"_Robin...I think I..blacked out for a second.." _

_The screen zoomed around to face Beast Boy's and Cyborg's horrified faces. _

"_Help us!!" _

_On screen, Cy turned to BB, "Where's Raven?? She chickened out! I wanted a mint!" _

_Beast Boy rolled his eyes, "Yeah Cy.. That's the part to focus on.." He signaled over to the romping couple. _

_BB looked back into the camera lens, "Kids..don't try this at home.." _

_Cyborg piped up, "You might poke your eye out..."_

_Beast Boy peeked over to Rob and Star, "Ouch..." _

The screen flickered with the last image of Robin's ass, flashing the words:

**A FACE ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE!! **

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I had some writers' block and I had a report to do.. Hah, long chappie, eh? Next is _Rock-a-Bye Baby.._ Here's the sound clip:

Sound Clip: _Rock-a-Bye Baby...  
_"Now what I'm about to show you guys may frighten and disturb you but-" Robin cut in, "Raven, is Beast Boy hiding under your cloak again?"

R&R please! A cookie for anyone who can name the song Cyborg was singing! :)


	8. RockaBye Baby

**Raidersrule79-** Thanks! And, I know I've been focusing on the "s word" a lot in the last few chapters, so I'm gonna tone it down a bit... Sad right?

**Shadow12002- **Thanks. Heh, it's kind of an old song anyway. I'm not really expecting anyone to know it -shrugs-

**Jadedea- **That's Robin for ya. One problem resolved (or is it..?) And another problem beginning! Thanks!

**Emmery- **Thanks!Force her!

**Raven of the night 676- **Thanks a bunch! That's me, a daredevil -rolls eyes- phff yea right.. Updating as we speak! Uh...type!

**raven-rocks-the-dark - **Thanks, I will!

**Crazygirl956- **Haha, thanks!

**The-InFamous-Bounty-Hunter - **Wow, thanks! OMG NO! Don't send them! -updates, updates, updates-

**Mephisto2022- **Thanks. Took the words right out of my mouth!

**robinsfan- **Thank you. Interestingly enough, I didn't get that song from _Friends_. It's one of my Dad's favorites. :)

**theflamehat-** Hah, nice try. You get half a cookie for effort! -gives theflamehat half a cookie with chocolate chips.

**lil-cloudiekins-** Thanks, I'll remember that! ;)

**IYLUVER- **And more you shall have!

Thanks for all of the reviews guys! Makes me smile! The song that Cy sang in the previous chapters was "Space Oddity". Betcha didn't see that coming!

So there isn't confusion, I do not own "Space Oddity" nor _Friends_ NOR Teen Titans. Rub it in why don't ya!!!

Oh and no, I did NOT get this idea from_ 'Friends_'. My cousin told me that it was just like an episode in the 6th season. Well, I never SAW the sixth season! Only 1, 7, 8, 9 and 10. So HAH! But I did see that Buffay the Vampire Layer one on TV. And that's it. Sorry for my rambling!

Onto our regularly scheduled program!

_Putting The 'IN' Into Insanity _

Chapter 8: _Rock-a-Bye Baby... _

"What'll it be guys?"

Beast Boy stood in front of his awaiting audience with two movie cases, " 'The Grudge' or 'Citizen Kane'?"

Robin put his arm around Starfire and rolled his eyes, " Really hard to decide..ESPECIALLY when you've seen 'The Grudge'...10...times.."

Cyborg darted his eyes from movie cover to movie cover, trying to decide what film to view, "Tell me about it!"

Robin's nerve throbbed on his forehead.

Raven flipped a page in her book, "Sorry, but I won't be joining you "wildcats" tonight. I'm going out with Zeek."

Everyone in the room groaned with complaints.

Cyborg sighed, "Oh come on Raven. You can do better than that! The guy wears tight pants and _eyeliner_!"

Starfire piped up, "I believe he is..um..Elmo?"

"Emo," Robin corrected.

Raven muttered under her breath, "Didn't say I was going out with Prince Charming..."

Beast Boy folded his arms stubbornly, forgetting all about the movies, " I, for one, forbid you to go out with him. He's creepy and weird and scares the living crap out of all of us! Am I right?"

The three other Titans nodded and agreed.

Raven glared at the changeling, "Last time I checked, you weren't my mother.."

Beast Boy glared right back, "Well check again sister, cause I am! You go out with him, I take away your thongs."

The den loomed in silence. The three other Titans in shock, Beast Boy waiting for Raven's answer and Raven too furious to speak.

After a good three minutes, Beast Boy laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck, "Heh.. You're gonna throw that book at me now, aren't you?"

Raven's knuckles turned white from clutching her book so tight. The half demon shook with anger.

"You think!?"

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Well how was I supposed to know that hardback books could leave such a huge boil on my head?!?"

Beast Boy rubbed his sore head that now was wrapped up in white bandages.

Cyborg tied together the last stray bandages, making a nice little bow on the top of BB's head, "But why did you do it man? You knew you were treading on dangerous waters!"

Beast Boy sighed, "Cause I don't want her to go out with that Zeek guy. He scares the living shit out of me!"

"Dude, he scares the living shit out of other Goths..."

Beast Boy got up and walked over to the TV screen, "So...Grudge or Kane?"

Cyborg smiled, "Kane baby! I heard it was one of the best movies ever!"

Beast Boy brightened up, "Full of action and blood and gore and curses???"

Cyborg beamed, "What else?"

The guys jammed the movie into the VCR and flicked out the lights.

'_Dundadundaaaa dun DUN dun dun DUNNN_'

A black and white picture showed up on screen with a man standing on one of those speech boxes. His fist was raised in the air and the words:

**_CITIZEN KANE!_**

Swirled onto the screen.

Beast Boy and Cyborg huddled together.

"This is gonna be the best movie ever!"

" Yeah! I can feel the action already!!"

**5 minutes later...**

"ZzzzZzzzz.."

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

Raven applied the last of her black eyeliner on before she heard a knock on her door.

The black bird sighed, "Come in if you must..."

Starfire bounded into Raven's room, "Oh Raven! I am glorified that you have acquired the joy and happiness of love! We must prepare for your "going out" experience by giving you a wonderful style of your hair and a brand new attire!"

"Star, I'm just going like th–Woah!"

Starfire grabbed Raven's wrist and pulled her into her own girly room. She sat Raven down on her big cushy bed and ran to her closet.

"No..no that will not do...Hmm...I know it's here somewhere..."

Raven looked around Starfire's room as the alien searched through her closet. Pink. And lots of it. Posters- actually..a better word is _milk labels_- were hammered into her light pink wall. Purple curtains hung on her window, yellow stick-on stars covered up most her walls. A pineapple stood on her dresser and– wait...

Raven squinted. A...pineapple?? What?

"I have found it!"

Starfire sprinted towards Raven with a child's smile. Before Raven could protest, she quickly stripped off Raven's cloak and leotard, not caring that Raven was now in thong and bra. And with super-speed, she threw on Raven's 'new attire'.

Starfire giggled gleefully as she dragged Raven toward her dresser's mirror.

Raven slowly opened one eye and looked into her reflection. Starfire smiled brightly. Within only a second Raven gave her an answer...

"No. Way."

Starfire's face dropped like a ton of bricks, "But-But..it is..._you_."

Raven sighed, annoyed, "_Really_ Starfire. Let's look into the mirror together, shall we?"

Raven put an arm around Star's shoulders and turned back to her reflection. There she was. In a pink halter-top with white bell-bottoms.

Starfire looked in Raven's reflection, not seeing the mistakes that were there.

Raven pointed to her strewn cloak and leotard, "Black and blue...," She then pointed to herself, "_Pink_ and _white_... Starfire?"

Starfire turned her head toward her friend.

"What is..._wrong_ with **this** outfit?"

Starfire answered shyly, "It is..not your colors of choice?"

Raven nodded, "Good.. Now can I change into what I was going to wear?"

Starfire gasped sharply, horrified, "My friend! You simply _cannot_ wear your normal clothing! We must to put a spin to your cycle!"

Raven stared at Starfire from her last comment, "Never...again..."

Starfire ignored Raven and went into her closet once more. Raven took the liberty of reluctantly sitting back on Star's bed.

Starfire came out once more and actually _showed_ Raven the clothing first. A _purpl_e spaghetti-  
strap top and _dark blue_ bell-bottoms. Raven thought for a moment then shook her head.

Starfire sighed and pulled out a black long-sleeve top with the words, "Not My Day.." across the chest and a blue, denim mini-skirt.

Raven sighed, "Keep the shirt, throw out the skirt."

Starfire sighed this time, "But Raven, it is a set! They will be sad if not worn together!"

Raven folded her arms stubbornly, "I'll send them a 'Hang In There' card. Come on Starfire.. A skirt?? What am I? A bimbo??"

Starfire felt offended, "I wear one.. Raven, civilians will not think you are a .. Bim-bo..."

Raven shook her head, "NO SKIRTS!"

Starfire obeyed and sent the skirt back into her closet and kept the shirt out. Starfire came out once more and showed Raven the last article of clothing she had.

"It is blue and they are snug but..I am sorry Raven.. They have a rip on the knee.."

Raven brightened up a bit, "That's okay!" She ran over to the pants and ripped the other denim knee with her bare hands.

Starfire struggled to understand but set it aside. Raven was finally happy.

Heh...okay..

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"No, Star. No way in hell."

"But Raven! I will just simply-"

" NO! You are NOT touching my hair!"

Starfire stood by her bathroom doorway with a pair of scissors, "Raven..you are so stubborn.." She edged closer to the Azarathian.

Raven backed up, "Star..don't you dare!"

Starfire lowered her head solemnly, "I am sorry Raven..to go to these measures.."

Starfire shot up her head and lunged for Raven, letting out a shrieking battle cry:

"AIYYEYEYEYEYEYEYEEEE!!!!"

"AHHH!!! NO NO!!!"

Snips of scissors echoed through the air and struggles pounded on the floor.

A gasp was heard, "Uh-oh.."

Raven quickly sat up from being pinned by Starfire, "What? WHAT?? Uh-oh??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN UH-OH??"

Starfire got up from the floor and backed up toward her mirror, "Raven, please...Do not lose your temper. It is..not that bad.."

Raven got up and zoomed over to the mirror, "Not THAT bad??!! Look at this Star! This-this is just...ARGH!"

Starfire meekly came beside Raven, who now had a piece of her hair sticking out from the side and uneven angles and not to mention a little bald spot in the back of her head.

"I can fix it! A pony-tail shall fix it!"

Starfire sat Raven down on her bed and began to pull and twist Raven's hair. After a thousand, "OW YOU MOTHER F-OW!", the pony-tail was complete.

Raven immediately ran to the mirror.

Starfie followed, "See? You look fine!"

Raven examined the new style with a face, "Star..the..the _pineapple_ looks better than me!"

x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

Raven kept the style of her hair and the clothes after all. Her date would be there in 10 minutes. There was no time to change.

Raven sighed and continued down the long hall and entered the den.

The Azarathian gasped sharply and ran to get the others.

x0x0x0x0x

"Raven! What's the problem?!" Robin answered urgently as Raven burst into his room, huffing and puffing.

"Did Starfire put Ex-Lax in the meatloaf again?!?"

Raven gained her composure, to the den, quick!"

After getting Starfire, the three came to the door that led into the kitchen and den.

Raven stood in front of the door, blocking the others, "Now what I'm about to show you, may frighten and disturb you but–"

Robin interrupted, "Raven? Is Beast Boy hiding under your cloak again?"

Raven shook her head, frustrated and opened the wretched door.

"GASP!"

"GASP!"

Robin calmed down and quietly spoke, "Oh..my God.."

Starfire joined in, "The holy crap.."

Raven nodded, agreeing to their comments and went closer to the couch.

And there it was. Beast Boy and Cyborg were curled up on the sofa together. Cyborg on top of Beast Boy, both wearing dreamy smiles on their faces.

Robin smiled in victory, "YES! I finally found something to get back at them! Starfire! Get a camera!"

"But Robin, isn't that..mean?"

Robin began raised his voice, "JUST GET IT WOMAN!"

Starfire did and returned with it a few seconds later. Robin grabbed it savagely and started taking pictures by the dozen. Unfortunately, our messed up hero forgot to turn off the flash..

"Mmm..huh? What? AHH!"

Both napping teens jumped up quickly and straightened themselves up.

Robin smirked, "HAH! You guys have become the homos! Muahahaha!!"

"No man! NO! It's not what it looks like!"

Robin smiled, seeming to think back to old memories, "This does bring back some eventful times, doesn't it? Well, I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way but, what comes around goes around!"

Robin began to dance, "Oh snap! Oh yeah, uh-huh uh-huh!" He landed in front of the horrified nappers, "And that my friends is called, 'Bad KARMA!'"

Beast Boy waved his hands frantically, "NO! We are NOT homo! We just fell asleep is all! Come on! You KNOW that Citizen Kane is a flat out snooze-fest!" ((no offense to people who like Citizen Kane!))

Raven looked nervously to Robin, who seemed to be getting that crazy look in his eye. Not a good sign. She remembered what happened the last time he had that look...

**FLASHBACK! **

"_Robin, I give you the honor of carving the turkey!" _

_Starfire handed Robin the knife and sat in her seat. _

_Robin looked at the knife and began his speech, "We have all worked hard and well this year. Fighting villains, stopping bank robberies and what not. Saving the city..being the heros that we are. Making lives count, almost stopping Slade.. ALMOST! What the hell!!? Why couldn't we stop him?? WHY! Is he the owner of us ALL??? Why Raven!? Why Starfire?! Why Beast Boy?! Why Cyborg!? WHYYYYYY!!!!" _

_The Titans all looked warily at each other. _

_Robin continued, salivating, " It's not the end! I WILL stop him! SO! Let this turkey be a symbol of Slade's BIG, FAT, STUPID HEAD! YAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" _

_Robin brought down the knife savagely and began slicing and dicing the poor meat. He ripped and tore, seared and sheared. Maniac laughter filled his lungs and pierced the others ears. _

_Turkey flew in all directions, landing in the punch bowl and in the others hair. Beast Boy whispered to Raven, "Told you we should've gotten yams.." _

"_AYYYYYYIYAYAYAYAAAAAAAA!!!!" _

_Robin bellowed out a final cry and landed face first into the shredded turkey that was no more. He lay there still. _

_Silence filled the room. _

_Cyborg looked from the others, to the confetti-fyed turkey, to Robin's still form in the turkey's remains and raised his glass._

"_And a Happy New Year!"_

**END OF FLASHBACK **

Raven whispered to Starfire, "Lock the silverware drawers.."

The doorbell suddenly rang.

"I'll get it!" Raven quickly volunteered and raced to the front door.

She opened it to find Zeek. He was wearing tight black pants and a black tee-shirt that had a skull on it. Sure enough, black eyeliner was caked at the bottom of his brown (almost black) eyes.

"Hey."

Raven gave a relieved smile, "Hey.."

A crash sounded behind Raven. Zeek looked and quietly said, "Umm..Did I come at a bad time?"

Raven looked behind her and gasped.

Pots and pans were scattered on the floor, meatloaf chunks were flying and BB and Cy were hiding behind the sofa. Robin entered with the maniac look.

"BWAHAHAHAAA!!! I HAVE YOU NOW!!"

Raven turned quickly back to awaiting date, "Umm..no.. Robin is just angry that we don't have anymore toilet paper left. Happens all the time."

Zeek raised a black eyebrow, "All the time?"

Raven assured him, "_All_ the _time_. Don't worry."

The two skedaddled out the door and walked toward the bay.

Back inside, Robin was...well...you can only imagine..

* * *

A/N: I had fun writing the flashback. Not as funny as some of my previous stuff, but w/e. Time to pick the next chappie!!

_Daddy Dearest_

Sound Clip: "No..no Daddy really..I'm not a pole stripper!" Beast Boy's voice came from the other room, "Hey Rae! You lookin' fine in that skimpy bunny outfit! You gonna bring me a carrot?" Raven turned back to her father on the phone, petrified...

"_What the F—??"_ _Moments with Cy _

Sound Clip: Cyborg sat down in a black, leather recliner in a snazzy suit, "We all know that we, the Teen Titans, have such interesting adventures. So, here's a show where we can actually get _paid_ to do stuff that we regularly do. And– STARFIRE! STOP! DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON!!" Cyborg ran out of the room to the kitchen where an explosion occurred. He returned a few seconds later, covered in cake batter, "Anyway..."

_What the F—?? Moments with Cy_ is actually funnier as it sounds. That goes for _Daddy Dearest _too. I don't want to give away the story, now do I? -wink wink-

Please review!


	9. Daddy Dearest

**Imakoo- **Okey dokey! Yes, I'm sure _everyone _can imagine that skimpy bunny outfit that owns us all..

**Jadedea- **Thanks! And Robin shall get his revenge...right after Cy butters Robin's head to get him out of the turkey...

**Lil-cloudiekins- **I know a "hott" goth too but I don't really like him. It's kinda hard to be around someone who's always talking about life's little misfits...

**Emmery- **Thank you! I will definitely continue! Hah, I'm not surprised from your friend's reaction.

**Meeeeeeeeeeee- **(I put in all the e's!) I'm updating! Soon!

**RaidesruleXI**- I like the new username! And for Robin's insaneness, you should seen him go nuts with the chainsaw! They have a movie about...Chainsaw Massacre ;)

**hidden smile- **YaY! Thanks for the review! Psst...water rules!

**Mephisto2022- **Zeek will be demolished shortly after this chapter. I'm a BB/Rae supporter too! Luv that couple...

**Raven of the night 676- **YES! ONE DOWN! MUAHAHAHAHAAAA! My plan is coming together slowly...

**Taia, Mistress of the Corn Muffins- **Thanks! I have cast in your vote in the wheel-barrel thingie! I always do both chapters. Just the one that got the most votes first. -big, innocent smile-

**Shadow12002- **TWO DOWN! INSANENESS SHALL RULE-ahem- thak you for that pleasant review

**gothic goddess 14- **Thanks! Daddy Dearest leads 7 to zip. Hah...wonder why...

**romantic-raven- **Thanks! Well, aren't we rolling in the welcome wagon for Zeek... As I said before, I will be getting rid of him. Hint, Hint: _Eerbody In Da Club Gettin' Tipsy.._ ;)

**The-InFamous-Bounty-Hunter - **Thanks. Your vote has been put in the spinny-barrel-thingy! I thought Citizen Kane was soooo boring. No offense to anyone who likes it!

**Evil donut man- **I kinda figured that it was dark... or that you just have REALLY bad typing skills :p Thanks for liking, ahem, _seriously_ loving my story:)

**theflamehat- **Thanks! I got an ice-pack! Your welcome! Who wants the other half of the cookie?

**ROFL- **Of _course_ Daddy Dearest.. Lol. Wow! Thanks! I want to be a comedian too! Guess I'm doing a good job for starters.

**greg- **EXACTLY what I was gonna say! There will be moments in here, that's a fact!

**Element Mage- **Ha, thanks! I scared a LOT of people w/ the Robin-homo thingy.. But it's funny and that's all that counts! I should've made her slaughter Star... but hey, their friends..Ah, forget about friendship! Slaughter Slaughter SLAUGHTER! Haha.. CHOW!

**Danny- **Thank you for your _long, thought-out_ review. Lol. Vote has been placed.

**YinxYang- **I always will add Cy and BB yelling perverted, horny, inappropriate things! ;) Haha, they actually believed that? HA! Well...they're kind of gullible, aren't they?

Thanks for all of the reviews guys! Daddy Dearest is the next chapter! Oh what a surprise:rolls eyes: I've been getting a lot of requests for a BB/RAE relationship. It will happen, I swear! But, there are some hints of them being a couple in here. You just have to have an eye for it. ;)

Here's your perverted, horny, inappropriate chappie!

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 9: _Daddy Dearest_

It was a typical normal day at Titans Tower. See, this is how MOST stories and chapters start out. Well, you all know that this isn't your "typical" story, riiiiight? So, none of you would be surprised when I say that... –takes big, huge breath–

Robin was locked up in a straight-jacket and was giggling insanely ((how ironic)), that Starfire was locking up all the drawers of silverware and kitchen stuff and other things with baby-proofing items, that Cyborg was going on a complete rampage that his car keys were missing and he was pointing the finger at BB, that BB was hiding in the cupboard dialing a number for another "insane-o" jacket but was now trapped because Starfire had put a lock on it and that Raven was trying to figure out how to take off the baby-proof toilet clamp in the bathroom.

– takes another breath of air–

Yes, it has been quite busy since Raven's date, Starfire's make-over mania, BB and Cy's questionable sexuality and Robin's insane moments... But hey, no day is the same. Let's check in on our hero's, shall we?

Raven stood there with her mouth in a firm "no nonsense" line, hands straight at her side and her violet eyes staring dumbfounded at the toilet. How could such a simple task become a fight for life or death? Ok, that's an exaggeration.. Let me try again, "answering nature's call".

A toilet clamp thing was clamping the toilet seat shut; a sign that Star had been there. Raven sighed annoyed, "Why, oh why would Robin be doing something in the toilet? Why can't Robin wait to go insane _after_ my bathroom break?"

Raven sighed once again and placed both hands on the top of the clamp.

"One...two...THREE!"

She heaved and pulled on that clamp until the top of her feet left the ground, leaving her only on the heels of her little booties. Raven's eyes shut tight, teeth grinding, a nerve throbbing dangerously on her temple.

Raven relaxed her muscles and let go. She stamped her foot with anger and paced around the bathroom.

What to do, oh what to do?

With quick thinking, Raven swung open the medicine cabinet, hoping for a tool to use on that dreadful clamp. Powder, ointment, tweezers... TWEEZERS! She could use the sharpened end of them to twist off the stubborn screws!

With relief, she grabbed them and made a one-way trip to the toilet once more. Savagely, Raven plummeted the tweezer into one of the clamp's screws'. She jiggled, jangled and struck the tweezer on the screw. After a few good whacks, the tweezer snapped in half...

"DAMMIT!"

Raven got up with a huff from the floor where she was previously kneeling. She kicked the toilet, "Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!"

Desperately, Raven flung herself onto the stubborn toilet and just pulled with all her might. Anyone who would've came into that room at that moment...well...some nasty thoughts would flow into their mind...

With a last heave Raven gave up. She got up and went over to the bathroom mirror and banged her head on it, "All. I wanted. Was. To go. To. The bathroom!"

Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw her solution. Behind the toilet, on the clamp, was a little knob. It said "Open this way" with an arrow swerving to the right.

Raven calmly, and quietly walked over to it and turn the knob. In a second, no less, the clamp was off.

Raven stood there, no words or actions coming from her. She dropped the clamp on the ground and sighed.

"I really don't see the point of putting a clamp on a toilet when a child of two could just...turn the knob..."

Raven balled her fists and grinded her teeth, "A CHILD OF TWO!"

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"Hello? Insane-O-Rama? Yes, I'd like to order a straight jacket. Hmm? Yes, for Cyborg.. H-how did you know that? Oh My GOD! Are you, like...WATCHING us?"

Yes, Beast Boy got a hold of the phone again. There he was, tucked tight into the little space in the cabinet. Why, you ask? To make a long story short, it involved Cyborg losing his keys and macaroni 'n cheese.

BB pressed the phone tightly to his pointy ear and tucked up his knees.

"What? The bad reception? Ha, I know why! It's 'cause I'm in the kitchen cabinet," Beast Boy answered with full confidence and a huge smile.

It suddenly dropped, "A jacket for me? Why no sir it's for- Well... I could use one.." Beast Boy twirled the phone cord in and out of his fingers.

"Does it come in burgundy? Ok, then. Two Insane-O jackets please. Where to? Um...hold on a second let me ask my...um...assistant! Yes sir, I have an assistant! Who'd you think I was gonna go get? Cyborg? Ehehehe..."

Beast Boy placed the phone on it's side and pushed the cabinet door open. Well, TRIED to.

"Huh?" Beast Boy pushed again with more force. Nothing. Beast Boy backed up in the back of the cabinet in fear. Claustrophobia was settling in. To top it off, he was in a CABINET OF ALL PLACES! The suffering teen began to sweat profusely, not liking the situation at all.

In desperation ((a source our fellow Raven had used)), he threw himself onto the locked door. He scratched, he banged, he punched, he kicked...he cried.

"OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA RUN OUT OF AIR! I'll be all alone and they find me one day with my body rotting and my nose falling off!"

Then a truly frightening thought occurred to him, which made the boy's voice quiver," I'll look just l-like...MICHAEL JACKSON! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhHHHHhhhHHH!"

Beast Boy picked up the idle phone and screamed into it, "Help me, God DAMMIT! I'm gonna DAIIIII!"

The man on the other line who was unfortunately a new employee, screamed too.

"THERE'S A CRAZY GUY ON THE PHONE!" No one really cared for it was, ironically, an Insane-O-Rama store.

With quick action, the new employee threw the phone into the fancy fish tank and backed away slowly.

In the cabinet, Beast Boy was hyperventilating. He couldn't breathe, couldn't see, couldn't...BREATHE!

Back to the employee and his fish tank, he scratched the back of his head questionably and then walked slowly toward the fish tank.

"Um, sir? Will that be in cash or check?"

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Starfire floated joyfully around the kitchen, preparing a special dish for Robin. Our alien friend had no idea that our becoming-insane friend was in the cabinet, trapped. His petrified screams were unheard.

She twirled and loop-de-looped, making ham and eggs, Robin's new favorite dish. The fact that her close friend, whom she had nights in paradise with, was becoming insane was oblivious to her. Just another way of these strange earthlings.

Starfire joyfully bounded out of the kitchen toward our insane-o hero Robin. He was in a straight-jacket, locked up in secure bindings on a metal slab that stood up so he could watch the tube. The TV buzzed with action as a Spanish soap opera was playing. Robin stood intently watching it, dazzled by Lucilla's current activity–stabbing her ex-boyfriend Ricardo in the back.

"Tú cabrón! Tú dormir con Jessica! MORIR!"

((translation: "You bastard! You slept with Jessica! DIE!" Might not be exact translation so sorry for that))

Starfire paled as the blood began to circle around man's body.

"Um...Robin? Shouldn't you be watching a nicer televised show? Perhaps.. Care Bears?"

Robin snapped his head toward Starfire, "WHAT! Can't you see? Ricardo cheated on Lucilla! Naomi is having a baby with the school janitor, Frances is having an affair with Lucilla, but Lucilla just wants the sex and no relationship, Canina died from a serial killer that wanted her pantyhose and it ALL ties together in who will be Nina's father! How can I stop watching it at a time like this?"

Starfire's eyes were big as saucers. She quietly placed the plate in front of Robin. He sniffed it and said gravely, "Where's... the applesauce.."

Starfire wrung her hands together in a worried manner, "I did not think that you would enjoy consuming the apple–"

"WHERE'S THE SAUCE THAT CONSUMES THE APPLE!"

Starfire ran out of the room and came back with a enormous jar of cinnamon apple sauce. She eyed Robin meekly, "The apple sauce you desire Robin."

Robin sniffed it and then cried.

"Robin? Oh, Robin what is wrong?"

Robin sniffed pathetically. Tears streamed down his insane face, "It's-it's cinnamon... the dark little specks of sugar... Cinnamon was Canina's favorite food...until...her pantyhose got the best of her..."

His facial expression immediately changed. His eyebrows furrowed, mouth in firm line, eyes narrowed at the helpless Starfire.

"You... YOU were the serial killer all along, WEREN'T YOU? You were so jealous of Canina! Of her pantyhose that smelled of banana's in the springtime! Tú cabrón!"

((translation: "...You bastard!"))

Starfire backed away from the masked psychotic. Her only choices were to call in one of her teammates or get applesauce WITHOUT the cinnamon. But, when she ran down to the kitchen and looked in the fridge, it was all cinnamon! No applesauce..

She checked in the blender, the fruit basket, the toaster, under the tiled floor, then to the cabinets.

Top–none. Left–none. Middle–none. As she reached out to the last of the cabinets, her hope soared. She imagined pulling the applesauce WITHOUT the cinnamon out of the cabinet and hand-feeding it to the content Robin. She smiled broadly as she untangled the baby-proof items from the handle.

Her hand stretched out to open it, her hand grazed the handle, bundled it in her slender hand and opened it.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!"

"OH MY GOD OF CHEESE! SANDRINE IS KILLING LUCILLA FOR KILLING RICARDO! OH THE HUMANITY!"

Starfire placed her hands on her shocked expression, speechless. Beast Boy got out of the cabinet like it was any other day. He brushed off the dust bunnies,_ pulled his pants up _and placed the phone back on the receiver...Oh Lordy...

Out of the room he walked. On the floor was Starfire. And sleeping with his eyes still watching Sandrine killing Lucilla was Robin.

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"WHERE THE MOTHER OF CRAP IS IT?"

Oh God... Another insane reaction from our heros. Desperate is he as the others. He is in such pity, such pathetic-ness... Let us watch with popcorn!

Cyborg tore up the garage, screw by screw; yet, no luck. He searched the car engine, the tub of gasoline...

"WHERE...IS...ITTTTTTTT?"

Raven stepped into the garage quietly, not being taken aback by her friend's actions. Nope, just another day in T-Tower...

"What is it now?"

Cyborg whirled his face around to Raven's and wore a darken expression, "Keys are missing...macaroni and cheese is everywhere..."

Raven peered inside the T-Car– yep.. There was mac n' cheese spread throughout the leather interior..

Raven returned to Cyborg with an expressionless face, "And this means...?"

"Only ONE of TWO things.. One," Cyborg held up one finger, "Macaroni-eating aliens have trashed my car to find the cheesy substance, came up empty handed and out of SPITE, left the macaroni and cheese for ME to clean up!"

Raven's deadpan voice was immediately transferred to a sarcastic smirk, "And the other LOGICAL explanation..?"

Cyborg began another tale, not picking up on Raven's sarcastic ways, "That BB came down here, stole my keys WHILST eating mac n' cheese. And him being an idiot most of the time, didn't realize and didn't clean up the cheesy path of deception and left all fingers pointing to his grass stain self!"

To sum up, he went into an Olympic stance– arms raised, feet together.

Raven crossed her arms, rejecting Cyborg's explanations, which were CLEARLY logical..

"So..the macaroni and cheese that is sitting over by that table and covered in your hands has absolutely NO part of this dilemma..."

Cyborg slowly turned to the working table, where mac n' cheese was clearly protruding from the table's surface. Then, slowly to his hands, which were covered and slathered in cheese and rubber noodles.

And slowly, he met Raven's smirking face.

"Heh.."

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Raven walked down the hall to the den area with Cyborg dogging her heels. She was to prove that BB did not take Cyborg's keys.

Once in the room, she saw the scene before her.

Starfire lay sprawled out on the floor ((Raven considered she passed out)), applesauce with cinnamon was dripping from the wall next to the TV, Robin (who had clearly thrown the sauce) was watching a man and woman going at it on a bucket in a janitor's closet and an axe was laying in the middle of the floor...which she did NOT remember buying..

With all of this before her, only one name came to mind...

"BEAST BOY!"

Hearing his name shouted by Raven, Beast Boy ran quickly into the room, only to be stopped at the site.

"Woah..dude, Raven...What'd you two_ do_? And..is that apple sauce on the wall?"

Raven was about to protest and say that he had done this mess, when the phone ringed.

Her hand reached out to it, but another beat her to it.

Starfire had woken up from her unconsciousness to do her duty of answering the Titan's phone.

"Hello and welcome to the phone of Titans Tower!"

The guys shrugged and went into the den and sat down next to Robin and watched the soap.

Starfire continued her chat with the person on the other line who hadn't even spoken yet, "I hope you have had a WONDERFUL day and that everything is going well for you. Everyone deserves a smile of happiness!"

Raven slapped her hand to her forehead, seeing her friend have a one-person conversation with herself.

"May I ask who is calling? Oh? Really! Yay! How are you, where do you live and who is your lawyer? Uh-huh..yes..yes she is right next to me..."

At this comment, Raven perked up.

"Oh surly you can speak with her. What? Oh no sir, she only does one naughty thing. She wears thongs sir and watched Playboy once and–"

Raven dove for the phone and pushed Star out of the way.

"Hello? Oh my God...Um..hi...Daddy.."

Everybody in the room lent an ear to this fascinating conversation.

"What? The-the thong thing? Oh that was just a dare..By who? Um...Beast Boy!"

Beast Boy paled, seeing the image of Raven's father beating the crap out of him for daring Raven to wear a thong when he really didn't.

Beast Boy sank into the couch, "Oh my God..he's gonna beat the shit out of me..."

Cyborg placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Yep.."

Robin perked up with a huge smile on his face, "Hey! Maybe you'll die!"

Beast Boy slowly turned around to Robin's eager face. His eyes went wide and his green skin turned an unnatural color, "Cy-cyborg..I'm scared..."

Robin continued with a beaming look on his smiling face, "Yeah! But, the good thing is you'll get to meet Ricardo! Oh my God and LUCILLA!"

Cyborg ignored Robin, "You know what you can do, man? You can get back at her! You can shout something that will really get her in trouble loudly so her Dad can hear!"

Beast Boy nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah!"

Back to Raven..

"No..no Daddy really..I'm not a pole stripper!"

Beast boy saw his chance..

Beast Boy's voice came from the other room, "Hey Rae! You lookin' fine in that skimpy bunny outfit! You gonna bring me a carrot?"

Raven turned back to her father on the phone, petrified...

Beast Boy smiled broadly at Cyborg who looked petrified as well, "See? Everything is solved!"

Cyborg smacked him upside the head, "Are you a complete IDIOT? He'll now think that you're out to get _with_ Raven! He's gonna beat the crap out of Raven AND YOU!"

Beast Boy sank into the couch once again, "Ah crap..."

Raven tried convincing her father, "No Daddy...that's just one of my friends..No not that kind of friend! Drinking? What? Umm...uh..."

Starfire, determined to help out her friend seized the phone, "No, Mr. Raven's Father.. That only happened once and it was an exterminator my friends called over to exterminate vermin. But it was really me and Robin in my room that were making such loud and frequent noises."

Raven paled and grabbed the phone, "NO! That didn't happen at all! Star's just..um..."

Starfire shouted into the phone, "It was because Robin loved the hue of pink! But now he's in a 'straight-jacket' watching a gruesome epic of a soap.. And not the ones you clean yourself with Mr. Raven's Father!"

Raven turned away from Starfire so she couldn't say anymore damaging things, "Dad, I promise you that everything is fine here. You don't need to come over and settle things! No! No...no sex or anything...Everyone respects each other... No really, Dad, there's no sex!"

Starfire ran to Raven side, "Raven! Do not lie to your father! Yes Mr. Raven's Dad, there was a sexual night here. It was accidentally taped by Cyborg and Beast boy but only to prove that Robin was not gay so a gang that hung out at the Publix called Gay Guy Ness would not stalk him no longer!"

In the den, Cyborg paled along with BB, "Now he's gonna beat the crap out of Raven, you AND me..."

Back in the dramatized kitchen Raven slowly regained her composure and spoke quietly into the receiver, "Yeah..I'll see you in ten minutes then, right?"

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The following events that took place were yelling and screaming at a confused Starfire, understanding that BB did NOT take Cy's keys, that Robin was not allowed to have anymore apple sauce and an escape plan to escape from Raven's father if he decided it was pounding time...

**BAM BAM BAM! **

"That's my father, if you didn't notice already..."

Raven went reluctantly to the door and let her Father in.

BB and Cy and Starfire had to look up to see him. He was a big man with a business suit on with a briefcase and glasses. Something was different about his reddish skin but that went unalarmed. It was the expression on his face that made BB and Cy already see stars.

Raven's father put down his briefcase and stomped over to BB and Cy, "I hear you two have been messing around with my daughter. Dares with thongs, taping sex, watching her undress-"

Beast Boy pointed a finger at him angrily, "Hey! That is the only thing we did NOT do!"

The father angrily stared at the green boy, making BB quiver under his gaze, "And the other things?"

Beast Boy tapped his index fingers together and looked down to the floor with shame, "Yeah, we did all the other things.."

Raven could not bear to watch those imbeciles fight for their lives.

Her father breathed heavily with anger and began to crack his knuckles.

Starfire took this moment to ask a question, "Um...Mr. Raven's Father? We all know that you are a demon and dwell in hell so...why are you wearing that suit of business."

Raven's father looked down to Starfire with pride, "When I'm not torturing souls, I balance others' checkbooks. It's really a part-time job. Pays good."

Starfire smiled and nodded, "Ah, I see."

Raven's father smiled at Starfire, then turned to Bb and Cy with an expression that would make Bin Laden run into a rabbit hole, "Now to get back to business..."

The shadow loomed, no TOWERED over Beast Boy and Cy's shaking and quivering bodies.

"Cy? Hold me.."

* * *

A/N: I had sooooo much fun with this chapter! I love doing phone conversations as you can see..

Sorry it took me awhile. I had Social Studies mid-terms that lasted three days ((weds. Thurs. And fri.)). Also, I had to figure out what mini-stories would be in here. Everything has to tie together!

Next chapter is _" What the F—?" Moments with Cy . _Here's the sound clip for anyone who forgot:

"_What the F—?"_ _Moments with Cy  
_Sound Clip: Cyborg sat down in a black, leather recliner in a snazzy suit, "We all know that we, the Teen Titans, have such interesting adventures. So, here's a show where we can actually get _paid_ to do stuff that we regularly do. And– STARFIRE! STOP! DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON!" Cyborg ran out of the room to the kitchen where an explosion occurred. He returned a few seconds later, covered in cake batter, "Anyway..."

Please RnR! See you in the next chapter!


	10. What the Fuck? Moments with Cy

**Shadow12002- **Ha, it's 1-990-021-650 :D

**dancingirl3- **I AM! I AM!

**Mephisto2022- **Stating the obvious my friend... Stating the obvious...

**JT- **Wow, thanks! I will

**WickedWitch9- **Thank you. Applesauce pwns all.

**lil-cloudiekins- **Your welcome and glad I could be of some service! It's only awkward for you because I actually enjoyed it.

**Jadedea- **Thankies! I love smiles!

**raven-rocks-the-dark - **Teehee, everybody has a part-time job. He has been balancing my checkbooks for years and I must say, he's very good.

**The-InFamous-Bounty-Hunter** - Yes I am! I have been saying that I would for the last 5 chapters and I definitely keep my promises! Oh God no! No checkbooks! I'm terrible at math! (Seriously..)

**jadeflower82- **Why, thank you! I will!

**Emmery- **Oh my God! I think I saw that show! Wait...no...woman raping boy scouts happens in every Spanish soap opera.. Haha, thanks and your welcome! If you want curses for any type of language, come to me!

**theflamehat- **Thanks! Um...where? All it says is ?artisttheflamehat

**ROFL- **Thank you so much! I always love your reviews! Ah, imagination is your only guide my friend. Oh! I forgot! Credit to you for giving me an idea for Daddy Dearest. I took your "Raven's father comes to call" literally!

**Raven of the night 676- **Oh I know that Raven's father is a big scary dude that hates Raven... But I thought it'd be funnier to show this big scary dude who tortures souls be protective of his daughter. Thanks and updating!

**Gubba-Gubba - **Thank you, thank you, thank you! NO! DON'T GO SANE! THAT'S JUST WHAT "THEY" WANT YOU TO DO!

**robins1fan- **Thanks! Awww nothing like the love between two psychos...

**PrincessofDiamonds- **Thank you and I will!

**iamcornholio- **((dudette)) Oh my GOD! That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me! Thank you for the review btw.

...I have nothing to add...

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 10: _"What the F—"_ _Moments with Cy _

A feather duster fluttered throughout the china bowls and chrome statues... Wait... Wrong story! I am so sorry for that... Ahem.. A feather duster swooped over old pizza boxes, and video game controls. A little hum _hummed _throughout the den, filling it with maverick tendency.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, too sexy, oh yeahhhh..."

Cyborg twittered and fluttered throughout the den, dusting and prepping it up with life. The other Titans sat on the couch ((save Robin who was still on the slab)) steaming with annoyance. Raven spoke what everyone was thinking.

"Cyborg..._Please_ stop cleaning and humming that disturbing song or I'll shove that duster down your throat.."

Beast Boy shushed him while watching a Spanish soap intently, "Yeah Cy...You're interrupting a very important part of the story arc!"

"And what might that be?" Cyborg asked absentmindedly while dusting off a soda can.

Beast Boy slung an arm around the sofa and gestured toward the very _colorful _scene, "Can't you see! Naomi is confessing her love for the janitor and they decided to name the baby Butafuco ((pronounced as buta-foo-coe))! Now to celebrate their love, they're having sex on a bucket and slapping each other with a mop!"

Cyborg continued dusting Raven's head, "Mmmm.."

Raven reached up to the duster and without even looking, shoved it down Cy's throat.

During the mist of all of this, Robin suddenly held a blank face. Something had just clicked together! He reached his hand down toward one of the straps on his middle and felt it. With sheer confidence, he ripped it off. Robin let out an audible gasp.

Velcro all along...

He steadily undid the others and quietly walked toward the front of the TV and stood there facing his comrades.

Raven pulled out the wet, slobber filled duster from Cy's mouth, Starfire perked up in her seat and Beast Boy began to fume from not seeing the picture on the screen.

"Ahem.. I would like to inform you all that I have been a bit out of it for the last three days. I'd like you all to know that I am fine now and I–"

"ROBIN! MOVE YOUR SCRAWNY ASS OUT OF THE WAY! I CAN'T SEE NAOMI BUTTER THE JANITOR'S STOMACH!"

Starfire put a hand over BB's mouth, "Shh. Robin is to announce that he has changed his ways and will now be back to normal!"

Raven crossed her arms, bored by the situation, "I don't think so...Watch..."

Robin began again, "I'd like you all to know that I am fine now and I will not be having any more break downs.."

Raven played along with Robin's little game, "Okay Robin. Then, if you are truly back to your old self, what color is Starfire's room?"

Everyone sent weird, confused glances at Raven. She only nodded toward Robin.

Robin thought for a bit and then slowly a smile spread on his face, "...Pink...It was pink..."

Raven counted quietly under her breath and the other Titans waited silently for the explosion, "Three...Two...One..."

Robin got an insane look on his face hand hurled himself at the TV, seeing little dots from being up so close, "PINKKKKKKK!"

And, to the Titans dismay, he began to lick the television—right where the janitor's ass was...

Raven sighed and stood up from her spot on the couch, "And so...that wraps it up on Ripley's Believe It Or Not... Come on guys, we'll watch the rest of it in Cy's room..."

Everyone got up and walked out of the room, Starfire pushing the now drooling Robin all the way there. Cyborg stayed in the den and sighed a relief.

"I can finally wear it!"

With no one watching, Cyborg pulled out an article of clothing from behind the kitchen counter.

Tying it around him, he revealed his creation to the empty room.

Tied around Cyborg, proudly hanging from his neck was...

Robin's pink apron...

Cyborg began to whistle and bustle throughout the room, cleaning every spot of it. He pulled out Windex from the cleaner products cabinet ((yes they actually have one)) and began to scrub the carpet with it.

After a few swooshes of the sponge, a warning label on the bottle caught his eye..

_**WARNING: this product is not to be used on nylon, wood flooring, animals or carpeting. It will cause eye irritation, breathing problems if inhaled and will discolor carpeting if sprayed and scrubbed on. **_

Cyborg looked to the carpet which was fading to a whitewashed pink..

"HOLY CRAP!" He ran to the sink and scrubbed his eyes out with Dial soap..

"Stupid eye irritation...Stupid burning sensation..."

A loud knock echoed throughout the room.

With a wet washcloth rubbing his eye, Cyborg traveled toward the front door and opened it.

A salesman with a blue business suit and a brown briefcase stood shocked at the door. Seeing Cy rubbing his eye with a washcloth and in a pink apron, he uttered quietly, "Um..Did I come at a bad time?"

Cyborg shook his head, "No...Um..I was uh..um...Exactly why did you come here?"

The salesman regained composure and delivered his speech.

"I've heard all about your wacky adventures here in the Tower and I'd like to–"

Cyborg held out a hand, cutting the man off, "Say what? How do you know about our 'wacky adventures'?"

The salesman answered like it was the most stupidest question ever, "I got a heads-up from a big, red demon who balances my checkbook that you dared Raven to wear a thong and watched her undress... I checked out that video online, I believe it was called 'Innocence A-Go-Go Baby!'. And I have been to Fan Fiction and heard an...interesting story about you all."

Cyborg stared at the man with wide eyes ((eye?)).

The salesman dismissed the explanation, "Anyway, I know you've had these adventures and I was hoping to convince you to make a reality show. You have all the elements here my boy. Seduction, teens in a bachelor pad without supervision, beautiful woman, handsome men, a girl with a demon for a father, an alien, a robot, an obsessed- now- insane leader, a green person and a video camera!"

Cyborg took all of this in and asked a very important question, "Will I get, like, paid?"

The salesman looked taken aback for a second then gained composure, "Of course! Imagine it.. Your very own island...a big tower with the latest technology..."

Cyborg shrugged, "I already have all of that stuff but what the hell! I'll do it!"

The salesman grinned a disturbing smile, "Excellent..."

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"Is it on?"

"Uh...does the blinking red light mean it is?"

"Yeah..."

"Then yeah, it's on!"

"Ok.."

A camera began to record the events in the room.

Cyborg was sitting in a black, leather recliner in a snazzy blue suit, " Hello fellow viewers. I'll just get straight to the point.. We all know that we, the Teen Titans, have such interesting adventures. So, here's a show where we can actually get _paid_ to do stuff that we regularly do. And– STARFIRE! STOP! DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON!"

Cyborg ran out of the room to the kitchen where an explosion occurred. He returned a few seconds later, covered in cake batter, "Anyway..."

He sat down on the recliner again, not minding that cake batter began to get slathered onto it.

"I'd like to show you all what _really_ makes the Titans' household tic. So, let's get started shall we?"

Cyborg stood from his place and walked down the hall, the camera following behind him. Robin's door came into view.

"Now, this is a very sensitive and uncontrolled area. We must be quiet and cautious.." Cyborg put on a safari hat and grabbed a pink bear from a secret compartment and handed over to the person behind the camera.

"A teddy bear? What's this supposed to do?"

Cyborg laughed haughtily, "Ah Beast Boy, I thought you had the _lore_ of making "movie magic". "

A huff was heard behind the lens, "To let you know, I got 50 bucks for that sex tape and you only got 48!"

Cyborg cast a stricken look, "Hey! You stole that extra 2 bucks from Raven's piggy bank!"

A silence filled the room, "...Is... Raven behind me?"

Cyborg cast one more glare and returned to the camera lens, smiling, "Ahem... Anyway my dear friends, if you must know, Robin has been feeling a bit...different lately. We all know from newspapers to sex tapes that he loves the color pink. If it starts to get messy in there, my trusty camera man will throw the bear at him and we'll make a run for it.."

Cyborg put his hand on the door, "Ready trusty camera man?" Another huff was admitted behind the camera.

Cyborg rolled his eyes and sighed, "My trusty camera man who gets 10 of the deal..."

"Why yes Cyborg, I am. Let us venture into the unknown world of _Insaneous Robincus_."

Cyborg finally opened the door to reveal a disturbing site. Robin was huddled in the far corner of his room, nibbling on some object. Cyborg gestured toward Beast Boy to come forward but quietly. Tippy-toe steps pressed gently against the light beige carpeting.

Just when they were at a safe distance, Cyborg whispered to the camera, "That my friends is the once sane, brave leader Robin.. What he appears to be nibbling on is a...," Cyborg squinted toward the insane one, "Is an...applesauce lid..cover..thing..."

Beast boy began to get shaky, nervous about what their leader might do, "Cy..? What-what are you doing?"

"I'm just getting a closer look.. Get over here camera man.."

Beast boy held the camera with one hand and bit his fingernails on the other, "What if it, like...bites me?"

Cyborg turned his back away from Robin... What a stupid thing to do... He shall regret it..

"Beast boy, it's Robin. He knows us and would never harm us in any way. Sure he's getting a bit...testy lately but hey, it will make good television!"

Unbeknownst to Cyborg, Robin had turned slowly around from his corner, a long trail of drool hanging from his foaming mouth.

Beast Boy noticed this and tried to clue in Cy, " Um...Cy? Cyborg? Don't...just...don't move okay?"

Cyborg, being a haughty idiot, began to lecture BB, "Beast boy, Beast boy...You have to learn to trust me.."

Robin began to stand up, even though he still hunched a bit.

"That I am responsible and nothing will ever happen when you're with me."

Robin began to take slow, thought-out steps toward the oblivious half robot. Beast Boy tried to stay clam, "Cyborg...please..I know you're superior and everything but shouldn't you be watching Robin? Cause he's like...growling now..."

Cyborg laughed, "Ha! Ol' Robbie here would never think to maul me," Cyborg started to turn around.

"Right Rob- Oh my God..."

Robin clenched his fists and grinded his teeth, not a great sign if you ask me...

Cyborg began to back up along with BB who was still rolling.. "Beast Boy...turn off the camera...Beast boy? I said turn it off!"

BB smiled, even though he was in a serious and dangerous situation, "And miss you getting pounded by a 5 foot maniac? No way!"

Cyborg began to sweat profusely, "Then just throw the bear at him...ya know...like we talked about?"

Beast Boy took his eyes off the other two and began to search his pockets, "I know I have it here somewhere..."

Cy and BB finally got backed up to the door, Robin standing 4 feet away.

"Tell me you did _not_ leave our get away tool outside the room...Please tell me you're _not_ that big of an ass..."

Beast Boy began to pale, "We can still make it out of here, we're right at the door!"

During the mist of all this, the camera–the infamous camera– was still rolling.

Robin stepped once more, building the tension of when these two imbeciles would get torn apart.

Right when he was about to strike, BB bent down and exclaimed, "Here's the bear!"

"YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Cyborg began to pound on the door, too scared to actually use the door knob, "Throw it! THROW IT NOW DAMMIT!"

Beast Boy tossed the bear into Robin's face and reached for the knob.

"Uh-oh.."

Cy began to panic, "What do you mean uh-oh?"

Beast Boy began to pull on the knob, "It's stuck!"

Cyborg stepped back, "It won't be for long!"

A blast of sonic energy exploded onto the door, ripping and tearing and bashing it open. The two ran outside and down the hall, into a linen closet. Robin would _never_ find them there! ...

Cyborg panted along with BB, "Well...folks...what you have just witnessed was a rare predator-prey relationship with _Insaneous Robincus _and me and my trusty camera man."

BB huffed again.

"Who gets 10 of the deal."

Beast Boy sighed and banged his head on the wall in the closet, "So...what's the name of this show?"

Cyborg thought a moment, "I got it! Ladies and gentleman! Welcome to 'What the F—' Moments with Cy!"

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"So, did you get some raw footage Mr., ah what was it? Mr. Balls?"

Cyborg handed over a sleek, black tape with a label that said, "WHAT THE F—?"

"Yes I did sir. Oh, and it's Bonds, Mr. Gimmeabeer."

Mr. Gimmeabeer reached out for the tape and examined it, "Well, you've done your part. Here's your pay."

Cyborg panted like a happy dog as Mr. Gimmeabeer handed him 2,000 dollars. IN CASH.

Mr. G made his way toward the door, "You'll be getting the reviews and hits of your show Mr. Balls. Have a nice day."

Cyborg called after Mr. Gimmeabeer, "You too sir! ... AND IT'S BONDS!"

Beast Boy whistled over to Cyborg and put out his hand, "I'm waiting.."

Cyborg grinned, counting his cash, "Yeah, like I really was going to give you 10..."

BB exploded, "HEY! I almost got mauled by Robin, stabbed by Raven and dressed up in Raggedy Ann clothes by Star! I think I deserve 10!"

Cyborg walked away from the smoking string bean, " Whatever man... I'm keeping all of my moolah.."

BB sighed half-heartedly, "I didn't want to show you this but..."

He handed Cyborg a photograph.

"EEP! Um...I uh..."

The changeling smiled.

Cyborg said in a low voice, "10 it is.."

x0x0x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x0x0x0x

"It's show time everyone!"

Everybody gathered 'round the couch with popcorn and treats. Excitement flowed throughout the room as the viewing of _'What the F—" Moments with Cy'_ was airing for the first time.

Starfire could hardly stay in her seat, " I am so excited that a show about our lives will be aired on the Tele! It will teach everyone about our daily routines and clear up all rumors!"

Raven piped up dryly, "And it explains why Cy and BB were giggling in the closet.. I gotta say, I'm relieved..."

"Shhhh everyone! It's on!"

_Cyborg entered the den of Titans Tower all snazzy-ed up in a blue suit,_ _waving to everyone. He sat down in a recliner and began his tales. _

"_Hello everyone and welcome to "What the F–! Moments with Cy. Wacky adventures are the main theme here in the Titan household. Everyone here has to admit that we do have some weird experiences. Take this clip for example.." _

_A scene came into focus. It was Raven's room. _

"_Ah Raven's room," Cyborg walked out of one of her closets like the guy on The Twilight Zone, "A place where nightmares come alive and dreams are shattered. This is the first impression you have when you enter this dark chamber. But, what everyone doesn't realize that every dark tunnel has a light at the end." _

BB elbowed Raven in the ribs, "Haha! I made that line up!"

_Cyborg walked over to Raven's bathroom, "Let's see how gothy Raven really is.." _

_Cyborg opened the door. _

"_HI RAVIE! AHH!" _

_Raven stood there in her mirror, applying a pumpkin mask on her face. Hilary Duff's voice echoed in the background singing " I wanna scream" . _

_A voice came from behind the camera, "Holy crap.." _

_Raven became mobilized once more and her eyes shown red, "YOU BASTARD'S! WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" _

_Cyborg began to run, the camera following behind him, "Hard to believe, huh folks? Our very Raven is a beauty prep!" _

_Raven enveloped the two in a black bubble and set them on two chair and wrapped them up, "We'll see whose gonna look like a beauty prep..." _

_She entered her bathroom and returned with rouge, eye-liner, lipstick and mascara. Raven kneeled before BB and began to apply rouge on his green complexion, "Oh Raven. I never knew you wanted to get so close to me.. Guess you just can't keep your hands off my raw, manly body.." _

_Raven smacked him and started to smear lipstick on Cyborg's lips. In desperation he uttered, "BB...turn the camera off..." _

_Beast Boy tapped the off switch on the camera with his foot and the screen reduced to a static mess. _

Robin turned to the two from his slab, "That's why you twolooked like girls... I thought you were trying something new...

Cyborg put a hand to his head and leaned back into the couch.

_The screen popped up with life in a new surrounding. Teddy bears, unicorns and pink walls cornered the boys. _

"_Starfire's room, ladies and gentlemen. A lovely, happy and innocent place– at first...but is it **really** that innocent? Let us venture to the alien princess' closet shall we?" _

_Cyborg walked over to it and opened the closet door. He banged and knocked over stuff until he exclaimed, "VOILA!" _

_BB burst with excitement, "Whatcha find?" _

_Cyborg stood up with is hands behind his back, " Viewers are advised to cover their little ones' eyes...for this site will be naughty and disturbing.." _

_Cy showed a huge poster of Robin in the 60's . Spandex with short-shorts_ _galore my friends!_ _Robin's sleek hair slept over his mask, hands on his hips and arms with short sleeves stood out from the poster. His broad legs popped out with muscles, thighs being revealed from the short-shorts. _

_Beast Boy hollered, "OH MY F- GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS STAR DOING WITH A POSTER OF A GAY ROBIN FROM THE 60'S?" _

_Cyborg rolled the poster back up, "I am sorry you all had to see that disturbing image. Your young ones can open their eyes now." _

Starfire put her hands on her mouth in shock, "X'hal! You have found my naughty poster! How did you know of this information?"

Cyborg turned to spasmodic Starfire, "Well, while I was trying to think up some juicy stuff for my show, I thought about how Robin looked in the comics in the 60's and–"

Raven interrupted, "You were imagining Robin like that?"

Cyborg shook his head vigorously, "NO, NO! I saw one of the comics online and I thought to myself, 'Wouldn't someone in the Tower own one of the comics from the 60's?' After all, who wouldn't want to read our adventures prior to when we were born?"

Everyone seemed to agree.

"So, I thought about how Star is so innocent and sweet. Wouldn't she be a likely culprit to own something that naughty? I mean, she would think that no one would expect her of having one so she was safe in keeping it."

Cyborg folded his arms proudly.

Beast Boy piped up, "Also, we already saw it when we taped you guys that night..."

_The screen flickered to a dark, cold place with clock gears and works. _

"_Our last destination... Slade's lair.. A frightful villain on the outside, but what about on the inside? Is he just misunderstood? Just lonely from a bad childhood or some other crap like that? Well, from document research, we have found out something about Mr. Deathstroke that no one ever knew before. LIGHTS!" _

_Lights flushed the room with a dull yellow. Cyborg gestured toward a door, "Let us see the real Slade. The one that has been too shy to come out for all these years..." _

_The door opened to reveal a slightly disturbing and surprising site.. _

"_Would you like more tea Mr. Stuffykins? How about you Mrs. PookeyPoo?" _

_Cyborg turned to the camera, "There you have it ladies and gentlemen. After a hard days work of trying to take over the world, Slade enjoys a nice cup of tea with his furry friends. That is all for today. See you next time on WHAT THE F— MOMENTS WITH CY!" _

The TV screen reduced to a commercial about boil cream.

Everyone in the room, save BB and Cy, wore shocked expressions on their faces. Who can blame them really?

Robin, breaking the silence shouted out in victory...

"I KNEW IT!"

* * *

A/N: Sorry for not updating quickly. I have such a bad cold. I'm coughing and wearing my bunny slippers and my Pj's as we speak. I will get better though... DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME-silence- Well, anyway..

Time to pick the next chapter, even though I know which one will win this time for sure... Oh, and before I give the options, this is the last chapter that will have Robin insane. I have run out of ammo on that joke... ok! The chapters!

_Into The Depths of Lingerie  
_Sound Clip:"Oh! Raven how about this?" Beast boy held up a teddy for Raven to view. Raven sweat-dropped but replied dryly, "Beast boy..that's lingerie... We're going to a banquet...What is wrong with this scenario?" BB cocked his head to one side, "Lingerie?" Cy elbowed Raven in the ribs, "Good luck with that..."

_Eerbody In Da Club Gettin' Tipsy (BB/Rae action for the first time)  
_Sound Clip: "Raven...How many drinks have you had..?" Raven laughed drunk-ly , alcohol filling BB's nose, "Ahaha! Only 15 Pina Coladas! That's nothing!" BB wrinkled his nose from the smell of her breath, "Really..." Raven suddenly had a serious look on her face, "Did I ever tell you that you have the most beautiful eyes..?" BB suddenly had a warm feeling rush over him, "No.. Did anyone ever tell you?" Raven shook her head. BB grabbed her slender hand, "Then, you have the most beautiful eyes.."

-smiles with glee- I absolutely know which one you guys'll want! Heehee.. Well, see you in the next chapter!

Please ar en ar. :)

Bibi


	11. Eerbody In Da Club Gettin Tipsy

**ROFL- **Your welcome! And thank you for the review! Your vote has been placed!

**WickedWitch9- **Aw, thank you! My parents and I found out I have bronchitis, but the medicine is working! Blue suits are awesome! Coming soon to a Bridal Shop near you!

**RaidersruleXI- **Your vote is being accounted for! Huh, interesting episode of South Park. Phff, every episode is interesting! Oh my God, I forgot? I'm sorry! Well, as I look back over the reviews for chapter 9...I don't see yours...Hmm...Well, I'm really sorry if I did!

**Jadedea- **Thank you! Vote is being tallied...

**The-InFamous-Bounty-Hunter - **Acting weird is a delicacy, my friend. Thank you, Slade is just weird in general if you ask me. Ripping off a young girl's clothes...being obsessed with a young boy... Updating!

**Shadow12002- **Um...great! Glad you're feeling better though. Haha, my cousin once went through a glass window cause she thought it was open and she really had to go to the bathroom :rolls eyes:

**Raven of the night 676- **Ah, there is always someone who will preach the "Raven Speech".. I know all about that...blah blah blah... If anyone hasn't noticed already, character are KINDA OOC... Updating and forgetting ;)

**romantic-raven - **AND YOU SHALL GET BOTH CHAPTERS BUT IN DIFFERENT ORDER! Thank you very much!

**robins1fan- **I spy on all of my reviewers to see what they like and put it in my story. Don't believe me? Look behind you... Ahem... ANYWAY! Yes you may have the poster...for your...selling uses...

**Emmery- **Thanks! Oh it's possible...BB/RAE is uber awesome! Vote has been placed in the magical barrel. Oh, I checked out your story, Keeping Secrets, and I didn't review on it yet ((I will!)) I must say it is VERY EXTREMELY good. Nicely done!

**preseagaiacleaver**- Do you know how long it took to spell out your pen name? lol. Anyway, thank you and I will be continuing it as long as I can!

**theflamehat- **Ok..."_a link to under theflamehat_"... A surprise? For me? I will figure this out! I will! Oh, and thank you!

**raven-rocks-the-dark - **oh, I think everyone prefers the 'tipsy thing' ;) Drunk Raven is a LOT of fun, let me tell ya...

**Cloud- **AH! Your vote has been accounted for like the others! OMG THE "FET"! XD

Since I am the foolish person that everyone has come to know and love :wubbles: I have forgotten that doesn't support symbols from WordPerfect. So, where you see "10" in Chapter 10 ((haha! How ironic)) it's supposed to be 10 _percent_. So where it says, "Oh like I was gonna give you 10." It REALLY says "Oh like I was really gonna give you 10 PERCENT." I'll probably go back and fix it later but for now, since I am such a lazy buns, I give you this info and be done with it.

Now that we got THAT out of the way, I wanted to let you guys know that this will be a song-chap. I am NOT doing this again. I hate doing it and I don't even know why I am or why I did it in my other stories. Oh my God the sleep deprivation is getting to me... ENOUGH OF THE RAMBLING! It's gonna be "Smoothie King" by BFS. If you don't know what BFS stands for, you are a pitiful soul.

The winning chap is Tipsy! Onto the fluff-erific chapter with raw sexual humor! YaY!

**WARNING: This chapter contains some bad words and sexual action on the dance floor, on the bed in the back of the club and on the Titans' sofa. You have been warned...**

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 11: _Eerbody In Da Club Gettin' Tipsy _

"Alright! Friday night! Date night, party night! Fri-day Night!"

Robin paraded in the room waving fake ID cards in the other Titans' faces.

"I got us all Ids to get in that new club, _Mamba_, downtown. I think we should have a night out and _par_-_tay_!"

Starfire eyed Robin cautiously, clasping her hands together, "Do you think you are stable enough, dear Robin? Do you think your "ordeal" has passed long enough for your face to be shown in the public eye once again?"

After three weeks of therapy from Dr. Whatchamacallit and a thorough sponge bath by Starfire, Robin had gained control over his mind and actions once more. Such a sad event for us all...

Cyborg wooted, "Yeah! 'Bout time we got out there again! I can take that girl, Melissa!"

Beast Boy piped up, "Oh, the one with the uni-brow?"

Cyborg pointed a finger angrily at BB, "HEY! That was magic marker!"

Raven sighed, knowing that she would regret asking the question, "And why was magic marker on her face..?"

Cyborg blushed bashfully, "Well..._Chilly's _had an open bar and...one thing led to another and we found ourselves in the back going at it on packages of meat–"

Raven held up her hands, "That's enough!"

Robin looked to Raven then Cyborg, then back to Raven, "Well anyway...how about it guys?"

BB smiled, "Count me in!"

Raven nodded, knowing that she would get dragged into it anyway...

Starfire hugged the Boy Wonder, "It shall be a night to remember Robin!"

Cy whispered to Beast Boy, "The _Mamba_ is famous for its supply of alcohol and fluffy beds in the back rooms.."

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"What shall you wear to the dances of many lights, sounds and alcoholic beverages?"

Raven flipped a page in her book, bored, "What you're seeing right now."

Starfire and Raven were alone in the Titans' den, discussing about the event that were to take place that night. Starfire gasped, horrified that Raven was to wear her normal attire.

"You simply cannot Raven! It is too much of a glorious opportunity to waste!"

Raven looked up from her novel, "And why is this such a 'glorious opportunity'?"

Stars shone in the beautiful alien's eyes, "Oh Raven! It is in fairytale books and novels!"

A little comic strip appeared above Star's head, acting out the events of which Starfire was blabbing on about.

"A hunk of 'meat', which is just an expression, will take a whore out to the club of nights and will use alcohol as a pawn in his sexual games and seduction to get the hooker "_slash_" whore to tear off her sequin miniskirt and snake-skin top of tubes and throw themselves upon the pool table, the balls of the rainbow will edge in between the spaces of their flesh with everyone in the club of nights watching."

Raven sighed, not at all fazed by Starfire's explanation, "Star, exactly _which_ book did you read or dare I say it, watch?"

Starfire smiled, full of joy, "Sex In The City!"

Raven turned back to her novel, "There you go..."

Starfire merely smiled more and left the room with a "I must get ready" and with a sweep of her auburn hair, was gone.

Raven returned to read her novel titled, _A Night Without Armor_, getting to the part where the handsome "hunk of meat" was to leave his fair maiden behind, to go onto his bloody journey to fight the evils of Lindane. Raven was becoming misty as they both leaned in to share one last and final kiss when..._it_ happened...

"GUESS WHO, RAVEN!"

Beast Boy, being the stupid ((yet loveable)) idiot that he was, did not judge correctly wear Raven's eyes were. He beamed with giddiness as he grabbed them. No...wait...grabbed them? You weren't supposed to grab eyes you were supposed to...–

"Holy...crap..."

Raven's eyes widened as she felt the pressure on her breasts. Taking a few seconds to register what had happened, Raven's eyes became red as she whirled around to see BB's frightened face.

"_You_..."

Beast Boy stuttered uncontrollably, "I, uh-well, you see um... It was uh.. I didn't mean to-um.."

During all of this, Beast Boy's hands were still resting upon Raven's breasts. Quickly, and hoping that he would make up for that time, BB took the perpetrators off them. Backing up slowly, Beast Boy wondered how Raven would kill him.

With a snap of her cloak, Raven was up and off the couch, making her way hastily toward the green imp.

"You...little...fucker!"

The rest of the team, in their "par-tay" clothes, had just then decided to enter the room.

"How _dare_ you lay a hand on my breasts!"

The room was then silent.

Cyborg coughed, "Well, it looks like everyone's ready! C'mon!"

x0x0x0x00x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

_Let's get it started in- hah! _

_Let's get it started- in here! _

_Let's get- coo coo- in hah!_

_Let's get-coo coo _

_In here! _

The music bumped and grinded against the walls of the _Mamba_, as were the people in there...

The Titans entered the club as if they owned it, decked out in their new attires. Cyborg wore a hip-up ghetto outfit from G-Unit. Light-blue sweat pants and sweat jacket with two black lines cascading down their sides. A white under shirt was worn under the sweat jacket with the words _G-Unit_ written in script across it.

A girl with light brown hair and tan skin stood at Cyborg's side with her arm around him. She was covered in Abercrombie and Fitch. A pink Nancy Cropped Cardigan hung off her shoulders with a dark green under shirt, a light green bra strap showing off, and a light brown miniskirt with pockets and a flower chain swayed at her hips. Her hair was pulled up into a perfect half-up-half-down with purple fake hair imbedded into it. Beige boots clicked upon the hard-wood floor.

Robin was dressed up in a blue tee with a gold 65 etched onto it. Long and light, beige cargos stopped half way at his smooth, muscled calves. Red and black Ramli's, styling wonderfully with his gelled black hair, snugged his feet. A silver chain swung from his neck, almost to the beat. His arm was wrapped around Starfire's waist.

Speaking of Starfire, she wore Abercrombie too, being introduced to it by Melissa. Aged indigo Susie 5 pocket crop's fit snugly to her figure, showing off her small waist and perfect curved hips and cropped at the curve of her calf. A dark pink Lucy Embellished Babydoll ((that's a shirt..not an actual baby doll)) puffed out at her stomach, revealing some skin on her flat abdomen. A cream newsboy cap hung off to the side of her head. Star's hair flowed down in a wave and curled at the bottom off her shoulders. Flashy earrings dangled from her lobes.

Beast Boy was up-and-coming with his tight, black tee-shirt that showed his new developed six-pack ((okay, stretching the truth a bit but who cares?)). Dark olive cargos were on the brink of clashing with his sleek green legs. Espresso/Mocha Verstad Shield's covered his feet, showing off his upper ankles. To add a finishing touch, deep dark brown cuffs were strapped to his wrists.

And last was Raven. Tripp black and blue lace pants hugged her slim figure tightly yet comfortably. Every curve was admitted through them ((for all you guys out there)). A hot pink shirt wrapped around her with the words, "I'm only wearing pink because my Executioners robe has blood on it." A choker with a black, rhinestone cross nested on her slender, pale neck.

"Woo! This is awesome! Come on Cy baby! Let's dance!"

Melissa grabbed Cy's hand and they went off to the dance floor, "You got it sugah!"

Starfire looked nervously to Robin, "I do not know how to...dance, Robin.. I am sorry.."

Robin smiled, "I'll show you all you need to know..." He lowered his eye lids seductively. Starfire followed the suit.

The traveled to the dance floor, practically running.

BB whispered to Raven, "I give them 10 minutes and they'll be doin' it in the back on those beds.."

Raven nodded and walked off to the side of the building. Beast Boy's eyes widened, "Raven wait! Don't you, uh...wanna dance?"

_She don't even know exactly where she wants to go _

_Is that a double negative oh never kind let's go _

_To the next line of the story _

Beast Boy gestured frantically to the dance floor, "It's Bowling For Soup! Come on you know you love them!"

Raven looked back at the green boy, "I rather not.."

BB seemed to deflate, "Oh..Ok.."

Just when he was about to walk off, BB whirled back to Raven and followed her to the back of the _Mamba_.

"Wait... Is this about the boob thing?"

Raven jerked around, white glazing her eyes, "No...that's not what this is about..." Her voice was slathered with sarcasm.

_I met her at the Smoothie King she said Seattle's best _

_She may be right think I remember coffee on her breathe _

_She smoked cigarettes, I chewed bubble gum..._

Beast Boy desperately tried to change her mind about dancing, "Oh come on Raven! I never meant to do...that..."

Raven pointed a finger angrily at BB yet again, "No...this is about you being a hormonal _pervert_! First, you dress me up in a pole stripper outfit, then get me in huge trouble with my father. Grabbing my... Argh! Can't you just..stop?"

Beast Boy kept on, "It's just a dance..."

Raven was becoming frustrated, "No! I don't know what you might do out there!"

Beast Boy was at his last attempts, "Aren't you just a..little bit curious?"

Raven glared.

"I'll...use the gentle cycle–"

Raven crossed her arms, "This is what I'm talking about. Go find some go-go bimbo and dance with her."

With that, Raven went into the depths of the crowd.

Beast Boy stood there astonished, "I can't believe she said that... Bimbo's are so hot! And this story is Humor/Romance! Not Drama!"

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Robin and Starfire cruised along the dance line, rocking to their own beat. Robin put his hands gently on Star's hips and swayed with her. Starfire wrapped her hands around his neck.

"I'm..glad you are not..insane..Robin.."

Robin laughed huskily, "Hah, me too."

Starfire saw some people grinding out of the corner of her eye, "Oh Robin! Let us endure the pleasures of the dance those two people are encountering!"

Robin began to sweat, "Um..Star? That's–"

It was too late. Starfire turned around and pressed her butt to Robin's crotch. When Robin didn't do so, she placed his hands on her lower hips and then she placed her own under them and held onto Robin's hands.

Robin, not that he wasn't enjoying the moment, began to sweat more. This was a little far... Ok yeah, they had sexual intercourse but it was really a one-time thing. Just one night that Starfire had wanted to seek out and learn about for the future. Robin had been her test subject...

_I know I shouldn't take it but I think I kinda like it _

_When she tells me that I'm dumb (tells me that I'm dumb) _

_And this may sound pathetic but I think that we can make it _

_We'll go on and on and on and on _

The crowd began to get into it and rambunctious as the heavy chorus busted through the speakers.

_Love songs suck and fairytales aren't true _

Starfire had taken this opportunity and, through naivety, brushed up her butt on Robin's crotch and back down again.

Sweat now reaching Robin's eyes and heart pounding faster, he reached up and wiped the sweat away and put his hand back down. But sadly, it was on Starfire's crotch.

"Oh...my God..."

Ah, the sweet moves of new lovers...

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Melissa and Cyborg were having their own adventures..if you get my drift...

_And happy ending Hollywood is not for me and you _

_So add it up and break it down _

_It's not that hard to figure out _

They had traveled to the bar and were drinking some scotch. Who cares about under age drinking? It's still America!

Melissa sat hers down and looked up to Cyborg's eyes ((again, eye?)) .

"I hear that the _Mamba_ is famous for its bar and...fluffy beds in the back.."

_You're crazy and I'm crazy about you_

Cyborg choked a bit on his scotch, not expecting the invitation to be so soon, "aha...Um.. Yeah..I hear that too.."

Melissa lowered her eyelids and ran a finger up and down Cy's sweat jacket, "You wanna see if it's true?"

"Oh God yes."

Off they ventured to the back.

There appeared a door with the words "Condoms X-ing" hammered onto it, kind of suggesting to wear one. Melissa giggled and slid open the door to reveal a luscious pink bed with lacy drapes and everything. Cyborg whistled, impressed with the layout.

When close enough, they heard some odd whispers..

"I hope the manager doesn't come back here..."  
"Yeah..Since we're workers and he's my dad..."

Cyborg's eyes widened and looked over to the corner of the room.

"Um...excuse me?"

The whispers immediately stopped and there was awkward silence. A boy about 17 came out with his hands up in surrender and his work tie was backwards, "It's...not what you think...we were just...making cupcakes!"

A girl about 16 ran up beside him, "Yeah...that's just the frosting over there.."

Melissa scrunched up her nose in disgust and Cyborg threw up inside his mouth.

Melissa pointed to the door, "I...think you should leave..."

"Of course! We are, we are!"

The couple sprinted out of the room and Cy and Melissa were left alone. Melissa walked toward the bed and jumped onto it.

"They weren't kidding when they said it was fluffy!"

She looked to the side of it, "Aw, look! They even laid out mints and condoms!"

Cyborg laughed along and got onto the bed. It was all fun and games until Melissa felt a huge dent in the bed, "Hey..what's...what's that?"

Cyborg expected it, "Hmm... seems to be a huge ass print.."

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Raven stood over in the far right corner of the club, not really enjoying her time. When she had gone into the bathroom, she had realized at the last second that it was a shared one. In which girls _and_ boys were allowed to use it. So, it didn't come to any surprise when a guy had knocked on her stall and asked for a swirly...and to use the gentle cycle...

A guy with dark, jet black hair came over to her and said, "Hey...wanna dance?"

Raven knew that if she didn't, BB would come over again and try and persuade her with sexual jokes, "Um..Yeah sure."

_Everyone around me says she brings a brother down _

_And mommy thinks she's great but then again she's not around _

_To see her throw a fit, borderline conniption _

Raven was having a decent time dancing alongside the guy until he had decided to wrap Raven in his arms and squeeze her ass. Raven's eyes went white and a florescent light popped, showering sparks on the crowd of people.

Raven pushed the guy away from her, "You bastard!"

The guy only shrugged and walked away.

Raven sighed and walked over to the bar. Nothing better to do than to make yourself wasted..

X0x0x0x0x0x0x

Beast Boy walked around the club, not really doing anything. He had already drunk two glasses of scotch on the rocks and had danced with three girls. Bimbo's..maybe... But he had gotten two phone numbers. Though he was pretty sure that: 111-1111 wasn't a phone number...

Okay..so one number out of three was still not that bad but the girl was really hammered. How did he know? Besides the breath and the speech slur, the girl had wanted to "Do him over a stove, sailing on a rubber ducky". At least he danced with them...

His olive, forest eyes scanned the _Mamba_ deciding what to do next. He saw Robin and Starfire grinding but that really didn't surprise him, though he was a bit when he saw Robin having a seizure when his hand landed on something...

Then, Beast boy saw a figure slumped over at the bar. It reminded him of someone he knew but he just couldn't see the face so BB walked right up to it.

_And all this only matters if we listen anyway _

_She's all I can think about so I must not be gay _

As Beast Boy got closer, he saw that the slumped figure was none other than...

"Raven?"

Raven turned slowly around, lazy eyes widening at the sight of the changeling, "Hey! How'd you escape from the rubber ducky?"

Beast boy sat down on a stool next to her. This had happened once before and it had resulted in twelve police cars in front of the Tower and a probation. Not to mention a hefty fine for disturbing the peace of Pinky Floyd... So, Beast boy knew exactly what to do in a time like this...

"Raven...are you drunk?"

Raven laughed with a case of hiccups, "Ha, nooooooo..." She then leaned into Beast boy, almost touching his lips, "Psst...I'm gonna let you in on a..secret big boy.. I am _so_ _drunk_..."

Beast Boy placed an arm on the bar table, "Really..."

"Raven...How many drinks have you had..?"

Raven laughed drunk-ly, alcohol filling BB's nose, "Ahaha! Only 15 Pina cola das! That's nothing!"

BB wrinkled his nose from the smell of her breath, "That's...great Rae.."

Raven leaned in once again, Beast boy almost choked from the smell, of booze, "I'm lying..I had 10 cups of booze too.. Shhhh!"

_I'm a lunatic and she's my psychopath _

_I know I shouldn't take it but I think I kinda like it _

_When she tells me that I'm dumb (tells me that I'm dumb)_

Raven suddenly had a serious look on her face, "Did I ever tell you that you have the most beautiful eyes..?"

BB suddenly had a warm feeling rush over him, "No.. Did anyone ever tell you?" Raven shook her head. BB grabbed her slender hand, "Then, you have the most beautiful eyes.."

Raven looked up into his eyes, relishing the color. She then looked down, "I...I can't feel my legs.."

Beast Boy looked around the room for Robin. He needed to get her home, no matter how much he would regret not taking advantage of Raven's state.

"Come on..."

_This may sound pathetic but I think that we can make it _

_We'll go on and on and on and on... _

Beast Boy dragged Raven across the dance floor, her legs giving out every minute like jell-O in a microwave. He finally caught up with Star and Rob, still...grinding...

"Um..Robin? Heh, sorry to brake up this tender moment but..Raven's drunk and we all know what happened last time.."

Robin and Starfire stopped what they were doing and recounted that long night, "Wow...Yeah, Pink Floyd was really mad about the graffiti...and the large amounts of popcorn shrimp ordered to his room at the hotel..."

Beast Boy nodded, thinking back to. Raven brought him back to reality when she fell right into him, "Ugh..So...What do I do with her?"

"Do what with who?"

Cyborg and Melissa walked up to join the group.

Starfire explained, "Raven is a little drunk, Cyborg.. And it's whom."

Cyborg beamed, "Yay! I love drunk Raven! So much more fun than regular ol' crabby Raven! Hey! Remember that night with Pink Floyd and all that giant popcorn shrimp?"

Robin rubbed his temples, "Yes Cyborg..I think all of the eastern side of Manhattan knows about that... Anyway, Beast Boy? Take her home."

BB nodded and started to drag Raven toward the door when Raven bellowed out , "SHRIMPPPPPP!"

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_Love songs suck and fairytales aren't true _

_And happy ending Hollywood is not for me and you _

"Raven...? Are...you okay?"

Raven lifted her face out of the crack of the cushions of the sofa, "Of COURSE! I'ma lookin' for some pennies!

Beast Boy looked on, worrying, "And..what will you do with the pennies Raven?"

Raven looked up at Beast boy, "Pennies?"

Beast Boy sank down into the couch, "Oh man..."

Raven jumped onto the couch and scooted closer to Beast Boy, "You are looking FINE in that turtleneck!"

"Raven...It's not a turtleneck... It's a tee-shirt."

Raven shrugged, "Potato Potahto..."

_So add it up and break it down _

_It's not that hard to figure out _

_You're crazy and I'm crazy about you... _

Raven suddenly jumped up, "Hey! Let's do something fun! Like... I dunno but I'm thinkin' Popcorn Shrimp!"

Beast Boy got up and guided Raven back down on the couch, "No, no.. We can't after what happened last time..."

Raven waved her hand, "Nah, that probation probably wore off by now! Come on!"

Beast Boy turned on the TV and shook his head. Raven sighed and sat back down on the couch. After awhile, she looked over at him with a hint of seduction.

_And we are the lucky ones we'll get matching tee shirts airbrushed at the mall _

_Hangout at the pretzel stand and make fun of people and laugh if someone falls_

"You know...we can do something fun here...Like a game.."

Beast Boy set down the remote, not expecting what sexual games would be arising soon..

"Sure..what game?"

Raven moved in closer, "You are soooo hot... With two T's!"

Beast Boy forgot all about Robin's orders, "Well, I have been working out.."

Raven moaned softly as she placed a hand on BB's muscled stomach, "Mmmm..."

BB almost put a hand on her breast but remember what happened when he did. Raven saw this and grabbed his hand and placed it there. He looked up into her eyes questionably. Raven only smiled as she lowered herself down onto BB, making him lie down on the sofa.

_Watch everyone else hold hands and try so hard and maybe we'll start to see _

_That you and me... _

Raven leaned in and pressed her lips against his, light's flickering from it. She pushed her tongue against his lips, trying to get in. Beast Boy cupped her cheek with a hand and gently pushed her off of him.

"Raven, we can't do this... You're drunk!"

Raven tried leaning back in, "So..?"

_We're not so crazy! _

Beast Boy pushed her upward, "So it's wrong. I'd be taking advantage of you."

_Michael Bolton (never liked him)_

_Celine Dion _

_Air Supply! _

_And now...ME! _

Raven was forced to sit up by BB moving forward. She placed her two hands on either side of his face, "Come on... Where's the hormonal pervert I love so much?"

_Love songs suck and fairytales aren't true (Love songs make me sick cause they're not true) _

_And happy ending Hollywood is not for me and you _

_Hollywood California! _

Beast Boy placed his hands on top of hers, "Really?"

Raven thought for a moment, "No... Popcorn Shrimp has a place in my heart too.. Can't let him down.."

_So add it up and break it down (add it up, break it down) _

_It's not that hard to figure out_

Raven turned back to Beast Boy and stared into his eyes, hair starting to slide off her shoulders and cover her face. Beast Boy, caught up in the moment, began to slide his hands down her arms. Raven slid her hands down onto his neck then back to his nape then front again on his chest.

_Your crazy and I'm crazy about you _

_Love songs make me sick cause they're not true _

_Your crazy cause I'm crazy about you_

She pushed down slightly and Beast Boy followed her. Pressing her lips against his, a cabinet in the kitchen flew open and the condiments barged out of it. Raven didn't have to press her tongue against Beast Boy's lips this time as he gladly let her in to explore.

_Crazy cause I'm crazy about you _

_Your crazy and I'm crazy about you! _

Their wonderful journey began.

_...Yeah... _

Well, after Raven threw up on him... _Then_ their wonderful journey began.

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The Titans bustled into the den, talking about the _Mamba_ and how Starfire almost got arrested for "grinding out of control".

Everyone stopped as they saw the scene taking place on their couch. The "wonderful journey" unfolding before them.

"Holy crap..."

* * *

A/N: Okay, maybe not THAT much BB/Rae action but a lot more than there used to be-wink wink-. If you look at the lyrics for "Smoothie King" it kind of matches BB and Rae's relationship. Not all of it but yea. Well...nothing left to add!

Here's the sound clip for the next chap:

_Into The Depths of Lingerie  
_Sound Clip: "Oh! Raven how about this?" Beast boy held up a teddy for Raven to view. Raven sweat-dropped but replied dryly, "Beast boy..that's lingerie... We're going to a banquet...What is wrong with this scenario?" BB cocked his head to one side, "Lingerie?" Cy elbowed Raven in the ribs, "Good luck with that..."

Just one thing, if anyone has any suggestions for the story, please say them in your reviews. I can only come up with so much. Well, see ya next time and stayed tuned! There is more humor to come!

Bye!


	12. Into The Depths of Lingerie

**IsaacGSO- **Happy first review ever! Really? Wow, I'm gonna call that number! Continuing!

**The-InFamous-Bounty-Hunter - **Hmm..drunk Raven more often? I like! She'll probably get drunk three times including the previous chapter. Thank you! I'll be sure to be at the defendant's chair at 'Disturbing the peace of Pink Floyd' trial. Thank you!

**Phibbs- **Thank you so much! Updating as we type!

**Raven of the night 676- **Heehee thank you. Once again OOC, but Raven was drunk so...she has an excuse...I guess. I'm glad you like my own personal BB/Rae! I'm not really sure where you're going with the _" you should have their little one night thingy, come back and bite raven. give her a little surprise. if you know where I am going. same with star... I don't like star, she should suffer too. XD"_ Please explain and I will think about it ;)

**Loch Ness Monster- **Thank you! Yes, my story is like a hallucinogen, addictive and entertaining ((I am not recommending the drug! DARE people! Stay in school! Don't sue!)). Oh my God, I just noticed that your username initials are in the order of the alphabet but the M and N are switched around! The little things in life amuse me :D

**Invader Cloudie- **BFS totally kicks ass dudette! Oh, and thanks for the e-mail! It's nice...getting e-mails instead of reviews for a change. I like your band's name -wink, wink-. Just the title of that song sounds like something BB would sing to Rae. I'll go listen to it!

**WickedWitch9- **? I am sorry. Please don't sue. :) ((psst...was it the grinding thing?))

**PrincessOfDiamonds- **Thank you! Updating!

**Raidersrule76- **Yes, I think it really would kill the mood... With the way Starfire was grinding, she would almost get arrested. HAM! Yay! The 76 is back!

**Jadedea- **Thanks! Glad my story makes you laugh! Pranks with popcorn shrimp...creative now, aren't we? ;) -updates-

**Emmery- **Thankies!Yeah, kinda similar.. I really couldn't think of any other alcoholic beverages so I just used that one. They're very good by the way -wink- Oh, your welcome. My impressions of a sexy Robin have been demolished as I have used insane-gayness in this story :D

**madmodsdaughter- **Yet another interesting pen name. Thanks! I can't wait either!

To let you all know, this BB/Rae thing isn't a one night thing ((how would it be after what had happened?)) and if you don't like the pairing, I'd suggest you leave because I don't want flames saying they don't like the couple and that it could never happen. I only take constructive criticism, thank you.

Now that we got THAT out of the way, it is time for the next chapter! Lingerie for us all!

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 12: _Into The Depths of Lingerie _

"I always knew that you and Raven would...get drunk and be in danger of having a baby out of wedlock..."

Beast Boy looked up from spreading jam on his toast, " Seriously Cy, it was amazing... I never knew that Raven could be so loving...so tender..so-"

Robin interrupted, "-going to kill you."

Beast Boy gave him a questioning look, "Huh? Why would she want to kill me?"

Robin got up to get some more eggs, "Well, besides telling me, Cy and Star about your 'wonderful journey', you took advantage of her while she was drunk."

Beast Boy drew lazy circles on the kitchen tabletop, "She came on to _me_..."

Cy poked in, "But you didn't say no."

Beast Boy turned to Cy angrily, "I **did** say no! But then she, like, cornered me... She was saying all the right things and doing all the right moves..."

Cyborg smirked, "What'd she do? Tell you that you looked like the Hulk and tickled you on your stomach?"

Robin stepped in once more, "Besides, she was drunk! You just can't make love with a drunken lady!"

Cyborg raised a brow at Robin, "Make love? What are you? A girl?"

Robin turned angrily to Cy, "Oh, saying 'make love' is girlish but having a copy of the _'Titanic_' soundtrack isn't?"

Cyborg began to get misty, "Hey! Those two only had each other! She'll never let go Robin! She'll never let go!"

Cy ran out of the kitchen to get some tissues, leaving the leader and the comic relief boy together. Robin sat down on the booth with his eggs across from BB. He cut the yellow yolk from the white stuff and took a bite and chewed thoughtfully. After two loooooong minutes of silence, Beast Boy slammed his hands down on the table.

"Okay, you gotta say something!"

Robin swallowed, "Well, Raven was drunk, right? So, you don't really know if she meant all that she said and did last night. I think you need to talk to Raven and work this out, you know? Compromising and talking are two strong and important points in a relationship."

Beast Boy burst out with laughter. Robin took the liberty of throwing some bits of white egg stuff at the green changeling's head. BB's laughter subsided a bit to let out an explanation.

"Sorry, dude. It's just after the gay-insane-commando thing, it's hard to take you seriously!"

Instead of blowing up on the green bean and getting mad and that crap, the Boy Wonder just picked up his OJ glass and sighed, "Man, that gay insane thing really screwed me over didn't it?"

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Raven woke up to the sun rays hitting against her closed eyelids, causing a painful sensation. She propped herself on an elbow and put a hand to her oozing head. The previous night was such a blur..she couldn't remember one thing that had happened.

"Gah...I feel like I got hit by a truck..."

Raven then remembered that the Titans had went to the _Mamba_ and there WAS alcohol there..

"That may be a distinct possibility.."

As she tried to sit up, her head felt unattached to her body, still going in the direction of which she sat up, her body in one place. Raven tried to keep her eyelids open, but between the sun and her extreme tiredness, she plopped right back down on the bed again. This caused her head to weigh like 40,000 bricks...

Turning her head slightly to the side, Raven saw the alarm clock flashing 11:00. She sighed, knowing that Starfire would be up here any minute, nervously wringing her hands and questioning Raven's state.

On cue, Starfire knocked on Raven's door, "Raven? It is almost noon and you still have not come downstairs to consume breakfast with us. Is everything alright? May I please come in?"

"Yeah...sure..."

Starfire almost busted down the door, wringing her hands nervously and– yep, you guessed it– questioning her friend's state.

Raven patted a section of her covers, signaling Starfire to sit down.

"Oh, Raven. Are you feeling well?"

Raven sighed at the obvious first question, "No, my head feels like it's about to roll off and my stomach is all.. floopy..."

Starfire cocked her head to the side, "Well, I am assuming it would after the events last night.."

Raven rolled her heavy head to the side, "Argh, I was so irresponsible.."

Starfire seemed to talk more to herself than to Raven, "At certain positions on the couch, yes."

Raven began to talk to herself too, "I probably got bored at the club, drank a gallon of liquor and forced all of you guys home. I bet everyone was mad at me."

Starfire continued to be in thought, "Beast Boy didn't seem to be mad at all last night..."

Raven turned to Star, "Well, I got hammered so there's a good reason why Robin and Cy would get mad at me. Come on, Robin's like the gay control-freak dad, and Cy is like a big brother.. Of course they would get furious with me getting all high..."

Raven's eyes widened suddenly, "Starfire...what did I do last night?"

Starfire turned her attention to Raven, being a bit uncomfortable to explain the events taking place on the Titans couch last night, "Um...you were...most happy and...I ... Um.."

Starfire perked up her head towards Raven's door, "Oh my, is that the telephone? I shall get it!"

Star flew out of the room, leaving Raven with her questions.

Raven rolled her eyes. Knowing that she would have to get downstairs before the whole household came busting into her room like an episode of COPS, she tried sitting up again. Fluid came rushing up her throat, and Raven had to cover her mouth and swallow before her bed would be in jeopardy of a mess.

Raven turned her whole body around to place her feet on the floor. Hangover or no hangover, she needed to take a shower– badly. Forcing her body upward, Raven felt like Bambi trying to walk. She put both her hands on her walls to guide herself to the bathroom in her room. Once in, she kneeled in front of the toilet and disposed any alcohol left in her.

When pulling her hair back, Raven noticed something on the side of her neck. Raven put her hand to it. A small, bumpy mark elevated from her pale skin. From the feel of it, she could tell it was red.

Raven immediently went to her mirror and looked at her slender neck. A gasp was admitted through her small mouth.

"Oh...my God... A..hickey?"

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Raven felt utter shock pulse through her veins as she walked slowly down the hall to the kitchen. What the hell did she do last night to earn a hickey? Raven's heart sped up as a putrid thought entered her mind. 'Did I pole strip at the club?'

A shudder was admitted through the confused half breed. Pushing open the kitchen door, she was greeted with surprised looks by all of her roommates.

"Wow, you're up?"

Raven turned her glance to Robin, "Um...yeah. I thought I needed a shower."

Cyborg bit his lip, trying to keep from laughing. Robin made eye contact with Beast Boy, signaling him to have his talk with Raven. BB nodded and Robin gathered up the others to the den.

Beast Boy gestured to the booth and Raven took her seat, not liking that everyone knew something she didn't.

Beast Boy sighed, "I think we need to talk."

Raven raised a brow, "Hmm?"

Beast Boy nervously chuckled, "Um..heh.. What happened last night was amazing but it's just a one time thing, okay? I don't want us to get into anything complicated. Because you were really drunk, I don't even know if you meant anything last night."

Raven stared at the green man, "What?"

Beast Boy touched Raven's hand to reassure her, "I liked what happened, don't get me wrong. It's just, I don't want anyone to get hurt from drunken antics...you know?"

Raven raised both eyebrows, "Seriously, what?"

BB fidgeted a bit, "We're not what people would consider as the 'perfect couple'. And, I don't really think it could work out, but I do want it to. I just don't know if you want it to."

Raven nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "Um..I have no idea what you're talking about Beast Boy.."

Beast Boy began to get a bit frustrated, "The sex."

Raven looked around the room, "What sex?"

Beast Boy furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing why Raven didn't remember, "_Our_ sex."

Raven immediently stood from her spot, "We...we what?"

Beast boy stood also, getting angry, "We had SEX!"

Raven's eyes widened, "We had sex..."

Raven's eyes then narrowed and began to glow white, "WE had SEX?"

BB slammed his hands down on the table, "YES! YOU WERE ALL DRUNK AND YOU CAME ON TO ME! WITH MY LACK OF SMARTS, I GAVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED!"

Raven gasped, the information sinking in. It kind of made sense. The hickey, the hangover, the poorly unhooked bra strap, the imprints on the couch...

Raven put a hand to her head, feeling lightheaded. She slowly sank into the booth, not knowing how this possibly could happen.

"What...where..when..," Raven looked to BB incredulously, "_How?_"

Beast Boy finally let his exclamation sink in.. He had sexual intercourse with Raven... Oh my God... What the hell was he going to do?

BB sank into the booth also, not really believing what he said either.

Raven massaged her temples. This was so not right.

Cyborg poked his head into the room, wanting to see if the two were done. Seeing that BB and Rae both looked like they had 20 tequilas, he considered it had went well.

"Come on in, y'all. The two lovebirds are done."

Star and Rob stepped into the kitchen. Robin waved a little envelope, "Well, now that the couch-sexapalooza is over with, we got an invitation to the city banquet!"

Raven stopped thinking about last night to turn to Robin with a groan, "Must we go? Those city officials and the mayor are such kiss ass'..."

Robin sighed, "I know, I know... But we aren't doing anything tonight and we all have dates so...why not?"

Beast Boy questioned the Boy Wonder, "We _all_ have dates?"

Starfire nodded, "Yes. Robin and I, Cyborg and Melissa and...you and Raven..."

Raven exploded, "What! Just because we had sex, we're dates?"

Everyone stared silently. Raven scratched the back of her neck, "Yeah...guess I just answered my own question."

Starfire clasped her hands together excitedly, "We can go to the mall of shopping and pick out glorious outfits together!"

Cyborg held up the T-Car keys and jangled them, "Ready y'all?"

Everyone nodded and proceeded out the door. Raven stopped them though with one request, "As long as Starfire doesn't try and eat the Dill Pickle blowup guy again..."

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All the sights and sounds of the mall bustled busily. It was a Saturday after all, so people tended to shop for night club outfits. Starfire 'ooh'-ed and 'ah'-ed at the fabrics that every store had to offer. During this exciting trip, only one incident occurred. Going into Victoria's Secrets.

"Oh Robin, please? The soft and velvety fabrics abound!"

Robin was being dragged along into the store by Starfire, who was also dragging in everyone else. Every guy's dream was being fulfilled.. Going into a "Teddy Store". At least it was Cyborg and Beast Boy's perspective of it.

Melissa shrieked with glee when she saw the new line of perfume and grabbed Cy's hand and ran over to it. Starfire was being taught by Robin why not to try on bras in the middle of the store and Raven was being tortured by Beast Boy. Not in a physical way. Something much, much worse. He was picking out inappropriate items for Raven to wear to the banquet... Chaos guaranteed.

"You've got to wear this!"

Beast Boy shoved a red teddy into Raven's face. It was on the slutty side with lots of lace fringed on the bottom and a black interior. He picked out some black lacy stockings that went up to your thighs to go with it. Raven blew a stray piece of hair out of her view and shook her head.

"No way in hell."

Beast Boy thought for a moment and them smiled in recognition. In a second, no less, BB returned with another item of choice.

"Oh! Raven how about this?" Beast Boy held up yet another teddy for Raven to view. It was a satin, solid scarlet with white, fluffy cotton frayed on the top seams of the breasts. Clearly leftover from Christmas..

Raven sweat-dropped but replied dryly, "Beast Boy...that's lingerie... We're going to a _banquet_... What is wrong with this scenario?"

BB cocked his head to one side, "Lingerie?"

Cyborg came over to Raven and elbowed her, "Good luck with that..."

Raven rolled her eyes as Cy returned to Melissa, who wanted him to sample some Curious for her...

The devil's daughter put her hands on her hips, "Buy a Webster's Dictionary from Borders and look it up. I'm not wearing that. It's VERY inappropriate.."

Beast Boy gave her a lip but Raven only shook her head. She walked out of Victoria's Secrets and went across the way to Borders, muttering something about definitions and women's nightclothes.

Meanwhile, our two peach-faced lovebirds were having a little 'discussion'.

"Starfire," Robin put a hand to his aching head, "Starfire...You can NOT try on bras in the middle of the store..."

Starfire decked out her innocent stare, "But, I see others try on jackets and sweatshirts in the middle of a store... Why not this particular article of clothing?"

Robin answered quietly, " 'Cause... It's not polite to...take off your shirt..revealing...your feminine qualities. Not really a clothing store policy...the 'No Shirt, No Service' sign comes in to play with this...predicament.."

Starfire thought for a moment, then took the awaiting bra in her hand and put it on over her shirt. Robin almost died right in the middle of the store. Starfire twirled around in the air, landing right in front of Robin and twirled some more.

"Does it fit, Robin?"

x0x0x

About an hour later, the Titans met up in the middle of the mall with their purchased items. Starfire had picked out a purple dress, similar to the one she wore when she went to the prom with Robin and...Kitten..

Cyborg had bought a bow tie. Yes... only a bow tie. He had learned from the _Mamba_ that clothes gave him extra baggage and he couldn't maneuver quite well in bed with them. No, not sleeping folks.. Dig a lil' deeper...

Robin had gotten a traditional black tux with some shiny shoes. Starfire tried to buy him some leg warmer's but he wasn't so easily convinced...

Raven had bought a strapless red gown. Simple, little black swirls curved their way around her figure. She had also gotten some perfume ((if you call getting hog-tied by Melissa until she bought some, buying perfume)) and a red, ruby clip for her hair.

And then there was BB. He had purchased with his Visa a purple, snazz-erific suit. Light purple draped itself around his broad shoulders ((again...exaggerating)) and a dark purple bow tie fastened itself around his neck.

Oh, Melissa? Meh.. She ain't a Titan so who cares what she's wearing!

"Can we _please_ go now?"

Starfire agreed with Raven out of the mountain of shopping bags, "Yes.. Realms of the Flesh will be coming onto the television in 14 minutes!"

Robin did a head count, though there was no reason.. Surely you could point out if a green, mechanical, orange-skinned or purple-haired person was missing...

As the Titans walked out of the shopping mall, Beast Boy elbowed Cy.

"Yo.. Cy.. I exchanged Raven's blue dress for something more special."

Cyborg raised a brow and whispered, "How'd you do that under her hawk eyes?"

Beast Boy made sure Raven wasn't looking their way and gave out his Confidential Info., "I bought the more 'special outfit' and slipped it into my bag. Then, with stealth and gracefulness, I took out the dress from Raven's bag and slipped in the 'special outfit'."

BB beamed with pride. Cy rolled his eye, "Ok James Bond... What's the outfit?"

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"A TEDDY?"

Raven's eyes glowed as red as Trigon's scaly skin. Her nostrils flared and a huge nerve throbbed on her temple. Starfire lifted up the teddy from the bag and took a good look at it.

It was the red, slutty one with the black interior and lace. Starfire looked to her hostile friend and a plan formed in her mind, "Perhaps you can still wear it.."

Raven grinded her teeth, losing patience, "Starfire! It's lingerie! How the HELL can I wear _that_ to a BANQUET?"

Starfire explained her analogy, "You can tell the officials and fancy people that it is a new trend. They probably do not have knowledge of what is 'in' and 'out'. They will surely go along with your words without another doubt in their minds."

Raven sighed. She had to wear it. Everything else in her closet was her team outfit and the Titans had to leave for the shindig in 5 minutes–there was no time to go out and get something else.

Raven carefully took it out of Starfire's hands, fearing it would break upon touch and felt the straps thoroughly.

"Hopefully it can support more than an ounce..."

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Good evening Titans! Welcome to the 25th Annual Ball "slash" Banquet! Please, make yourself comfortable and– Oh my... Um, Raven? Who are you wearing?"

The Mayor covered his eyes and looked away from Raven's lack of modesty. On her was the teddy, the red, ruby clip and her booties dyed red. After 10 minutes of Robin screaming at her and the others about their image, he had finally let her go to the banquet sporting Vic's Secrets...

Raven replied in her most dry and monotonist voice ever, "It's a new trend. All the rage. Don't _you_ have one, sir?"

The Mayor regained his composure and whispered flustered, "Well, of COURSE I have one... Heh, heh... It's at the Dry Cleaner's!"

He let the Titans pass and the group went over to table 1. Robin went all leader mode on them and pulled out a long list.

"Listen up Titans... First, we mingle. We mingle some more for about 10 minutes. Then, we dance. And Cyborg? No break dancing and Star? No...grinding.. After dancing, we eat the finger foods handed out to us and have some wine. Raven? Don't you have any... We already have to burn that couch... Okay, wine and finger foods... Ah! Mingle some more... And we mingle until dinner is served to us, got it?"

All the Titans and Melissa stared at Robin. Cyborg then exclaimed, "Oh my God! Regis Filman is here!" He pulled out a '_Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?_' T-shirt and pen and sprinted toward the gray-haired man. Melissa came trotting after him.

Beast Boy's eyes lit up, "SHRIMP TOAST!" And he ran on his little pegs to the buffet table.

Robin stood there silently with Raven and Starfire. He tore up his list and sighed, "Seven hours of calculating and interpreting down the drain.."

Robin then walked over to a worker from Wayne Inc. and mingled. _He_ at least was going to stick to the list. Raven and Starfire eyed each other. Starfire gestured toward the dance floor and Raven nodded.

"So, Raven.. You are not upset with Beast Boy having sexual intercourse with you?"

Raven tried to move to the steady tempo without one of her breasts flying into the open air, "How can I? I was the one who initiated it..even when I was drunk.. It's not so bad... Maybe Beast Boy could make a good boyfriend..."

From the buffet table, a scream was heard, "Ah! Someone get this shrimp toast out of my nose!"

Raven looked back at Starfire, "I said _could_..."

Starfire twirled as a cymbal vibrated the air, "I think it is glorious that you and Beast Boy are becoming affectionate with each other. Everybody knew that it would happen some day."

Raven shrugged. It was kind of confusing.. Getting drunk and spending her first time with Beast Boy.. But no one ever said life was gonna make sense. For instance, how did BB get a shrimp toast up his nose?

Starfire continued to dance a bit when she spotted something, "Oh! Raven... Um... X.Y.B. ?"

Raven raised her eyebrows, confused. Wasn't it XYZ? Examine Your Zipper? Raven calculated why Starfire would have said XYB when Starfire's hands went to her breasts and lifted up the teddy's cups.

Raven stared incredulously at Starfire. Star blushed and replied in a whisper, "Examine your breast..."

Raven's eyes widened. She felt the straps daintily and said to Starfire, "Excuse me.. I'm gonna go by the buffet and fix my boobs..."

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"PLEASE! JUST ONE AUTOGRAPH PLEASE!"

Cyborg had himself fastened onto Regis Filman's leg and was being dragged around the floor.

Regis kept a stone face, "I told you a million times buddy, no autographs."

Cyborg let go of Regis' leg and blocked his way, holding up his TT badge, "But! But! I'm a Teen Titan! I've gotta have some special privileges or something!"

Regis sighed and rolled his eyes up to the ballroom ceiling, "Fine. If I let you have one autograph, will you stop stalking me?"

Cyborg nodded vigorously like a bobble head doll. Regis grabbed the pen from Cy's hand and scribbled a signature onto the shirt. He handed the pen and shirt back to the crazed fan and went on his way. Cyborg saw he was leaving so he grabbed Regis' hand and walked with him, like it was any normal day. Regis looked to Cyborg slowly. He eyed Cy with a glare that could kill.

"What...are...you doing."

Cyborg gave Regis a lip, "Let me have this dance!"

Regis tried to pull away from Cyborg but the cybernetic teen held a strong hold.

"Melissa! Give me the camera!"

Cyborg took the camera from Melissa and held it out in front of Regis and himself. Cy hugged the furious old man to his side and made a cheesy smile.

"Say: OMFGBBQKTHNX!"

The flash went off and Regis pulled away from Cyborg, "You're a freak!"

Cyborg stared at the photo just taken dreamily, "That I am sir, that I am..."

Cy turned to Melissa, "Did you just hear that! Regis Filman, _thee_ Millionaire guy, just said I was a freak!"

Melissa laughed as she saw her boyfriend go completely goo-goo over this Filman guy. Cyborg sighed, very much contented, and fainted into Melissa's arms.

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

Beast boy carefully wedged out the shrimp toast from his green nostril.

"Steady...steady now..."

"What in Heaven's name are you doing?"

BB turned to the black bird and laughed nervously, "Shrimp toast... Heh.. It's a hazard I tell ya!"

Raven shook her head and went over by the wine tasting table. Beast Boy ran up to her and clutched her arm, "Raven, I really think you should stay away from the alcohol.."

Raven grabbed half a glass of red wine and sniffed it, "Red wine is good for your heart Beast Boy. And I'm sure I won't get drunk again if I have one tiny glass."

Raven put the glass to her lips and Beast Boy dove onto her, making them both topple over and the glass shatter. The whole room was silenced. Raven shrieked in surprise as the wet, red substance slid into her teddy. Beast Boy looked up to the crowd of people and coughed.

"We're playing a game of Cops and Robbers."

Robin came over to the two and pulled them up. Veins popped out from his neck and his breath came out raggedly, "What did I say about our image tonight Raven? Beast Boy?"

The two glanced at each other. BB put his head down while Raven crossed her arms over her now wet chest and they both replied, "To not partake in any sexual activities, not even the game Twister and to not get drunk off our ass' and have another probation from another star."

Robin furrowed his brows and pointed angrily to the dinner table. Raven and Beast Boy complied and as they walked over, Raven whispered to the waiter, "You wouldn't happen to have a huge cotton swab, would you?"

Shortly after the two were seated, the other Titans joined them. Starfire chatted excitingly having founded a new joy. Corn on the cob. Cyborg had an ice pack on his head and dreamily told everyone about his run in with Regis. Robin lectured them all about their image and the others were silenced.

Up from the podium, the fat, stout and not to mention short mayor got up on a box and tapped his wine glass, signaling a speech to take place. Starfire watched the Titans and other people do this action also so she raised her knife and whacked the wine glass. It shattered, silencing any other people who were talking. Starfire smiled, thinking she had done what the mayor wanted.

The mayor looked wearily to Starfire and then back to the awaiting room of people. He cleared his throat and began to gesture wildly.

"As your mayor, Mayor Fukyoo, I want what any high leader wants for his people. For them to live happily and healthily..."

The mayor continued on with his loooooong speech. Finally, he gestured toward the Titans table, spilling a bit wine on them. Robin saw his cue and stood up.

"Hello everyone. I first want to say that we, the Titans, are honored to pursue our duties here in Jump City, California. It's not easy to have authorities protect a city without getting paid, but money is no issue with us..."

Robin continued on with his speech. As a last and final note, Robin declared, "And so, to sum up, I am not insane, I do not like pink and I am not, NOT gay. Thank you for your time." He sat down with pride and the main courses began to be passed out.

Karaoke was becoming a big hit as pre-Madonnas took to the stage. Famous singers, such as, well.. Madonna! began to sing their hearts out while others such as...Cyborg for instance...tore his vocal cords and exploded others' eardrums.

Cy got up to the mike and tapped on it, sending off a high pitched echo, "Uh... Hi everyone! I would like to dedicate this song to someone that is very special to me.."

Melissa perked up.

Cyborg lowered his eyelids and pointed to table 6, "You.."

Regis Filman dropped his fork full of flounder fillet. Ozzie Osbourne ((A/N: spelling?)) leaned over and whispered, "Guess you should rename your show "Who Wants To Be The Next Dumbass"... SHARON!"

Cyborg cued the old lady at the piano, "Hit it Crazy Fingers.."

Cy grabbed onto the mike with passion and held out his hand to Regis. Regis turned away humiliated so Cyborg came into his audience to the million dollar man himself.

"I think of you...everywhere I go..."

Almost everyone in the room immediately recognized The Call's "Everywhere I Go" song and groaned.

"I think of you...everywhere I go.. I look for you everywhere I go!"

Robin slammed his head onto the table, the image issue was overpowering him. Melissa fumed and left the banquet- Cy picked Regis over her. Beast Boy was busy drying off Raven. Starfire poked Robin to make sure this wouldn't be another insane-turkey-head-of-Slade fiasco.

Cyborg walked behind Regis and slumped his arm around him, "I need you everywhere I go.."

Regis put his head into his hands and stayed like that as Cy continued his song.

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Hey, it wasn't that bad! Though I really think you should've sang "Space Oddity".."

Cyborg dried off his eyes to look to Beast Boy, "You think so?"

"Sure!"

Beast Boy was trying to console the mechanical teen as Regis ordered security after Cy's second verse and the Titans had gotten kicked out of the banquet. No, that's not all... Cyborg now had a probation from Regis Filman.

Robin marched up to Cyborg and slapped him, "This is exactly what I didn't want to happen! Now what are we going to do? The whole town thinks we're gay stalkers!"

Raven rolled her eyes, "Don't worry Robin. We can fix this by adding a new line of cereal.."

Beast Boy beamed, "I know exactly what to call it! Titan-O's!"

Robin tore out his hair from anger and got into the T-Car, "Let's...just...go home.."

The Titans packed into the car silently and drove off into the night sky. Beast Boy whispered to Raven, "Man..I haven't seen Robin this angry since we cut out a picture of Slade's head and pasted it on a turkey.."

Raven looked to their smoking leader, "No.. I think he was more mad when we hired that maid and it turned out she was a hooker.."

* * *

A/N: Sorry if the ending was crappy. I just needed to end it because I am going to be off the computer for awhile doing a Geography report. I shall return in a week no less!

Chapter harvesting time!

_Camping Trip From Hell  
_Sound Clip: "Cyborg, you took the wrong turn, I'm telling you! We're lost in a dark, spooky country road and on a one-way trip to the Emergency Room!" Cyborg crouched over the wheel and screamed at the Boy Wonder, "I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING DAMMIT!" All of a sudden, a jolt rocked the car and stopped it. Cyborg angrily got out and stepped into a salt marsh, "DAMMIT!" Raven looked out her window to see nothing but a muddy salt marsh, "Well, this looks like a _perfect_ camping spot.."

No picking chapters this time folks.. Sorry.. I have to plan this one out with the limited time I have! Please read and review!


	13. Camping Trip From Hell

**Jadedea- **Any obsession my friend is disturbing... CY/REGIS ALL THE WAY! Thank you for the review!

**Raven of the night 676- **"Oh My Fkin _Goth_"... Haven't heard that one yet... Anyways... You gave me such a GREAT idea! Thank you so much! Get ready for a pregnancy! The question is when and who? DUN dun DUN...

**jadeflower82- **Why thank you! Glad you liked the previous chapters :). I don't know if BB/Rae is my fave couple... I have a lot including some weird ones such as Jynx/Rae (don't ask...okay fine you can XD) Heh, I had a dream recently that I wore a teddy to something...God it was embarrassing.. Well, here's your chapter. Didn't take _too_ long and didn't rush. Just the way you like it ;)

**Jackdaw- **Heehee... A small grey-headed cow you are.. Very nice. Thank you and of course I will.

**Invader Cloudie- **Thanks! -phew- Good, I didn't feel like going back and correcting it.

**Emmery- **Yet another great idea! I shall include that with giving you credit but I'm gonna have them have a lil' surprise when they do... -smiles mischievously-

**Raidersrule76- **I don't think anyone saw it coming. I could tell you liked it. I know your review formatting by now :)

**dancingirl- **Um, ok. Thank you ;)

**The-InFamous-Bounty-Hunter - **Thanks! Updating..

**XxJeterxX- **Thankies! Heh, we have like similar usernames and slightly similar stories.. ((I haven't read yours yet)). No gayness with Robin? I'm not keeping any promises...

**romantic-raven - **Okay, we have a glass of wine and delicate teddy fabric and have napkins as our only resource.. You do the math ;) Feh, I needed to get rid of Melissa... She bored me.. -GASP- How dare you not like Cy-Cy! Come here Cy-Cy.. I'll love you... ;)

**Invader Puppet-** And behold! It 'tis Invader Puppet! Heehee.. I like that name too. I LOVE that idea! Credit shall go to you when I use it in the up-coming chaps. Here's the current chappie..

**a- **Hope you like the rest! BUT, my friend, they never said he wasn't ;)

**Mephisto2022-** Wow, I feel so honored to be the reason of your return! I am very glad you liked the chappie. I seriously didn't intend the Rae/Star stuff but it's just a one time fling. Oh..Now that I think about it, you're gonna see some action between them in up-coming chapters too... Or even something else... MUAHAHAHAHAAA! (this was meant to make you confused -wink-)

**Chibi Scooby- **(looks at user name) So are you Scrappy Doo:p Well, I'm a twisted person. So, I guess it fits. Thanks though:)

Ah... I feel so relieved.. All my work is done with school... They are really packing it in since there's only like three months left ((for New York HAH! And to all you Missouri folk, don't care if you get out earlier cause we New Yorkers get in later! Hah HAH!)) -ahem- Sorry for the two week and extended wait. You've all been patient and I thank you for that. I also thank you for not reviewing saying, "Hurry up with that chapter! I can't wait any longer!" So thank you twice! Here's your deserved prize! -holds up thong- Whoops! Wrong prize... Here it is!

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 13 (unlucky number! Ahh!): _Camping Trip From Hell_

"Melissa... Melissa please! It didn't mean anything! It was all in the moment. No 'Lis, I assure you, it was only in the moment. I had way too much to drink and I am a fan of Regis so...please it meant nothing! Melissa you're not hearing me! It meant– hello?"

Cyborg held the phone close to his ear, seeing if Melissa was still on. To no avail though, she was gone. Cyborg sighed and but the phone back onto the receiver. Beast Boy looked over the couch's headrest.

"So... You guys through?"

Cyborg nodded, "Pretty much.. I didn't know she'd take that song to Regis so hard.."

Raven looked up from her book next to Beast Boy, "It wasn't so much as the song as it was the hug you tried to give him, shouting, 'You are my soulmate!',"

Cyborg shrugged. He plopped down onto the sofa and rested his head in his hand. Cy suddenly perked up, an idea forming in his mind.

"Hey guys, what do you say we all go on a little camping trip? It's about time we got out and it'll take my mind off this Melissa/Regis fiasco!"

Beast Boy switched off the tube, "That sounds awesome!"

Raven flipped a page in the novel, "I'll pass. I already get enough monkeys here.."

Beast Boy put his chin on Raven's shoulder and looked up to her face giving her the puppy eyes, "Pleeeeeeeeease! C'mon Rae, it'll be fun! Plus, we can do a bit of wildlife watching ourselves," BB added the last part low enough for Raven to hear.

Being the hormonal young woman she was, Raven slammed her book shut and stood up abruptly, "I'll go pack..."

Cyborg looked to Raven's billowing cape go out of site to Beast Boy's pleased face incredulously.

Beast Boy sighed haughtily and put his hands behind his head, "Another case solved by the Love Doctor.."

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"HURRY UP YOU LOVEBIRDS! WE CAN'T MISS THE HIPPO MATING DANCE!"

Cyborg screamed until he was blue in face at Robin and Starfire who were apparently having a little trip of their own at the moment. The two hurried with their things looking flustered. Starfire's perfect hair was tousled around and Robin's shirt was torn and hanging off his shoulder.

Beast Boy looked around the room, "We're all here right? We don't want to forget someone in the Tower like we did last time..."

Raven looked to her emerald boyfriend, "No, you got your stories mixed up. We once left Robin in the trunk of the car when we went to Yellowstone Park. Remember? We shoved him in there because he kept going on and on about couscous and how they added the second cous in 1979?"

Beast Boy smiled in recognition and laughed, "Oh yeah! Robin, you missed the best cheesecake there."

Robin pouted, "They had cheesecake at Yellowstone?"

Cyborg waved his hands in front of them, "Shut up! We can talk about hogtying Robin in the trunk of a car for 7 hours when we're in the _CAR!_"

Starfire smiled apologetically at Cyborg, "It was approximately 6 hours and 46 minutes,"

Cyborg slapped a hand to his head and turned the front door knob to be face to face with none other than...

"R-Regis...?"

"Cyborg..."

The other Titans looked warily at each other and backed away from the two to give them space. Beast Boy whispered to Robin, "I bet you 20 bucks that they'll be goin' at it on the floor in 4 minutes.."

Regis put a hand behind his head, "I...couldn't stop thinking about you, what you..sang to me.."

Cyborg crossed his arms around his chest and turned away, "I don't know what you're talking about.."

Regis walked up to Cyborg, ready to convince the robot, "Come on..I think of you everywhere I go.."

Cyborg's hard stare in the other direction softened as he turned his head to the old man.

Regis continued, "I think of you everywhere I go... I look for you–"

Cyborg turned fully around and sang along, "–everywhere I go..

They held hands now, much to the discomfort of the Titans, the author, and the reviewers/readers and sang, "I need you everywhere I go!"

Cyborg then jerked his hands away from Regis', "No.. It's too late Regis.. You calling security last night was all that was meant to be said.."

Regis tried to change the half-robot's mind, "No Cyborg... I was talking crazy last night, not noticing the connection that was being made!"

Cyborg gestured to the others to come forward and follow him, "I'm sorry Regis but it's too late.."

They all paraded out the door and into the car, leaving the Million Dollar Man to think about his mistakes...

x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x0x

"Well...that was..interesting.."

The Titans were all packed in the car and were silent for 5 minutes until Raven spoke up. Starfire nodded and sighed sadly, "I just wish friend Cyborg and the Regis would make up and become friends!"

Raven shook her head, "Believe me Star, _no one_ wants that to happen.. The results would be utterly disturbing and inhumane..."

Cyborg stayed silent on the wheel, not wanting to talk about it. Robin tried to liven up the bunch, "How about a car game?"

Starfire bounced up and down in her seat, "Oh! Oh! May we play the 'License Plate Game'?"

Raven replied dryly, "Starfire, we're only going to Yosemite Sanders Wildlife Park. We're not crossing the state line..."

Starfire slumped in her seat sadly and tried to think of another game to play. Meanwhile, Beast Boy yawned and placed an arm around the top of the seat by Raven. A bit of his hand was on her shoulder and this got Raven irritated.

"Get your hand off my shoulder,"

Beast Boy quickly did, not wanting to be tossed out of the car window. Robin scratched his head, puzzled.

"Your allowed to kiss and even have sex but he can't touch you with his hand?"

Raven glared at the Boy Wonder from the backseat, "Yes, Robin. Do you have a problem with that?"

Robin shook his head, "No..no... Not at all..." He turned around in the front seat and muttered, "Weirdos..."

Raven did hear his spat though and she came back with, "Well, I for one Robin think it's also weird when you stick your finger in your belly button and then smell it..."

Robin whirled around, "And I for one too think it's weird when _someone_ picks out the lint between their toes!"

Raven smirked and spat out, "I think it is also weird and unsanitary when _someone_ claims they have thrown out my thongs and actually still wears them all the time!"

Robin gasped, horrified, "How did you know that?"

Raven rolled her eyes, "Please Robin, _Stevie Wonder _can see your crack in those spandex pants.."

Robin let out a 'hmpf' and turned back around in his seat. Everyone was silenced. It stayed peacefully quiet until Starfire questioned, "Who are these someone's who pick lint and wear thongs?"

Everyone sweat-dropped and continued on with there silence. Beast Boy, bored beyond all reason, started tapping a little beat on his knees. He couldn't put his hands anywhere else since he was sitting between Star and Rae. Touch Starfire, you get an ass-whooping from Robin and touch Raven you—

A mischievous smiled slowly played across his lips. Slowly, ever so slowly, BB sneaked his arm around Raven's shoulders and poked her on the other side. Raven snapped her head toward BB's and glared. Beast Boy's hands were back in his lap though and looked innocent as ever. Raven's eye twitched and returned to look out the window.

Beast Boy forced in a laugh as he poked her again and quickly returned his hands in his lap. Raven growled at him, but with no proof of him actually poking her, she let it slide once more. Beast Boy grinned and poked Raven twice– once on the arm and another on her leg. Raven snatched Beast Boy's hand that was now back in his lap and kept holding on.

BB looked at her in mock puzzlement. Raven's teeth grinded as she continued to hold on and look out the window. Beast Boy instantly grew some tentacles and poked Raven four times– on her head, stomach, arm and other shoulder.

"STOP TOUCHING ME!"

Beast Boy snatched back his gloved hand and gasped with mock horror, "Raven! How dare you accuse me of such childish and nonsensical charges,"

Raven glared once more. Beast Boy extended his pointer and slowly descended it on Raven's shoulder, stopping within centimeters of contact. Raven looked to his finger and raised an eyebrow.

BB said childishly, like a little brother, "I'm not touching you..."

A nerve throbbed upon Raven's temple as she tried to block out Beast Boy's immaturity. This only made the changeling persist.

He circled his fingers around her head, "Still not touching you.."

Then, Beast Boy moved his body toward Raven's, a Millicent away from contact. He breathed onto Raven's ear, "Still...not...touching...you..."

Raven screamed in annoyance and clamped her hands around BB's throat, choking the green bean. Beast Boy gasped for air, trying to tell Raven he would stop. Raven released one of her hands to roll down the window. BB's eyes widened more as he saw his cruel fate...

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Well you could've at least stopped to let me back in after 10 minutes!"

Cyborg continued to concentrate on the road ahead, "Yeah, but then we wouldn't have been able to laugh at your stupidity behind your back."

Beast Boy huffed and settled back into his seat between Starfire and Raven. BB violently whispered to Rae, "When we get there, I'm touching you alllll I want.."

Raven let out a small, evil smile and opened up a book.

Robin looked back and forth on a map and then to the now foggy road. He tried to calculate at where they ought to be by now.

"Cy, this map says that we should've arrived at Yosemite an _hour_ ago!"

Cyborg furrowed his brows, "Do _you_ want to be thrown out the window and run after the car for a half hour?"

Robin ignored Cyborg's threat, "Cyborg you took the wrong turn, I'm telling you! We're lost in a dark, spooky country road and on a one-way trip to the Emergency Room!"

Cyborg crouched over the steering wheel and screamed at the Boy Wonder, "I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING DAMMIT!"

As if on cue, a jolt suddenly rocked the car and stalled it. Cyborg angrily got out and stepped into a salt marsh, "DAMMIT!"

Raven looked out her window to see nothing but the foggy, muddy and damp salt marsh.

"Well...This looks like the _perfect_ spot for camping.."

Cyborg fumed as he stomped into the T-Car and tried to get them out of their slump. He pressed hard on the accelerator to go nowhere whatsoever.

Starfire saw this predicament and suggested, "Perhaps we should..walk?"

So with that, the happy campers paraded out of the car and careened into the salt marsh, slipping and sliding on God knows what.

After about an hour of treading mud, the Titans have found a descent spot to camp. Cyborg began to pound the tent into the ground, Starfire and Robin went to get wood and Raven and BB were doing...well...God knows what.

And boy did He know...

Cyborg looked at the tent directions quizzically. Turning it upside down he huffed, "What the hell is this thing written in? Portugese?"

Deciding that it wouldn't matter what way the tent went up, Cyborg began to set it up. Taking a pole and another pole, he barreled them into the hard, muddy ground. They only went in one millimeter (A/N: Don't you hate it when that happens?). This added more anger and stress that was already on Cy's shoulders. He lifted the culprits out of the dirt, rose them above his head and crashed them into the ground.

_**SNAP! **_

Boiling anger rose up to Cyborg's throat and escaped forcefully, "DAMMIT!" Cyborg looked back into the bag where the tent came from.

"Don't they have any spares? Everyone knows that every 5 minutes, an angry man breaks a tent pole,"

It was then he heard a rustle of leaves behind him. Thinking it was Beast Boy trying to scare him, Cyborg smirked and got another pole from the tent bag and walked over toward the rustling sounds.

"I wonder who that could be. Oh no. Maybe it is a bear of some sort.. Or a tiger, or a hippo or a–"

Cyborg froze at what he saw in the bushes, "You are not a tiger, or a bear or a hippo..."

Two solid black eyes looked up toward him, a slimy decaying face that was rotting before the cybernetic teen smiled maniacally. A swamp-water covered hand reached up for him...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!111oneoneone!"

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Robin... I am frightened in this cold, dark place. What if the Jason with the mask and knife comes to slice us into cheese cubes?"

Robin moved a tree branch out of his way, "There's no such thing as Jason. It was just a movie,"

"But–"

"Or Freddy Krugar,"

"But–"

"Or Samara Morgan,"

Starfire held on desperately to Robin's sleeve, not wanting the ghost story persons to drag her away. Her fearful eyes darted from tree to tree, from shadow to shadow. Something always seemed to be moving out of the corner of her eye.

Deep breathing entered her ears, seeming to be coming closer and closer..

"HIYA!"

"OWWWWWW!"

A dorky 12-year-old (A/N: no offence to anyone who is 12) wearing a 'SUNTAN 101 SUNTAN LOTION' shirt and carrying a bag load of sun block staggered across the forest floor from being hit with a star-bolt. Starfire immediently went to the girl's side, apologies spitting out of her mouth like running tap water.

"I am so sorry! I thought you were one of the ghost story persons!"

The 12-year-old waved it off as she gained balance, "Nah, don't worry about it. I get it all the time. I have really bad allergies and suffer from asthma and tend to sneak up on people when selling my suntan lotion. I'm not weird or anything if that's what your thinking and I absolutely DO NOT have a picture of a carrot in a heart-shape frame on my bureau with the words in script, "Love you with all my heart," scribbled on it. And I DO NOT know how all that popcorn shrimp got into Pink Floyd's hotel bedroom!"

Silence engulfed all of them for 10 minutes. Robin then regained movement and asked the most important question...

"Do you have one of those Suntan Lotion shirts in burgundy?"

Starfire gave Robin a worried look. The Boy Wonder sighed, "I will think about the therapy.."

Starfire turned to the girl, "But why, may I ask, are you selling sun block that protects one's skin in a dark, foggy, cold, damp and deserted swamp "slash" salt marsh?"

The sun lotion girl was silenced. Then, looking left to right she replied, "Would you believe that you _can_ get sunburned in these kinds of conditions?"

Starfire gasped, horrified, "I will take twenty!"

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"I can't believe you,"

Beast Boy looked away from Raven dejectedly and disgusted, " I would SO rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty!"

Raven rolled her eyes, "Beast Boy, I'm a girl and if you have not noticed, Mr. Peanut and Mr. Salty are guys.. Guy...peanuts.. And, a little fun fact for you, Mr. Peanut is gay,"

"GASP! How DARE you defy the sexuality of Mr. Peanut! Is it his fault that his mother wanted a girl peanut so bad she used to dress him up as a girl?"

Raven threw her hands over her head, "How the hell did we even get INTO this discussion?"

Beast Boy began to give Raven the "411", "Well, I asked if Cyborg had peanuts and you said that you thought that he did and it was the kind with Mr. Peanut on it. Then I said that Mr. Peanut is so much better than Mr. Salty. You said that you didn't care if both of them fell into the depths of hell. I cried for 20 minutes and then asked between Peanut and Salty, which one would you want to be. You said if you would absolutely had to answer or be tortured with hot sticks, you would say you'd rather be Mr. Salty. Then I said–"

"SHUT UP!"

Beast Boy clamped his mouth shut. They continued walking around the banks of the swamp "slash" salt marsh shore. Raven then pondered, 'What the hell are we doing here?'. Beast Boy pondered, 'How do they get those little M's on M and M's?" (Couldn't use and symbol.)

Raven looked up to the moon, seeing all of the craters, letting the glow shine on her face. Beast Boy looked to her and smiled dreamily. He was so lucky that she got hammered that night..

BB quietly took his hand and encased it with Raven's. They seemed to fit perfectly. No protests were admitted through Raven. She gladly wrapped her slender fingers around the changeling's knuckles.

Hearts fluttered, much to the dismay to the readers who want humor. Oh well, too bad. You are getting the mushy lovey-dovey stuff!

Beast Boy began to get brave and leaned over a bit and grazed Raven's cheek with his lips. Raven turned her head his way though, so he ended up on her lips. Heat waves could be seen around them. They stopped on the bank right where the evergreens seemed to touch the moon.

Hands were held, bodies were close and lips cracked open for one another. Closing her eyes, Raven went all the way and pressed her lips against his. There was no need to pry open lips, the welcome mats were out.

As Raven ran her fingers through Beast Boy's hair, she began to smile to herself and finally admit, 'Maybe he'll make a good B.F. after all,'

Pulling away for breath, Beast Boy breathed out, "No one's around Raven.. Wanna take a swim?"

Raven turned toward the muddy swamp and cringed. Like hell she'll skinny dip in there. But when looking to Beast Boy's seductive eyes, she smiled.

Beast Boy put his hands on Raven's cloak hook, "May I?"

Raven whispered, "Be my guest.."

BB ripped off Raven's cloak. No really...

_**RIP! **_

"..."

"I got a closet full of them,"

"Oh, good!"

The clothing stripped off thereafter and Raven stood by the edge of the water, slowly dipping her big toe into the mud.

Beast boy already waded into the dirty water and swam over to Raven. With reflexes of a cat, he pulled on her foot and in she went.

"You bastard.."

The chase was on, kissing in between and the whole deal. They were alone, young and in love.

Only...they weren't alone...

Raven popped her head out the murky water to see a cloaked man, or figure with a hockey mask on. She froze in her spot, breasts just beneath the surface of the water.

"Beast Boy.." Raven whispered desperately. Beast Boy swam beside Raven and looked at her horrified face. Traveling her eyes, he found the cause..

"Oh my God.."

The figure stood there, like it was waiting for something...or someone.

"What is that?"

Beast Boy began to sink into the muddy water, "It's...J-A-S-O-"

"–Oh my God.."

"I know.."

So, let's recap shall we? Our two lovebirds are naked in the water, a maniac is waiting for them on the bank, and their clothes are right by his feet.

Raven gulped and half shouted, "Who...Who are you and what do you want?"

J-man (code name..oh yeah..) pointed his gloved finger at her. Raven felt her breath get caught in her throat.

"No..Wait I'm sorry.. The naked green guy next to you,"

Raven sighed in relief, "Oh ok good. You can have him,"

Beast Boy's eyes widened as he saw Jason walk into the water, right up to them, well, him. Raven slunk away to the shore and began to put on her clothes, prepared to leave him there.

Beast Boy breathed short gasps now as Jason ran a gloved finger down his bare chest. On land, Raven held a quizzical look. What the hell was going on? Oh my God... Could Jason be making a move on BB?

A gruff voice admitted through the mask, "I've been waiting for so long... Now I finally have you. So, it is time to show you my face.."

Beast Boy was busy having a heart attack to hear him.

Slowly the mask was lifted off and it was none other than...

**ANOTHER HOCKEY MASK! **

"Like I was really going to show you my face,"

Beast Boy gulped. Jason moved closer to him, little moans echoing off of the maniac.

BB had to think of a plan and quick. Once words popped into his head, he babbled out, "You don't want me! You want Robin! He wears thongs and is crazy!"

Jason put a finger to his chin in thought. Robin was a good package deal: Insaneness, thong-ness, gel-haired-ness, and raw sexual magnitude. Okay, three out of four ain't bad.

"Tell me.. Where do I find this...Robin?"

Beast Boy whispered out his answer.

"By the candy aisle.."

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"As you can see Sam, no one knows what it's like to be rejected by Regis Filman.."

And there was the other lovely couple...

Cyborg was being held by none other than Samara Morgan. Her slimy, deteriorating finger ran up and down Cyborg's robotic arm, "I can imagine.."

Cyborg nodded pitifully, "Yeah..It is. At least I have someone now who understands. Even though people have heart attacks whenever they see your ugly, deteriorating, slimy face,"

Samara narrowed her eyes, "Yeah... Thanks."

Cy put his arms around Samara's neck, and kissed her moldy cheek.

"So what are you doing here anyway?"

Samara looked around expectantly, "I heard from one of my hippie victims say that a Woodstock gig was going on here.."

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Cyborg we're baa-AAAHHHHH!"

Samara and Cyborg snapped their heads up from their "bird watching". Robin covered his eyes from the sight of the maniac girl. He grabbed Starfire and shoved her forward.

"Take her instead! Spare me!"

**_SLAP! _**

Robin rubbed his sore cheek. Starfire huffed.

And in came Raven and Beast Boy, covered in mud and guck. Robin piped up, "Well it looks like someone had fun.."

"Shut up Thong Boy,"

Raven peered over Starfire's shoulder to see Samara.

"Oh my God.. Samara? Is that you?"

Samara stood up abruptly, "Rae-Rae? Rae-Rae is that _you_?"

Raven smiled broadly, "Of course it is! Can't you recognize me?"

Samara rubbed her crusty eyelids, "No, guck is getting into my eyes.."

Both the girls rushed over to each other and embraced. The others stood awkwardly in the damp forest. Why couldn't these random people just leave them alone?

Beast Boy coughed, "Mind telling us who this is?"

Raven turned to her boyfriend and smiled broadly once more, "Guys, I'd like you to meet Samara Morgan, my colleague at Dead Man's Institute,"

Samara laughed a bit, "Yeah, we're pretty close.. Especially after October 32nd.."

Cyborg coughed, "October _32nd_?"

Raven elbowed Samara, "Sam... Don't start.."

Beast Boy's eyes lit up. This was his chance to witness girl on girl porn!

'_She really must love me!' _

Samara ignored the black bird and told her story, "It was a Friday. There was a party going on at the institute and, of course, there was booze. So, I got a bit tipsy and Raven suddenly came into my room wearing a pink lampshade. One thing led to another and.."

Beast Boy almost exploded out of his body from excitement, "You guys did it?"

Raven smoked from BB's gay-porno-obsession stage, "No, we just kissed. That was it, and that is all,"

Raven's mud-caked cape billowed once more out of site as she descended into the pathetic mess of a tent.

Beast Boy whispered to Samara, "Now that Raven's gone.."

"Oh we kissed it up real nice.."

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x

(The following is for **Mephisto2022**)

"Rae...? Raaaaaavennnnn... Raven...?"

"She's sleeping.."

"Oh come on Rae. How can you sleep when Jason's out there–not to mention an insane suntan lotion girl Robin and Starfire were going on about..?"

Raven shut her eyes more tightly, trying to block out the changeling's voice. Beast Boy wrapped his arms around her figure, trying to cuddle. Raven sighed. All she wanted was some sleep.

"What are you doing up anyway?"

It was BB's turn to sigh, "Robin and Starfire are so _loud_. And believe me, they're not talking about pretty pink dresses,"

Raven dug her face into the lavender pillow. She knew it wasn't a good idea to have a conjoined tent. Turning over on her back, Raven rubbed her tired eyes and tried to block out the night noises.

"So.. Are you still going with Mr. Salty?"

"Argh.."

Beast Boy propped himself on his elbow and tried to reason with Raven, "Let's do something fun. How about, um, we..you know.."

"Beast Boy, we're not acting out Annie again,"

BB pouted, "Please...?"

"No. And if you try and bribe and persuade me, "tomorrow" won't come at all,"

BB cringed from the tone, but then smiled as an idea or visual scene formed in his mind, "Do you have that lavender scent on again?"

Raven poked up an eyebrow, "...Yeah..."

Beast Boy persisted, "Well, I have on my Ax cologne... What do you say we...mix it up?"

Raven raised both neatly waxed eyebrows, "You have Ax on? You _own_ Ax?"

"Is it my fault that I took a Curious sample instead of the cologne one?"

Beast Boy tried to get back on the subject at hand, "Anyway.. Do you wanna make some cupcakes?"

Raven groaned, "So tired.."

Beast Boy pursued his destiny, "How about we do it and I'll take that bid on Ebay,"

Raven's eyes let up in hope, "The Teapot one?"

BB nodded. Raven then gave her answer by leaning over and kiss tenderly on Beast Boy's neck. Beast Boy chuckled, knowing that he could break her. He dug his fangs gently into Raven's neck and nipped it. Raven wrapped her arms around the other neck and kissed passionately, digging her tongue into BB's mouth. Running her tongue against his fangs, Raven felt the sharp points dig into her taste buds.

In the rush of feelings, Beast Boy began to undo the hidden buttons on Raven's leotard. Raven began stripping down Beast Boy's nightshirt with both hands, but kept her steady kiss going. Now only in thong, boxers, and darkness, the two proceeded the events of canoodling.

Yes...canoodling...

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"I thought it was most wonderful enduring the wild in a tent of rubbish!"

Robin bit his lip, looking to the injured Cyborg, "Yeah... Before that porcupine went all...pointy.."

Raven put her hands on her hips, "Yeah, but who's dumb enough to get attacked by a porcupine?"

Cyborg shouted his muffled defense from his ice pack, "It looked like a hairpiece! I had every right to try it on!"

The others did the last of the packing and stuffed it all into the trunk of the T-Car. Raven proceeded to climb into the backseat along with BB and Starfire while Robin took the wheel and the wounded soldier whimpered in pain.

The car ride home was unusually quite. What could be said after Robin walked in on BB and Raven canoodling and mistook Beast Boy as Starfire? And, what could be said after photographical proof of Raven's institute lovin'?

Robin piped up, "Hey, you know what I don't get? How this chapter is so freakin long but made absolutely no sense whatsoever?"

Starfire complied, "The author shall make up for it in the "juicy" chapters to come with Robin making a music video with the song, "Wonder Boy"."

Raven put her head in her hand bored, "You know what _I_ don't get? How a certain someone mistook Beast Boy for Starfire."

Beast Boy groaned, "Yeah dude, you really put out my back..."

Cyborg strained, "Dude, this is like the time you mistook_ me_ for Starfire and jumped in the shower with me!"

Robin fumed, "Is that 'never mentioning it again'!"

Silence engulfed the car.

"... Beast Boy has two copies of _Anne_."

"Star!"

"What? I thought we were naming embarrassing things our friends have done."

"Well in that case..." Raven rolled out a long scroll of embarrassment, "Let's see.. Let's start alphabetically, shall we?"

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"And who can forget the time Cyborg was banned from Pottery Barn for not giving up the pink Pashmina? They had to nearly drag him out of the store to keep him away from it–"

"–OKAY Raven! That's enough."

"Well, we're back in Jump City. I'm just going to go into Publix for a sec. I need to get some more peanuts."

"Oh, Robin! Get the ones with Mr. Peanut not Mr. Salty!"

Robin hesitated with his leg half out of the car door, "The gay one right?"

Beast Boy's eyes filled with tears and leaned into Raven's side and cried out, "No one understands him!"

Robin slunk out of the car and went into the candy aisle. Browsing at the peanut labels, searching for the specific kind, Robin felt hot breath on his neck. Turning slowly around, he saw what appeared to be a white hockey mask.

"Who-who are you?"

"Oh you know who I am, Dick.."

The maniac stepped up closer to the horror stricken Boy Wonder.

Randomly, Jason looked up to the sign that hung over the aisle to see the words '**Candy Aisle**'.

"He was right! Robin is _in fact_ in the candy aisle!"

* * *

A/N: That's me, sprinkling some randomness into the already random chapter. I just had to do a camping trip though! Sorry that there's not much action with Robin and Starfire here but I'll put some more in the next chappie. 

_Strip Off Your Socks!  
_Sound Clip: "Hah! I got five aces. You lose buddy boy! Strip it off!" The poker table was then dowsed in "Strip it off" chants. Beast Boy sighed. He was down to his last clothing item he had been trying to savor. "Okay, fine!" Slowly, he unbuttoned his...button down shirt to reveal a frightful scene. Robin gaped, "Oh my God... Is that a tattoo of Hugh Grant on your stomach!"

(Credits to Invader Puppet for the strip poker idea)

_I Knew Thee Well...Couch...  
_Sound Clip: "So your telling me that you.." Cyborg choked back on tears and forced himself to say the words, "That you _gave away_ Sonya?" Raven raised her eyebrows, "Who's Sonya?" Beast Boy replied, "The couch. Sonya the couch." Robin tried to reason with the shaken robot, "Cyborg, Sonya was old and needed to be replaced." "With a CANOE?" Robin calmly replied, "That was Beast Boy's fault. HE was the one who picked it up at the furniture store under Charlie Bleninski." Beast Boy corrected, "MS. Charlie Bleninski."

Pick em' while they're hot. Again, sorry for the long wait. I think I've paid you guys back with a random-ful chappie!

Cheerio my minions!


	14. Strip Off Your Socks!

**Jadedea- **Thanks! Mr. P really is misunderstood. No one knows how hard it is to have a job being around cans and nuts all day. Cliffhangers are so wonderful, aren't they? Vote has been tallied!

**Loch Ness Monster- **Another chair victim! -runs to Loch Ness with ice pack- AHA! I have reached one insane person closer to my goal of total insaneness! Thanks!

**Jackdaw-** Canoodling-(verb) informal kiss and cuddle amorously. :D Vote has been entered!

**Darkofthenight- **A new reviewer! YaY! Thankies! I shall update very soon this time! Welcome aboard!

**Invader Puppet and Invader Cloudie- **Hahaha! I heart sleep overs! Both of your votes have been accounted for! Happy pillow fighting!

**AnnMari123- **Thanks! Nope, I came up with that but on my own. I never saw That 70's Show before. My friend Steph says I'm not American cause I haven't. -shrugs- oh well! Vote has been placed! I'll try to do something like the Exorcist but it might be kinda hard cause I never seen that movie before. To MOVIE TRAILERS I GO!

**Raven of the Night 676- **Scary randomness is my specialty! Sorry my friend but the lovey dovey shall continue. How about this: I'll do it in a way that it's funny, ok? The Rae and/or Star stuff will come. Can't rush these things, now can we?

**wickedwitch9- **Votes galore! Oh my God I know! He seriously needs braces...

**Emmery- **Finally! A vote for Couch! But there is tuff competition. Who can top a title with "strip" in it -rolls eyes-... ...O.O Um... I don't need to ask. It's all clear to me..

**Ocelot The Revolver- **YaY! Another new reviewer! Thanks a lot! I enjoyed your _nice, long_review ;)

**The-InFamous-Bounty-Hunter - **w00t! Such an awesome chap for all, huh? And yes, it is an uber-ific word. Dunno if I'll do Cy/Sam... Hmm...

**Mephisto12002- **'Specially for you! -hugs- Hah, I did kind of go overboard with Cy/Regis.. Ah well.. You can't return a character twice. It gets boring sometimes unless you really know how to do it right. He probably won't return...for awhile anyway -laughs evilly-

**theflamehat- **Go BB/Rae! Vote has been placed in the spinny-barrel thingie!

**TerraKagomeShioriLogan-** Oh, I've already read Triforce's stories. Very funny! I'm glad I make you laugh! Laughter is the best medicine (no that's love...wait...no...laughter...-confused-) Thanks for all your compliments, but if I wrote out each 'thank you' it take up a whole freakin' page... Ah, another no-more-mushy-more-humor conflict. God people look at the category of this story. _Humor AND Romance! _But if you really want me to stop I will.

**devinedevi- **Haha, chap 5 really hit it off didn't it? Robin's secrets and others' secrets shall be revealed in a chapter that's coming up after chapter 15. Always, The Laugh Master :)

**Tidus'luvr- **-looks around- who's Tidus? Anyway, the things you never thought someone would do are about to become reality my friend.

**Chibi Scooby- **Socks is getting the spotlight. That last chapter was supposed to disturb you and my goal was completed.

**boynetough- **Interesting way to spell 'bone' if I do say so myself. Well, according to my reality, since Cy said he was going cross country to the Titans _East_ Tower and the name of Titans East is well..._East_ I thought that the Titans Tower was in Cali. But then again, in the first ep, Cy said he was halfway to _Gotham_ before Star "zapped that thing" off his back. And, (there's more?) In the future it was snowy in Jump City so I guess it's undetermined to the writers. Wooow long post.. (at least on WP) ((word perfect)). Randomness is next to Insaneness I always say. I shall check out your "crappy" story. ;)

**Saint H- **Hmmm H... What does it stand for, oh what does it stand for? Mt. Saint _H_elens? Who knows! For your first review I have only this to say: M, short! And as for the second, I do not see the jerkiness that you say is in that review.. Meh, this is when my clueless-ness comes in handy! Anywayssssss... Another BFS fan! YaY! Oh pats on the back...manly... Lol..

**jadeflower82- **Oh I think everyone knows that Socks is the next chapter... I will explain my lateness with this chap if you scroll down please...

Anyone else watch The Starlet on Tuesday? **(posted this like a thousand weeks ago so please bear with me) **Phff, I thought Mercedes should have won but I am SO glad that Katie got the boot. She a little bitch, yes? Ahem. Just thought I'd share my insights. Back to the TT story...

I have some new ideas for this insane story my fellow maniacs. I decided that there would probably be 3 more chapters. Four at max. Then I shall make a sequel– hopefully it won't be one where it dies in the first three chapters. I'll see what I'll do when we get there.

**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THOSE WHO READ AND FOLLOW THE STORY RATINGS: **This story will probably become M, now that I have had chapters with sexual scenes and "lemon" -enforces quotation marks-. Just a warning to what might be coming up to those who follow the ratings. To the ones who don't, don't even bother straining your eyes to read this pointless announcement.

I am SO sorry that I've waited this long to write and submit this chapter. Things got in the way such as a Science Project thing (which I got NO reward for!), writer's block, a computer malfunction (damn Dell's!) Ok well, not a "malfunction"... I slammed into the pc when my friends were over and broke the keyboard thing which resulted four days with no computer for I had no keyboard.. And lastly, it's SPRING BREAK YA MORONS! I HAVE A LIFE! I WENT TO THE CITY! -ahem- so there are explanations to the problem! But I'm back and ready for action!

**ANOTHER WARNING YOU MUST READ: This chapter may not seem that funny if you don't know how tp play card games, but since I love you guys so much, I went online and looked up how to play these games..** **You may also be confused to what is going on if you don't know how to play Craps or Poker!**

To the Chapter of SOCKS!

_Putting The 'I-N' Into Insanity _

Chapter 14: _Strip Off Your Socks! _

"Now, if I were that Donald Trump guy, I'd spend all that moolah on a golden toilet that has a recliner seat, cup holders, built-in massager and a side panel with a cooler full of beer."

Cyborg raised an eyebrow as he peered over to BB from the TV screen, "You don't even like beer.."

Beast Boy shrugged, "Hey, I'd be rich."

Cyborg turned fully around to face the changeling, "But..why?"

Beast Boy flicked the channel to E, "Why not?"

Yep, another lazy Sunday for the triumphant team of supers. No robberies, no super-baddies, no random people showing up at their door... Just a lazy, boring Sunday that caused the dynamic duo (Cy and B) to watch E!.

"_Are you ready for the adventure, the man, the desire?"_

Cyborg answered the movie preview on the TV, "Hmm.. I'll take adventure and desire for 500 Alex!"

"_One man... one decision... one desire... Hugh Grant this summer is– NOOOOOOO!" _

BB and Cy leaned into the television set in fascination as Hugh stretched out his hand, running in slow motion. A flash of light lit up on the tube and words appeared before them:

"_Little Tortilla Boy..." _

**((Pablo Francisco is the best!))**

"Oooohh! We gotta go see that movie!"

Starfire walked into the room as the title was on the TV and BB was jumping up and down, "Has your autobiography aired on the television Beast Boy?"

Cyborg turned around in his seat toward the confused damsel, "Yes Starfire, Beast Boy is IN FACT the Little Tortilla Boy."

Raven ran into the room, "Guys, run. Robin is wearing his poker hat! You know what this means.."

Beast Boy threw down the TV Guide, "Aw man, are we going to have to pose naked with only poker cards covering us for Rolling Stone again?"

Cyborg shushed the changeling, "Shh man, you know Robin loves to undress in front of everyone and have people question his sexuality!"

BB sighed, exasperating, "Yeah but can't we do something else to pass the time? Like go see a movie or play Truth or Dare?"

Starfire spoke up, "But Beast Boy, don't you remember what happened last time?"

_**Flashback! **_

"_Ok Robin.. Truth or Dare?" _

"_Truth of course!" _

_Cyborg chuckled demonically, "You asked for it.. Have you ever posed for playboy as a criminal being "searched" by a policeman?" _

_Raven rolled her eyes, "Cy, you have to ask him something that he might have actually done!" _

_Everyone turned toRobin questionably. _

_Sweat formed on the Boy Wonder's head as he quivered out his answer, "Phff, no!" _

_Cyborg smiled evilly, "Then how do you explain THIS?" _

"_OH MY GOD! COVER YOUR EYES STAR! DON'T LOOK AT IT! DEAR LORD CY! BEAST BOY! **STOP FREAKIN STARING AT IT!**" _

_**End Flashback! **_

"Robin has sworn us all never to play it again unless we somehow gather up bunches of Mr. Salty peanuts."

Robin then entered the room carrying a huge round table, a deck of poker cards, chips and...a big thumb finger..

"You guys know what time it is?"

Raven started with a deadpan voice, "Time to humiliate ourselves in front of Rolling Stone again?"

Robin huffed, "Hey! I saw you smiling holding that Joker over your boob!"

Raven put her hands on her hips, "And I saw _you_ smiling as the photographer was fixing that King of Hearts over your willie..."

Starfire gasped, "GASP! Robin! Have you forgotten what we talked about?"

Cyborg cut into the conversation that was going _quite_ well, "Okay, not that I don't want to go down the road of Robin's questionable behavior and gayness AGAIN but we already did that story plot line so what are you doing with the poker stuff?"

Robin got back on track, "Well, it's a boring, rainy Sunday and I thought we could play some good ol' fashion POKER!"

Beast Boy gazed at the thumb finger, "And the finger?"

Robin looked up at it then back to BB, "That's just for show."

Since there was nothing else to do that day, the five set up the table and chairs and proceeded to try and teach Starfire the ropes of playing. Oh what fun and enjoyment!

"Hey guys.. Why don't we make this interesting.."

Raven looked to the Little Tortilla Boy from her hand, fascinated, "What did you have in mind?"

BB innocently smiled, "Ohhhh I don't knoooow... Maybe... STRIP POKER!"

Cyborg got up from his seat and hugged BB, "Thank you.."

Starfire cocked her head to one side, "What is this "strip" poker?"

Robin gladly (almost too gladly) explained, "It's when you lose a hand, you gotta strip off a piece of clothing. Usually, you start off with your socks and work your way...up.."

Starfire nodded eagerly and focused on her cards and happily replied, "King me!"

x0x0x0x0x0xx0x00xx0x0x0x0xx0x0x00x0x0x0x0x00x

"Did you guys ever hear the "wille" story?"

"RAVEN! NO!"

Cyborg took a slug of his root beer (the kind with the bulldog!), "Oh, where he wanted to go to the beauty parlor with his mom?"

Starfire shook her head, "No, you are once again confusing Friends with Teen Titans, Cyborg."

"Is it my fault that Rachel and Joey are meant to be together?"

Robin peeked out from his hand, "So, what's the willie story?"

Raven opened her mouth to say something, but Beast Boy quickly covered it, "It's nothing!"

Cyborg quietly stared at the couple then returned to his cards, "Okay, Robin. In or out?"

Robin threw one of his red chips into the pile, "Oh, I'm very in."

"Raven?"

"Yep, I can smell the money."

"...Starfire...?"

Starfire smiled gleefully, "I have the amount of fours you are referring to!"

Cyborg massaged his temples, "Star, you're not supposed to tell us you're going for fours!"

Starfire looked to her cards questionably, then held them out for Cy to see, "I _am_ going for the fours, yes?"

Raven nodded, "Yes Star, but the idea is to bluff and to NOT show us or TELL us what you're going for."

Cyborg went over to Beast Boy, "You in?"

Beast Boy glumly looked down at his cards. A four, a three, a seven, and a ten...

"Uh...no.."

Cyborg and Robin hive-fived, "You know what that means!"

Cyborg brought out a radio and played Ciara's "My Goodies", "Strip off yo socks!"

Beast Boy laughed, "Hah, you guys, it's only socks. Don't think I'm going to be half naked before 10 PM..."

X0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Rob, you owe me ten bucks."

Robin reluctantly did so, placing the two fives into Cyborg's awaiting hand.

And there Beast Boy sat. He was pink-faced and only was in his button-down shirt. Cyborg whistled a catty call, then laughed, slapping his knee.

The Titans all had stripped off some type of clothing. Starfire was down to her bra, bell-bottom jeans and tank-top, Robin had only his boxers and socks (he decided to strip off his pants first...feisty bird..), Cyborg was home free since he is _technically_ naked and Raven had on her full attire, only her socks were missing.

Robin reshuffled his cards lazily, "You know what this reminds me of? That night we went to Las Vegas..."

Groans were admitted throughout the round table. Robin saw this and continued, "And Starfire decided to play Craps..."

Raven held up a hand to her aching head and continued Robin's story, "And then she thought the name of the game was the curse so she started to swear uncontrollably for money–which she did get–and made 500 bucks somehow..."

Cyborg studied his cards, "Yeah, who wouldn't want to see a hot alien girl curse out the entire crowd?"

Beast Boy sighed, remembering how he had to pay for the damages in the hotel room, and he spread open his legs. Raven saw this and looked down.

"Um, Beast Boy? Your aircraft carrier is taking off..."

Beast Boy looked down and gasped, and closed his legs together tight.

"Okay, it's that time again... You in Rob?"

"I fold like a cheap man with a case of Hemorrhoids..."

Everyone was silenced.

Raven scrunched up her nose, disgusted, "Do you?"

Robin shook his head innocently, "Oh..I'm out.."

A chorus of "oh"'s went around the table as Robin sat his cards down.

"Star?"

"Um..What is the "pot"?"

Cyborg looked into the rising green bush of moolah, "Uh..15...40...Uhh.. 100 bucks.."

"Oh, I am out.."

"Rae?"

"Mm..Yep, I'm out."

Cyborg looked haughtily at the green boy that was trying to cover all his parts with only a shirt.

"Loser?"

BB smiled triumphantly, "Nope," and threw in a chip.

Cyborg sighed with a smile, knowing all too well how this was going to end, "How many do you want?"

"One.."

"Ok..Two for the dealer.."

Cyborg settled in his card, "Ok grass stain. Whatcha bet?"

Beast Boy evilly smiled, "10 bucks.."

Gasps were heard around the intense table.

"Alrighty, I see your 10..and I raise you...25.."

Cyborg threw it in happily.

The rest of the Titans eyes grew enormously at the growing pot.

Starfire looked on amazed, "Damn..."

Beast Boy collected some of his chips, "I see your 25 and I raise you 30.."

Cyborg sighed and got out his wallet, "I raise you 2 dollars.."

Beast Boy stared at the pile and then to his cards, "Call."

Cyborg settled back into his chair, "Whatcha got?"

Beast Boy laid down his precious specimens, "Flush.."

Starfire ran out of the room. A swirling noise could be heard down the hall where the bathroom was. She came back satisfied and sat down quietly.

Everyone stared.

Cyborg returned back to the task at hand "...ok... Anyway.. HAH! I got four sixes! You lose buddy boy! Strip it off!"

The poker table was then dowsed in "Strip it off" chants. Beast Boy sighed. He was down to his last clothing item he had been trying to savor.

"Okay, fine!"

Slowly, he unbuttoned his...button down shirt to reveal a frightful sight.

Robin gaped, "Oh my God... Is that a tattoo of Hugh Grant on your stomach!"

Sweat trickled down BB's forehead as he tried to come up with an exclamation, "They were out of JLO! This was all they had left!"

Robin turned to Raven, "And YOU of ALL people who've seen him nude, didn't know this?"

Raven rolled her eyes, "Robin, I tend to stay more in _this_ region," Raven made a gesture below her abdomen, "Than _this_ region," She made another gesture above her feminine parts. She triumphantly picked up her orange Fanta and took a sip.

Cyborg narrowed his eyes at her, "Wait a minute...didn't you say that _you and_ B were going to the tattoo parlor last Tuesday?"

Raven choked on her Fanta by surprise and coughed up, "N-no!"

Starfire perked up, "Yes you did! You said that you and Beast Boy were going to get ink grinded into your skins... Raven?"

Raven looked worriedly to Starfire.

"What did _you _get?"

Raven sat still in her chair. Maybe if she didn't move, no one would see her.

Robin got up from his chair and jumped onto the poker table and pointed savagely toward Raven, "Get her!"

Everyone, excluding BB who was trying to hide certain areas, leapt onto Raven's poor fragile body. They tore off her cloak first and searched at the nape of her neck down. They then turned her over and ripped off her 'Don't Get Me Mad, I'm Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies' tee.

"GASP!"

"GASP!"

"The GASP!"

Robin covered his eyes, "OMFG John Travolta's face is resting upon her belly button! CALL 911!"

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Well, I'd have to say that was an eventful, and not to mention fun, evening."

Robin agreed, "Yeah, except when we ran out of real money and had to replace it with Monopoly money.."

Beast Boy happily bounded over, "What are you complaining about? I got Park Place!"

Cyborg sat down on the couch and counted his cash, "You know, BB, tonight I saw more of the BOY than the BEAST.."

Starfire ran up beside BB with joy dancing in her eyes, "I wish for you friend to UNLEASH THE BEAST!"

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow then called out, "Anyone seen the Pepto-bismal?"

* * *

A/N: Ok, not the greatest chapter in the world but w/e.. I've been working on some one-shots, including_ There's A Hero _and _A Night Without Armor_. Also a fanfic titled _The Real Horror_ and adding more chapters to _Behind The Demeanor._ Not to mention coming up with new ideas for this story and its sequel. So, there's the other reasons why this chapter is late and kinda crappy.

Next chapter (which will probably be the third to last one) sound clip:

_I Knew Thee Well...Couch... _

Sound Clip: "So your telling me that you.." Cyborg choked back on tears and forced himself to say the words, "That you _gave away_ Sonya?" Raven raised her eyebrows, "Who's Sonya?" Beast Boy replied, "The couch. Sonya the couch." Robin tried to reason with the shaken robot, "Cyborg, Sonya was old and needed to be replaced." "With a CANOE?" Robin calmly replied, "That was Beast Boy's fault. HE was the one who picked it up at the furniture store under Charlie Bleninski." Beast Boy corrected, "**MS.** Charlie Bleninski."

And aside from the fact... **I GOT MY BOTTOM BRACES OFF! w00t!**

Luv ya with a side of gravy!


	15. I Knew Thee Well Couch

A rustle is heard in the bushes... Followed by a scream of a gay boy wonder... Then followed shortly after by a wild cursing hot alien... From afar comes the genius yet slightly disturbed writer that most of you (that are also slightly disturbed) have come to know and -insert adjective here- ... XxHot92xX!

Hey peoples! Ya miss me?

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**Raven of the Night676- **Thanks for being so understanding! I am now all together, except for my head but you needs that anyway? Here comes our long awaited chappie!

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It feels so nice to finally reply to reviews again! I only replied to those on the first page of reviews so I didn't get to reply to a lot of chap 14ers. Sorry about that but thanks for all that reviewed!

Thank you SOOOO MUCH guys for being so understanding and giving people who didn't understand viruses! I feel nice and refreshed (except getting all of my old files deleted but hey what can you do?) And I'm on to getting this chappie FINALLY written and published!

Sit back tight and watch the little black formations take up the screen as CHAPTER 15 rolls in to take over the INTERNET –maniacal laughter–

_Putting the 'IN' Into Insanity_

Chapter 15: _I Knew Thee Well...Couch... _

**10:05 AM **

"YES!"

Cyborg and BB leaned forward on the cushions of the couch anxiously waiting for their prize.

'_And the results are in. For those just tuning in, we asked our viewers if Robin has what it takes to beat the Japanese Emperor Kuashja May I TickleYourPickle Foojii Lananana. And here it is... People_ _have decided, based on logic and the...weird... things that has been happening in the Titans household, that Emperor Lananana would win this duel! For those who've placed bets will earn their earning by the end of this week. Let's give a hand to the viewers that voted and betted most on Lananana, BB and CY!" _

Cyborg and Beast boy leaped up into the air in rejoice and bounced up and down on the couch chanting, "Lananana! Lananana! Lananana!"

Squeaks of old hinges and springs were heard from the old ass supporter but no one took head to its warnings...

**10:53 AM **

"ROBIN! COME DOWN HERE NOW AND ENJOY THE BLOOD FLOW THOUGH YOUR VEINS AT AN ACCELERATED RATE!"

Starfire stood in the middle of the den in an 80's exercise jumpsuit with vibrant colors and patterns. This one sported a red, green, yellow, blue and orange neon circle pattern that stitched itself across her arms, thighs and lower abdomen. A purple base color splashed itself everywhere else. Bunched up socks stretched up Star's lower legs and she wore red socks upon her feet that clashed horribly with her jumpsuit.

"I'm not coming out like this!"

Starfire called out, "Please?"

"NO!"

Starfire began to think. '_What would Robin come out to see even if he was dressed in a way he did not enjoy?' _

A lightbulb appeared above her head as an idea struck her. Starfire then paused and searched for the new source of light. She looked up curiously and cautiously poked the little light bulb.

ANYWAY!

Starfire smiled and shouted out, "X'HAL! IT IS THE HUGH OF GRANT IN SPANDEX SWIM-WEAR!"

"Where, where?"

Robin ran out from behind the hallway wall, eyes darting back and forth searching for his treasure. He instantly deflated when Hugh G. was nowhere in sight, smell, hearing, or tasting.

Robin glared at the alien beauty, "You USED me! You can lie about anything! Anything EXCEPT Hugh Grant!"

Robin then realized where he was and what he was wearing..

A jumpsuit similar to Starfire's stretched and expanded across his muscular body. Green neon triangles stretched in every which way in a black background along his upper arms and thighs. On huge neon triangle fit itself on Robin's _lower_ abdomen pointing downward. Solid red popped out everywhere else. In short, he looked like the gay 60's Robin that a mathematician threw up on...

"Starfire, _must_ I wear this? Can't I just exercise in sweats or something?"

Star gasped, "Robin! You must wear the traditional attire of the exercising styles of the Tameranian Gonkla!"

Robin sighed, "Of course...the Gonkla..."

Starfire smiled giddily as she slid the coffee table out of the way and proceeded to slip in a video cassette entitled "**Göñk_l_Ä**"

Instantly the room was illuminated in weird foreign music and gibberish language. Robin stood dumbfounded in the middle of this charade as Starfire followed along with the fat instructor in moves that consisted of twists and turns even loop-de-loops.

Starfire stretched and spun; jumped and kicked to the music. Her eyes traveled to Robin who stood there mist of body odor and sweat like a statue. Well, Starfire could simply not have this..

She grabbed onto the poor boy's arms and dragged him along with her. He felt the wind whip across the areas of his body that were not covered up by the hideous outfit. Suddenly he felt his face be pushed against the crack of two cushions. He nose filled up with the foul stench of moldy cheese as he descended deeper into the couch's cushions.

"What..are...you doing?"

His voice was muffled by the old dusty springs. Robin suddenly felt pressure on his back lightly bouncing about.

Above in the real world, Starfire had her eyes closed as she gently moved about Robin's spine to the instructor and music of the video. She touched her middle and thumb fingers together looking very much like Raven's during meditation.

Starfire responded quietly, "This is a Tameranian relaxation exercise to clear pressures in our partner's spinal cord."

Robin strained to hear what Star was saying but only caught bits and pieces that included: "relaxation exercise" and "spinal cord". He let out a sigh of relief as the calm video music took over his senses and the slightly weird yet wonderful massage by Star's feet let his stresses completely drain.

"OLA CONEY SPREE!"

Suddenly Robin endured incredible pain as Star's feet suddenly plowed into his spinal region forcefully. His head bobbled up and down rapidly as the music became faster and faster until he could no longer tell the difference between up, down, left or right.

The couches hinges squeaked and squawked; wailing from the pressure.

"StAaAaRrR!"

"OONA!"

Suddenly everything was silenced at once.

A tugging forced was pulling on Robin's body hard until he could no longer breathe. Outside the cheese-smelling cushions, Starfire was beat-red with blood pumping through her exercised veins looking puzzled at the couch with Robin's head inside.

"This is quite a problem..."

Robin's arms flailed wildly outside the cushions, "What!"

Starfire leaned into Robin's form and yelled, "YOUR HEAD APPEARS TO BE LODGED INTO THE SO-FA!"

Starfire then added pleasantly, "BUT DO NOT FEAR SNOOKY-POO! I SHALL FETCH THE BUTTER!"

The couch moaned in reply...

**12:00 PM**

Raven strolled into the living area sleepily. She had been up all night studying a new spell when Beast Boy swung open her door forcefully and said in what he thought was a sexy tone:

"_Let's dance..."_

So the night had proceeded in the events that will not be said but only imagined...

In her hands she held a book titled: _So Your Boyfriend Has An Obsession Over "John Travolta"?_

Raven walked over to the kitchen's counter and placed the book there. Slowly she prepared her morning tea; measuring the appropriate amounts of tea mix and boiling water. Mixing it daintily with a tiny spoon, she brought it to her lips and took a sip and inhaled the incense.

A smile slowly played across her lips as she took her tea and book and headed over to the couch. Raven placed the tea upon the coffee table and looked at the couch before she sat so she wouldn't sit on a remote or gum. An eyebrow raised from suspicion as she looked at what appeared to be butter or cream cheese smeared over two cushions.

Silently, Raven got up and fetched paper towels and fabric cleaner. She got down on her knees before the ass-supporter and scrubbed until the material looked half-way normal.

After living in the Titans household for 5 years, Raven was pretty much used to the weird sights and sounds of the Tower and learned to live with it without becoming practically insane.

Raven threw out the butter/cream cheese filled towels and picked up her book from the coffee table she had recently placed there and put it down on the couch. Then, picking up her hot tea, brushed off imaginary crumbs from the cushion and proceeded to lower herself down onto the sofa.

"RAVEN!"

A sigh admitted through her small mouth as she stood up from almost sitting down and relaxing. God forbid...

"Coming..."

Raven took her tea with her and headed toward the panicked sound of BB's voice.

**5 minutes later... **

"Why must the good die young Rae?"

Raven had the most emotionless look on her face as she carried a small box that must have been used for a piece of jewelry at one time. A red, puffy-eyed Beast Boy leaned on her shoulder, almost starting to weep again.

"Didn't I tell you a million times that if you put _Goldy_ in that Aquafall Water Fountain, he'd get sucked up into the mechanism...?"

(You know, those water fountains that look like windows with rain coming down them?)

Beast boy shamefully hung his head as they walked outside to a clear vacant spot to bury Goldy the Goldfish.

As Raven did the honors, BB's eyes nervously looked back and forth.

"You don't think Goldy will..._haunt_ me...do you?"

Raven patted the dirt softly and stood, "Beast Boy, I am tired..._so very tired_.. Must you go on with your idiotic questioning henceforth becoming annoyingly paranoid?"

Beast Boy stared blankly ahead past Raven and then walked toward the T-Tower muttering that he needed to get some cloves of garlic and make a necklace.

Raven slapped her hand to her forehead and let it slide down her face at his stupidity.

"Idiot.."

**Back inside...3 mins later... **

Raven had to make another cup of tea since BB threw the last cup onto Goldy, thinking he would revive him once Raven got him out of the mechanism.

At last, she took her cup and headed over to the couch. Slowly she descended herself onto the padding. Crossing her legs, she was about to take a sip of her warm, calming tea when–

_**CRRRRREAAAKKK... **_

_**PING ..**_

_**PING .. **_

_**CRACK! **_

The couch imploded itself onto the ground from over-use and old age. Dust filled the room and springs littered the floor from the explosion.

Once everything settled, a lone hand reached up out of the wreckage and pulled up a dust covered Raven whowore a deadpan expression.

"We might need a new couch..."

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"IT'S GOLDY'S CURSE I'M TELLING YA!"

"Beast boy it's not Goldy's curse. The couch was old and went through some rugged paths in it's life. Especially that night when you brought home a drunk Raven..."

Raven, Robin, and Beast Boy stood before the wreckage. All were stunned by how it just collapsed suddenly. Raven had wiped off all the dust and particles from herself but a spring was still lodged into her hair.

Robin lifted up a big piece of the armrest, "Yeah, we're gonna have to get a new one.."

Raven looked to the hallway where Cyborg's room was, "But what about Cyborg? You know how attached he is to this thing."

Robin pulled the spring from Raven's hair, "We just won't tell him. We'll get one that's just as good as this couch that he'll actually be glad that we got it."

Beast Boy grabbed onto Robin's sleeve, "No! It won't help! Goldy's gonna possess Cy and come to kill me for revenge!"

Robin looked to Raven questionably.

"His fish got sucked up into the mechanism of that Aquafall thing.."

Robin's eyes widened and then became normal once more after realizing the sitation, "Of course.."

Raven turned back to the task at hand, "Well how are we gonna get him not to notice that the couch is busted until we get the new one?"

Robin pulled BB off his shoulder, "You'll stay here and use your powers to dump the remains into the bay or something and distract Cy into not coming in this room. Beast Boy and I will go out and get the new couch."

Raven folded her arms, "And what will I do to distract him? He comes in here to get food you know."

Robin headed to the door with BB, "Use your imagination."

And with that, Raven was left alone with her thoughts on how to prevent a bloody rampage...

----------------------------- ---------------------------------- --------------------------------------

"Welcome to COUCH-A-PALOOZA! How may I seat you?"

An orange haired, acne-faced teenager met the two Titans at the door with flyers saying "SALE" on them stuffed in his pockets, ready to hand out. He leaned into their faces, his braces gleaming in the florescent lights.

Robin stepped back, "We're just here to browse, sir.."

The salesman nodded and then added thoughtfully, "Weren't you the guy that was attacked by Gay-Guy-Ness?"

Robin shook his head and pointed in BB's direction, "Nope that was him."

The awkward teen nodded vigorously, "Of course! He looks much gayer than you do."

Beast boy's brows furrowed as he dragged Robin away from the salesman to the land of couches.

"Whoa...Look at all of them... It's like the whole couch population in here."

Robin kneeled by a suede one and rubbed his cheek against it. A moan of pleasant bliss echoed off the walls causing customers to peer over to the two with disgusted looks. Robin, unbeknownst to the stares, hugged the arm and let his hand circle the soft, velvety material.

Beast Boy slid back away from the Boy Wonder and whistled innocently as if he did not know the embarrassing sight. He left Robin to satisfy he wants and needs (no matter how weird they might be) and went off to search for a new couch.

"Ooo.."

BB strolled over to a lady-bug printed one with fuzzy material. His eyes then swivelled toward a cow printed one. His eyes lit up in satisfaction as he quickly walked over to the piece of furniture.

Beast Boy plopped down onto it and felt himself sink into the cushions. His stress from the morning's previous events withered away. BB's hand landed on a hard plastic surface on the couch's arm. Curiosity played on his features as he eagerly press the button.

"_Moooo" _

"Hey Beast Boy! Look at this one!"

BB looked over toward Robbie who had planted his ass into an inflatable couch. Beast Boy, like a child on Christmas morn', ran to the object and sat down next to Robin. Both boys smiled with glee as they created little tunes with their fingers on the clear plastic surface.

They swayed to the little beat they had created. But poor Robin forgot that Starfire had pinned his boxers to his pants with a sharp safety pin so he wouldn't lose them again like last time...

_**POP!**_

Before either of them knew it, they were on the floor sitting on the deflated balloon-like couch.

Being superheroes, Robin and Beast Boy had loads of training in this sort of situation and knew exactly what to do.

"Hide the evidence Beast Boy!"

Yes, the Titan's comfort lied in the most definite reliable sources...

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'_Tap Tap'_

Raven stood outside Starfire's door waiting patiently. If she was to keep Cy out of the living area then she need all the help she could get.

4 minutes past when Raven started to get impatient.

'**KNOCK KNOCK' **

Finally the knob turn to reveal Starfire, or what Raven thought was her..

"Star...fire?"

What stood before Raven was a massive block of cheese. Yes, you read that right. A block of cheese. Starfire's head popped out one of the holes to reveal her giddy face painted yellow.

Raven hid her own face in her hands.

Starfire smiled even more widely and gave some information about her attire, "The heads of cheese are in the_ "play-offs_"! Oh Raven, may we please attend this joyous occasion?"

Raven stopped staring at Star's outfit long enough to get in a response, "Not now Starfire. We need to keep Cyborg out of the living room cause the couch sort of...died."

Starfire gasped loudly as her arms popped out of two more holes and placed her hands on her mouth.

"He will be most crushed!"

Raven peered down the hallway to make sure the metal man wasn't there, "And so will the tower if we don't stop him."

Starfire pulled off her cheese costume immediately and grabbed Raven's arm, pulling her down the hallway.

"I have the perfect idea, you mustn't worry!"

Raven reluctantly followed the alien who had just worn a cheese costume for the Green Bay Packers and thought to herself solemnly _'And it will all go downhill from here..' _

**A few moments later after "kidnaping" Cyborg and hauling him across town...**

"We have arrived! It is the place to meet and greet women and use your cunning ways to get them to use your, as Beast Boy puts it, _hose!_"

Starfire unwrapped Cy's blindfold and they stood outside a building with neon letters blinking:

**NICK-KNACK PATTY-WHACK**

Raven's eyes widened as she realized what this place was and prepared whether to kill Starfire silently or have the whole world watch.

Starfire stared at the two gawking Titans and looked to the building. After a few moments of silence, she grabbed their arms and hauled them inside.

The smell of booze and smoke was overwhelming to Raven's senses as her eyes adjusted to the dim light. Squinting over to Cyborg, she saw his mouth gape open and close like a fish without water as his mind was trying to comprehend the fact that they were in–

"A STRIP JOINT Star?"

Raven pulled Starfire aside and whispered violently to her. She ignored the gigantic ass that shook its way toward her.

"We're supposed to just distract him! Not let his overactive hormones land us all in prison!"

Starfire smiled giddily, "Oh Raven, do not fret! He will enjoy himself as will we."

Raven folded her arms defiantly, "No. I am NOT going to partake in these sexual activities that are so feminist that it's sick. And I'm sure Cyborg is not THAT thick-headed to just go up and start getting his "jollies" on."

Cyborg came running over to them with a smile that overtook his face.

"Star! Rae! Quick! Give me a dollar! A Brazilian belly dancer is giving lap dances!"

Raven's face deflated as Starfire gladly handed him a twenty.

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"Too girly, too buggy, too fruity, too gay..."

Who knew picking out a sofa could be so time consuming and such a delicate task? One false move and your butt is in the hospital and you're charged with ass abuse. Yes it can happen! Why do you think Robin went insane back there?

Robin scouted Couch-A-Palooza looking for the perfect sofa. It couldn't be too firm, **yet not too soft! **You could sink into it and the next thing you know, you have to call the paramedics to get BB out of the couch's grasp. You could just never tell with couches.

Beast Boy could be spotted nearby Robin's frantic pacing, sleeping on a love seat. Robin walked over to him and sat down, head in his hands.

"I can't take all this pressure beast Boy. This couch or that couch? An ottoman? Or a footrest? It's all too much!"

Beast Boy groggily sat up and stared into space and retrieved a 5 dollar bill from an invisible pocket on his spandex, "Here. Go to the Yogurt Deluxe, get yourself some strawberry goulash or whatever you like and let me handle the sofa. Va bene?"

Robin, with wide eyes, took the bill and dozily walked out of the store and across the street.

Beast Boy watched until he was gone and sighed, looking around at the bonanza of sofas, couches, love seats, recliners and Laz-E-Boys. He was in the Teen Titans and they had trained him thoroughly on making this sort of important decision.

"Eenie meenie, miney mo..."

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Raven slouched in a bar stool popping some cherries the bartender offered her as Cyborg got his jollies. But that wasn't the worst part. Ohhh nooo... It was that Starfire attempted to try these "earthly customs" and had spent half her money on lap dances from anyone wh ocrossed her path. She tried to make conversations with the dancers, finding out their favorite colors and hobbies...

Raven pulled out a cherry stem from her mouth and spotted Starfire happily skipping toward her.

"Oh Raven! Do you wish to pull out this dollar bill from this fine gentleman's buttocks? If you succeed, you get to keep the dollar!"

Raven sourly looked up to Starfire, "I guess that explains all the twenties sticking out of your pockets..."

Starfire blushed giddily and dragged Raven to a pole dancing platform. Locking Raven in her seat, she whispered to a young women in a bikini that only had pasties and a g-string. Nodding with a tooth-filled grin, she went to the back of the room. Raven could feel her anger rising from deep inside her as she tried to contemplate what events were about to be unfolded.

"Ladies and gentleman! Please put your hands together for Faboccinni-AssAlinni! He'll be performing to someone very special in this room. Everyone, say Happy Birthday to Raven!"

A spotlight shone brightly onto Raven's dark atmosphere. She wore a deadpan expression but could be seen steaming from this predicament. Faboccinni moon walked over to the Mistress of Magic in a bow tie and g-string and proceeded to give her a full on lap dance. Raven grinded her teeth sharply put did not move. She saw the words Happy on one of his butt cheeks and Birthday on the other. Tightening her fists, she concluded that she would kill Starfire with the whole world watching.

Fabo's dancing proceeded without a single sweat drop emitting from his body.

"Yeah Rae! You bad ass!"

Raven silently added Cyborg on her list of people to kill...

Finally, oh yes finally, the dance was over and the group of belly dancers and strippers came over to her and handed Raven a Birthday cake with a man's _hose_ etched onto it. It read:

_Happy Birthday from Nick-Knack! Have a **romping** good time!_

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"Oh come on Raven, you know you were digging that Fabo's dance! You were practically melting into him!"

Raven sealed her mouth shut and wore the same expression she had worn for Fabo and the whole ride home. In her hands lay the dreadful cake. Starfire made point that it was vanilla icing with chocolate star-looking sprinkles. Raven didn't have the heart to tell her those weren't stars...

Cyborg and Starfire went on in detail how nice the people were to have given her a cake as raven pressed in the code to the Tower's entrance.

The door swished open to reveal...

"OH MY GOD OF MERCY!"

Beast Boy and Robin weakly came out from behind a canoe and uttered, "Surprise...?"

Cyborg kneeled in front of the canoe and cried out, "What have you done with her?"

Robin nervously replied, "Well... The couch kind of..broke so we had to go out and get a new one or at least somthing we could sit in..."

Cyborg looked at Robin and the gang disgustedly, "And you didn't even let me say GOODBYE?"

Starfire chimed in, "We did not want you to be upset. We know how much you were...disturbingly connected with the couch."

"So you're telling me that you.." Cyborg choked back on tears and forced himself to say the words, "That you _threw away_ Sonya?"

Raven quirked up an eyebrow, "Who's Sonya?"

Beast Boy replied, "The couch. Sonya the couch."

Robin tried to reason with the shaken robot, "Cyborg, Sonya was old and needed to be replaced."

"With a CANOE?"

Robin calmly replied, "That was Beast Boy's fault. HE was the one who picked it up at the furniture store under Bianca Wu."

Cyborg could no longer speak and ran to his room and dramatically slammed the door shut.

Everyone stared wide-eyed down the hall where Cy disappeared. Suddenly (and quite randomly), Beast boy looked over to Raven's cake.

"Hey! You didn't tell us it was your Birthday!"

Raven rolled her eyes, not even having the will to correct the green imp.

Beast Boy looked then questionably at it, "Is that what I think it is..?"

Starfire and Robin crowded around them curiously. Raven sarcastically stated, "Nope. It's a microphone with two tennis balls."

Starfire peers over and gasps disbelievingly, "Really?"

Robin raised his eye brows, "Nick-Knack? Isn't that the strip joint downtown?"

Raven whispered quietly, "I'd rather not talk about it."

Starfire smiled joyfully, "Oh yes and they were most pleasant down there! Look! They even put chocolate star sprinkles on Raven's cake!"

Beast Boy did a double take at the sprinkles and started to say, "Uh, Star?"

Starfire innocently looked up to him, "Yes?"

"Those aren't–"

But Robin and Raven only shook their heads, telling him that it was too late for explanations.

* * *

Hey guys! I've been working on this chapter since I went on HIATUS. I was almost finished with it in the beginning of September and lo and behold guess what I am surprised with? A new puppy! My little darling...

But enough goo-goo ga-ga's over him.

Sorry about the long wait again and if this doesn't look like my normal style of writing to you. I guess you can say I'm out of practice but I'll be back!

Here's some chapter pickings! Only the titles and then some because I don't have enough time to write out an excerpt:

Fools In Love (has a game show that tests if the Titans couples really know and love each other. BB/Rae are paired off and so was Rob and Star but the game show guys accidentally paired Robin off with an old woman who has an extra toe)

Or...

Not So Saved by the Bell (Titans teach a DARE program at a nearby school... Inappropriate questions are asked and Cy learns an important lesson from the lunch lady.)


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